


Naruto: Alternate Ending

by ShiShiro



Category: Naruto
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Coping Skills, CHAPTER 5 RE-UPLOADED, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Coma!Naruto, Don't read this if you liked the ending, Everyone is protective of Naruto, F/F, Fixing the Shinobi system, I wanted to be satisfied, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It took my 3 years just to write this first one, M/M, Naruto ending was a dream, Naruto in a coma, Naruto redo, Naruto's hair changes color, No Kaguya, Other, Protective Konoha 12, Really Slow Updates, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow To Update, Suicidal Hyuuga Hinata, Suicidal Tendencies, Supportive Konoha 12, To Be Edited, Uzushiogakure | Hidden Eddy Village, different ending, i'll do what i want, mentioned - Freeform, no boruto, one step at a time, that's important, with his emotions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:02:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 46,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22235290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiShiro/pseuds/ShiShiro
Summary: Self-indulgent. The Naruto ending and Boruto was all just a dream and now Naruto is back in his younger body, waking up from a coma. He now has to adjust to life and separate reality from irreality and the fact that not everything he thought happened, happened.Attention: Chapter 5 has been re-uploaded and small changes made.
Relationships: Leaning towards, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Undecided but definitely gay
Comments: 84
Kudos: 186





	1. Words in a Silent Forest

**Author's Note:**

> I will always write what I want. And no one can take the pen from my hand.  
> After all, it is called fan-fiction.

It didn't end gradually like in the fairy tales he happened to overhear as a child. It was sudden and left him choking on air and bone. He remembered the normalcy there was, how everything was fine, time was in the straight forward line as it has always done, as it was expected too. He was in the Hokage's office. His office that is. Talking to Shikamaru when his son Boruto (fondly nicknamed bolt) bust through the door, making it bang on the wall in the same familiar way he used to do as a child. Such a time seemed so far away now. But it was all same old same old he thought as him and Shikamaru exchanged a look while his son strode confidently into the room and started yelling at him for missing something at home. He had started to twist his shoulder while he was being yelled at, his brain not making a clear connection of what was so important. Idly he thought about what would happen if he grew facial hair like Shikamaru and if his wife would like it before looking up at his son who was telling him to be a better father while his team behind him tried to no avail to make him behave in front of the Rokudaime. He saw Sarada sigh the same way Sasuke does. Saw her get ticked off just like Sakura while his own eyes looked at him angrily in Boruto's face. He was going to have to take Bolt out for training in order for this whole ordeal to be over with. But to do that he would have to push aside some things that need to be done. Naruto twisted his shoulder again, feeling something deep crack. Maybe, he would take him to-

-Naruto blinked and his vision blacked out, and lagged, as if he blinked too fast for the darkness to follow. No, more like someone just flicked the lights off and on too quickly. It felt as though it was not just in his office but the whole world flickered with an almost painful twitch on the right side of his brain and as he refocused to the present everything seemed to have been moved slightly to the left, leaving him to pat at his desk to feel if it really moved. 

It could have happened gradually, like waking up. It could have taken a few minutes or even days as he started noticing changes and shifts to his world and piecing together things bit by bit. But then again, life had always been cruel to him. He has always been dealt a bad hand. Boruto was still talking to him, saying that he wanted to go out to eat that night with everyone. Naruto looked into the boy's eyes, just a shade to bright;

“Let's go eat old man, come spend time with your family for once!” Boruto spat at Naruto, holding a high amount of annoyance to his father that never seemed to be all there. But-

“I never had a family.”

The words slipped out distortedly layered with his own voice and someone else's. No, he was sure it was his voice twice.

He hadn't meant to say that.

The faces of those around him washes away of all familiarity like a fresh painting in a storm. Everything jumped slightly more to the left even with his eyes open in a bizarre manner that he swore he could feel his mind make. A painful headache started blooming just on his right side and started spreading at an alarming rate. The world froze outside and the face of those in front of him blurred as he focused on a tangent thread that materialized in front of him. No, that's not right either. This has always been here waiting for him to see it. The thread waned as it stretched between him and the kid he once called son. He reached out a hand, grabbed it, and snapped it.

The people in this room, the paper's on the desk, even the wood spiral on the floor became distant and fragile and so unfamiliar. Like he was the only real thing there. Their faces blurred and twisted while voices belong to no one or someone rose from the ground and assaulted his mind. His younger self-no, his old life. His real life. Something he forgot was calling to him now and it was angry. He ignored it for far to long. He then couldn't stand being around these people. These fakes. His emotions become _his_ again, and he knew that he never loved any of this.

_This wasn't his._

_His future_

Everything spiraled together in a whirlwind, shapes and colors molded into a cacophony of noise and lights and sound. It felt like a whirlpool trying to suck him in-no more like a black hole. The people in the room couldn't withstand it, and he said a quiet goodbye as they bled away into the storm. He knew he was gripping his hair as the pain folded down on him tenfold, he had to be. But he could no longer feel his body. Was he made of just air? The very air that left his lungs in a gale leaving him breathless? The combination of reality and falsehood burned his mind as they seemed to fight over which one was right, of which one got to be. The result of living on in his life but not really living at all.

_**'You know it's not right'** _

He was on his knees (if he still had knees). His ears were screaming and the colors of the world heightened and heightened to a painful saturation. This world isn't right. This world wasn't his world. He may not have a body right now, but he sure as shit knew he still had a mind. And he knew he was right.

In an impressive tidal wave of thought that lasted a second and a half, he saw all the flaws with this world, all the inconsistencies that manifest themselves due to the half-awake mind that created it. His children and their abilities, their appearances. The state of a pre-war world not reacting as such. Why did he not spend all his time with his family, something he longed so _hard_ for? How could he chose a flimsy hat over something as precious as love? Why did he let ( **Sasuke** _)_ Sasuke leave after all those aching years of trying to get him to come back? Why did he let him leave alone. Why did TSUNADE( _tsunade)_ step down from being the Hokage when she had no reason to? Other Hokage's faced war and continued to lead. Why were HIM and hinataHINATA married? He barely spoke to her and even after she confessed he still didn't know her enough. While she proved to be a very strong and courageous Shinobi, to love her? Why did his children have Byakugan but not white eyes? How did technology advance that far and why did Konohagakure of all villages decide to embrace it. _Why was Orochimaru alive and free._ How could **Sakura** be happy with a marriage like that? Why would the capable and ferocious Kunoichi decide to become housewives instead? His life from the last years and years were being played out for him to see, and he saw lies.

Why **why** _ **WHY**_

_"why"_

.

In took a second and a half for his world to implode in on itself.

Then there was the mix of color and voices before there was just a simple and pure

_white_

_._

_._

_._

_(drip)_

Naruto's first sensation was to be painfully aware of his physical body, but, it felt warm. It felt like home. The light had gone off, and here, and switched back on, not liking him get used to the light at all. He remembered feeling like his soul in his...other body didn't fit right in each other, like two incomparable puzzle pieces. He felt too big for his bones. He laid there for a moment wishing that at least he could have woken up slower instead of snapping awake as he did with all senses attached. But, here he was and he needed to know. With his eyes still closed he extended his mind slowly and calmly with a breath out. He was lying in a bed; his body was smaller now but it fits just right, however, there was an emptiness on his right side. _His arm was missing_. The arm that was so easily replaced in that...not-world. His body felt light and normal but his head was oh so heavy. He kept his thoughts to a slow pace like he learned to in meditation so as not to get too overwhelmed. Laying there, just connecting his brain with his body, he could see all the _obvious_ signs that he was in a dream world as they gently floated through his mind. Or...he hoped it was a dream. He stopped those thoughts before they could go further. Not yet. Not yet.

He stayed there in content before he finally decided to open his eyes and look towards the only source of noise that had been in the room.

A person sat there reading. His eyes, for some reason, weren't focusing properly so he couldn't make out who it was. He didn't have to stare long before the other looked up before doing a double-take and locked eyes with Naruto. The mystery person froze and a pure shock ran over their face, a comical slack jaw expression, and Naruto only had time to blink once before the other shut his jaw with an audible click and ran from the room in a frenzy, nearly taking the ground with them. They tried to shut the door behind them but did it so fast that the door bounced back and stayed open.

“Huh” was the first thing Uzumaki Naruto said upon waking from his long coma.

Naruto took a look at the ceiling expecting it to be the same white of all the hospitals he had been in. To his surprise, it wasn't white, but he still smelled the medical supplies he had grown used to, both from being in the hospital so much and having a medic-nin as a teammate. The bed frame was a standard hospital bed but the cushion and the blankets, even the pillow was far far better than any hospital he ever been in. Hell it was better than his own bed at his home _and_ his not-home.

_'Guess a dream world is pretty crap if they can't even have comfortable pillows.'_

He decided to keep himself occupied until the stranger would probably come back by taking in his surroundings, so he looked back to his right, where the man was before. The floor and walls were all made of wood and there was a window on the wall and a rickety wood door that unmistakably led to outside right beside it. The stranger who was in here was sitting on one of the- _'let's see...one, two, three, four'_ Naruto counted in his head the chairs in the room. They all sat at the end of his quilt covered feet, two on each side. They looked a little old but still decent. He let his gaze continue naturally and looked over to the left to see a folding screen spread out. Naruto would continue taking in his surroundings but he didn't have the energy nor did his head feel happy to move anymore. But he did see a medical curtain at the end of the screen though and a shelf with various supplies of the far left of the room next to the door that led to a hall. It took more energy than he thought and he gritted his teeth as he forced his head back straight. For now, he was at peace with just watching the ceiling fan turn lazily. The breeze felt really nice.

' _I wished it stayed this peaceful.'_

The blanket smelled of tree pine and the ground after a rainstorm. It was a familiar smell that was deeply rooted into Naruto's consciousness. The smell that was purely home.

“ _Does it make me a bad person...to hope that time freezes right now?”_

The sound of hurried footsteps came easily in the silence of this place. The door was pushed open more with an exclaim of “Naruto!”

He didn't turn to greet the voice. He didn't move at all besides watching the fan. Waking up exhausted him far beyond what he thought and the more he moved the worse it got. Besides that, a deep layer of fear laid with him, suggesting that this was all a dream still. The flaws of the not-world were obvious but who knew if this place was real? He didn't know how long he had been here but it felt like he wasn't asleep at all. It made him wonder, if someone is awake and then sleeps, but dreams that they are awake, and the dream is so realistic that even they can't tell the difference are they really dreaming? Does their body know they are dreaming? He thought on how he was in his 30s just a few minutes ago...but now he doesn't feel quite that old. He wasn't sure of anything anymore. He felt as though he aged in real-time but this body is different. Is this just a-

Something wet hit his face and silenced all the growing voices in his head. He found that his eyes finally could focus again and the first thing they saw was his grandma Tsunade crying above him. He felt her holding his hand so gently, more gentle than she ever was. Even though she was crying her face was filled for the most beautiful form of _happiness_.

He knew then that this was most likely home. The world he was living in just a while ago now seemed like a distant dream of imperfections. Any emotions that he still might of had for that place withered away as he gazed at the adoring face of his Obaa-chan. He didn't feel sad about losing all of that because now he could see just how wrong it was in the first place. Being awake he almost scolded himself at how he hadn't notice earlier, after all the details of that dream world were so badly conjured together that it was obvious it was created by someone only half there. But it was alright now, he could feel it in his body. He was young again and he was home again.

Home.

-

-

Tsunade the current Hokage was in the room of one freshly awake Uzumaki Naruto. She had to clench her fist in order not to hug her Otouto into oblivion. They already had their reunion earlier but she could tell Naruto was still connecting to reality. She kept his awake statues a secret (one that she will regret later) until he could adjust back properly. That would be harder to do with all his friends rushing in.

When Tsunade told Naruto he had been coma he almost laughed in hysterics. Trying to connect a brain with a body in two different timelines was proving to be difficult. But something he would do.

At one point Naruto tried to sit up for fear of falling back to sleep. He didn't want to close his eyes and go back to the dream his coma mind came up with. However, when he went to shift his weight to his right hand from his left elbow he only met air. He would have fallen off the bed had it not been for strong arms catching him under the armpits. Naruto didn't even glance at the one who helped him. Not that he would see much as his eyes would go in and out of focus whenever they wanted. He didn't realize that his Sensei Kakashi was in the room with him looking down at him with eyes full of relief and desperation and happiness. No, Naruto didn't even hear his name being whispered out of his Sensei's mouth, which may be for the best as he wouldn't be able t identify the heavy emotions that came with the slip of his name. Naruto, at the time, was too busy staring at his nub of an arm. In his minds eye he could see the silhouette of the bandaged wrapped, full arm he had in the dream. Now...here, there was nothing. Just empty, painful space. The vision of the other arm faded leaving him with a different reality. He had no arm.

It was all empty.

-

Kakashi sat on his right side in a chair. He originally tried to sit on his left but as he went to sit a hum stopped him in his tracks. He was going to choose the left so whenever Naruto looked at him he wouldn't have to be reminded of his missing arm, but as he looked up Naruto's _awake_ eyes stared him down, deep and cold sharp blue that could have stab Kakashi's soul directly out of his body if they so choose to. Kakashi desperately followed them as Naruto cocked his head to the right, to the chair to the right. So Kakashi sat there, never taking his eyes away. The Hokage Tsunade was leaning close on the wall behind him. They waited in happy compliance as Naruto sat and thought, those same stunning eyes tracing over them both in a gravely manner. Kakashi was eager to answer all the questions that Naruto might ask but for now, all he could do was drink in the blue eyes he had longed to open. That he spent so long _begging_ to open. He felt like he couldn't get enough at seeing them.

Naruto opened his mouth and Tsunade and Kakashi leaned in, in a very not subtle way but whatever tried to come out of Naruto's mouth never made it. His voice came out deep before ending in a high strangle sound and Kakashi all but scrambled out of his chair for some water to give. He helped Naruto take a few sips and waited for him to try again. Instead of a gravelly cracking voice, nothing came out. Kakashi felt like he could die.

“His voice has been in such disuse that it may take some time before he can speak properly.” Kakashi looked over to Tsunade and saw that desperation in her expression and felt somewhat better about his own thoughts. They got Naruto some paper and a pencil and helped him close his hand in a grip so he could write. They waited patiently for the first question.

 _Taptap_ Naruto tapped his pencil when he was done and leaned back as they both leaned in to read it.

_How long was I out?_

Tsunade and Kakashi glanced at each other before Tsunade spoke.

“You were in a coma for...three years. Three years have gone by.” They watched Naruto's expression but to their surprise he didn't seen as shock by the news as they thought he would be. After all, he was the kid that threw a fit when he was asleep for a week after getting injured as a child. They didn't know, however, what was going inside Naruto's mind.

_'Three years. Three years for my physical body, while mentally fifteen years had gone by.'_

They would have said more but Naruto began to write again.

_Are we in Konoha?_

Kakashi answered that one.

“Yes, we are in Konohagakure. You are home, Naruto.” Kakashi felt as though he could cry. In fact he really wanted to but he didn't want to scare Naruto by doing something so uncharacteristic. He knew he would get it out later though. The tapping of the pencil told him Naruto had another question.

_Where in Konoha?_

They told him how he was in a special hospital that was built square in the center of the village right by the Hokage tower. It was made quickly in the rubble for treating those wounded in the war. Neither of them said how it really was made just for Naruto. How they planted a garden and everything for him as they waited for him to awake.

_What caused the coma?_

This earned a laugh from Tsuande (the first since Naruto has been asleep). “Well Gaki, anyone would be in a coma after spreading their entire chakra to literal thousands of Shinobi! Not to mention making so many clones at the same time!” She explained in a seemingly gleeful manner. She had a broad smile on her face but Kakashi knew it wasn't something to marvel out. He knew that for a moment, she didn't know if he was going to make it. He would never tell Naruto how often Tsunade would stay up by his bed at night, cursing him for putting so many other people before him. He wouldn't tell him about how she punched a few diplomats in the face after they called what Naruto did a 'one of a kind patriot act' and how 'beautiful it was seeing a young man go out with the intent to die for his country.' Kakashi gripped his hands together tighter.

_Naruto stumbled in a step as his charka suddenly drained from the battlefield way too quickly, washing away like a wave from the shore, only to never return. Kakashi watched as Naruto turned to look at him with the most beautiful smile ever seen in his life. His lips moved, the words almost drowned out, before he pitched backward and collapsed. Kakashi ran for him. It was a suicidal act, what he was doing, and nobody stopped him from doing it, because they all forgot that the one that brings miracles and the one that brought hope was still just a human._

Kakashi blinked as he felt a soft touch on his face and he snapped his stare back to Naruto's eyes. Kakashi roamed over the other's face, and before he could stop himself, he instinctively leaned into the hand on his cheek. He let out a shaky breath at the feel of the warm and soft hand, nuzzling into it, breathing in a deep scent, and sigh. This hand, and these eyes, he waited _so long_ for them to open, for them to move, and now that they are it seems like his emotions are finally ready to let loose. How many nights, how many weeks had he spent in this room by this person's side? Telling him about his day and how he was doing hoping to see that smile or hear him say his name? This was beyond anything that Naruto did in the past. He gave his all for the world.

And Kakashi didn't stop him.

What he did on the battlefield would have killed anyone. Instantly. Kakashi should have tried harder to get him to stop. To find a way to at least help the load. But he didn't do anything and he almost lost someone that made him feel joy in life again. The person that got him out of bed everyday and didn't think he was special just because of his past deeds or who his father was. The one person that saw him for him, and all his hidden sides. Kakashi brought a hand up to the one cupping his face, _defying_ anything to ever take it away again, and tried to press into firmly but couldn't, for the shaking had already started.

Kakashi didn't know at what part did he start crying, and he probably still wouldn't notice had it not been for Naruto wiping away his tears with his thumb, but when he looked up, and saw the same, small and beautiful smile on his face, then did Kakashi crumple. His knees hit the floor painfully as he threw his head onto Naruto's legs and cried. He let out three years' worth of tears and then some. To many emotions, once bottled up carefully and corked away, let themselves out in front of the presence of the person Kakashi trusted so much. It felt good, and free, and at the same time, it all exhausted himself that, in a matter of minutes and before he knew it he was out.

“Hmm, falling asleep after crying so hard, who knew Kakashi could be such a kid?” Tsunade mused to herself as she also wiped away a stray tear. She understood though, the feeling. If she was being honest all she wanted right now is to also lay her head in Naruto's lap and cry her eyes out too. Then she would take him to get sake and tuck him by her side and never let him leave ever again. And seeing him look down at Kakashi with a look of pure confusion only served to double her feelings. She chuckled just a little before sitting on Naruto's other side.

“Naruto, I want to measure how much you are with us okay? Are you alright with telling me what you remember until now?”

There is something Tsunade hasn't told Naruto yet. A change that happened. Something with his appearance that she noticed. About two years into his coma, Tsunade came in to check on him and noticed that his hair turned white. It wasn't like Kakashi's silver hair or any elderly. It was a deep, pure white. She checked his vitals and body but found no anomaly. It wasn't uncommon for people with extreme stress to have their hair turn white and giving that nothing else was wrong she could only assume that taking care of the entire Allied Shinobi army was the cause. His hair stayed white then. It was white as he slept another year. It was white yesterday when she came for the daily check and when she come charging in after hearing news of his awaking it was white.

However, to her shock, when she was cradling his face and crying, when they locked eyes and Naruto focused on her his hair....it turned back to blonde.

After calming down and checking up on him again and noting still nothing was wrong she decided to leave it until Naruto was more sound.

When Naruto tried to get up and almost fall over his missing arm his hair lifted, as if by a gently wind, before turning back white. She almost wanted to avoid the hard look Kakashi gave her.

His hair turned back blonde, after Kakashi had been there for an hour or so and stayed that way even when he asked about how long he was in a coma for. And now, being asked to remember everything to this point, Tsunade watched as Naruto's hair lifted and in the dim setting light coming in from the window, turned that incredible pure white once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments are welcomed. Thank you for reading my own self-indulgent piece.


	2. Leaning on the Rail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I like to believe most realizations are not, in fact, good. But who knows? Sometimes you need to hear bad things before good things can start.

He disliked the feeling of this bone deep tired. As though he didn't sleep a good potion of his life away. The kind of tired that slipped past his flesh and went into the very veins of his body so he swam in it. He hoped he would see the surface soon.

Naruto gazed into the eyes of his Baa-chan as a whole other lifetime flashed before his eyes. He saw a battlefield, a marriage, and his own body growing into something different. The brief image of his face from the not-world flashed by, and he felt as if he could dry heave. The knowledge that he basically aged and then de-aged hit him like a brick to the face. He felt a prick of anger as he blinked away the shadow face in his vision. Honestly, why would he cut his hair that short anyway? Both his parents had long hair, and he would be lying if he said he hadn't thought to grow his out like his mother. But she had such beautiful red hair. He didn't think his would look even a fraction of beautiful as hers.

_(He knew he was thinking these small things in order not to think of the big things right now.)_

But Tsunade was waiting for an answer. So, he wrote down the most obvious thing and tapped the paper with his pen when he was done.

Tsunade looked at the quick written word.

_War_

_“_ Yes, the war. It truly was terrible, wasn't it. But then again what war isn't?” Tsunade leaned back and crossed her arms as memories of her own flooded her mind. “Who knew I would have to fight Uchiha Madara in my lifetime? Certainly not me!” She and Naruto both chuckled at that. Tsunade had a lot of time to come to terms with the war and what it had taken, and her feeling had settled to the point where talking about it wasn't like trying to swallow a rock dry. She eyed Naruto up though, as he was still tense, and felt good that she could properly console her newly awaken coma patient without her own feelings getting in the way. She put a comforting hand on Naruto's shoulder as he wrote down a ' _we lost a lot of good Shinobi, good people.'_ and rubbed his back in a soothing manner as they both thought of all the lives taken. But, as stated before, she came to terms with the loses so instead she focused on rubbing Naruto's back. He was like a cat really, she thought to herself. Such a simple touch, and it were as if it was the best thing he felt in his life, having his back rubbed. She knew what it was, has been a Medicle-Shinobi for a long time now and has seen many things in her life. She knew how a touch starved person behaved and Naruto fit the bill. It pains her though. She remembered the first time she comforted him in such a manner and how shock and weirded out he was. How he refuses to be touched when going through emotion turmoil. His need to be alone in traumatic events is all because that's what he was used to. Suffering alone. Even now, Tsuande has no idea what all happened in Naruto's childhood, while being a vessel for a demon. She could guess, they could _all_ guess but in the end that's all they were. Guesses. They don't know what really happened, and, even though he tries to hide it Naruto does ring some bells for different forms of abuse. Tsunade paused her rubbing for a moment as to not over-stimulate Naruto and smiled a little as she thought of the times that Shikamaru, of all people came to her wanting to talk about Naruto's past. Back then Shikamaru was still a child and it showed. How he tried to play it cool while feeling her out and how wide-eyed he got when she started to seriously engage him.

_'That Nara...he really is a good friend.'_

He knows about as much as she does concerning Naruto's past but a couple of times he invited her over to his home, psychology and behavioral books strewn about, and they would sit, and drink and she would listen to his concerns and thoughts and watch his face, held in that strong determination he only gets when he gives his 100% and the underlying pure sadness that he tries to cover up.

_'Yeah, he is just what someone like Naruto needs.'_

She ran her hand down Naruto's spine and then back up to rest at his shoulder as she knows he likes and contained the act as she read the next oncoming writing.

_Kaguya was a really tough opponent_

The rubbing stopped.

Tsunade stared down at the writing trying to figure out if he meant someone else. If there was a spelling mistake. She kept a hand on his shoulder while leaning over it and peered at the paper. Finally she just asked; “Who is Kaguya?”

Naruto looked up at her with the biggest doe eyes and tilted his head (god she didn't know how much she missed such a small but signature act. She nearly forgot just how _cute-)_ before writing more.

_The moon lady who wanted everyone's chakra, we had to fight her at the end and seal her way._

Tsunade stared some more. In fact, she stood there and stared at the paper and then Naruto's eyes for such a long time that he grew uncomfortable. Tsunade had the entirety of the war playing out in her head and just to be safe she played it over another time to try tp see if what Naruto wrote had any semblance. As she was busy thinking she groped around for her wheely chair to grab. She sat in it, paused, wheeled closer and took a deep breath. All of this making Naruto very uncomfortable.

“Naruto,” she started. “I...remember the war completely, I had time to think about it, since you've been...asleep.” She looked deep into his eyes, searching, and Naruto saw how the war aged her eyes just like it did him. The pause in between words lengthen before she spoke again. The weight of a million things unsaid behind it. “Naruto, there was no Kaguya on that battlefield. I've never even heard of her.”

Naruto sat there for a moment, brows furrowing deeper by the second. He would have written his objection down, maybe even say how her old age was finally getting to her. But, when she spoke, she spoke with all the finality and certainty that only a Kage could have. He knew that because he too _once had that voice_. He opened his mouth a couple of times, his gaze searching her face before frantically starting to search the room. He landed on a Kakashi that was still laying in his lap a couple of times before settling there. His eyes widen as he gazed at the silver hair and he snatched his pen and quickly wrote.

_I'm not sure if you were still in the Tsuki no Me but Kakashi was with us. He would know._

Tsuande's gaze flickered to Kakashi, who was still laying on Naruto's lap but unknown to him fully awake and listening carefully. His dark and weary eyes staring steadily at the wall across the room, showing the intent focus he had on everything going on at the moment. She looked back to Naruto.

“Naruto, it's been three years since you've been asleep and in the time I have had plenty of talks with the other Shinobi about what happen during the war. I was even counseling a number of them. And in all those talks, even with Kakashi here, not once has anyone said anything about a Kaguya. Nor had there been any names resembling hers or the description you gave.” The Kage voice was back, Naruto clenched his teeth together with such force that they made a sound. A strained and painful sounding huff of breath escaped out of him, and he tensed where he sat. All mannerism so unlike their Naruto that the other two occupants knew, it was as if he was an adult, and they were the children.

Naruto shifted a bit, enough to rustle Kakashi who was slowly sitting back up. But Naruto either didn't notice or didn't comment on it. He wrote more names down on the paper before personally handing it to Tsunade instead of tapping it. The air in the room was tense as she read.

“I'm sorry Naruto, none of these names mean anything to me. I haven't heard a single one of them.” She sat the paper down carefully and shook her head as Naruto pointedly tapped on a name 'Hagoromo, old Sage.' He paused, looked her deep in the eyes before tapping the same name again. Tsunade, for his benefit, took another look but ultimately shook her head negative again and gave her a sorry expression. She and Kakashi, who was now sitting slouched in a way that shouldn't be comfortable watched attentively as Naruto laxed his grip and let the pen roll about. It was his turn to now gaze distantly at the wall ahead of him. He didn't move, but his gaze was frightening. The blue eyes were heavy and sharp, seeming to be made out of pure diamond. His gaze slowly narrowed, his expression becoming more strained and grim. Kakashi sat up straight and put a heavy hand on Naruto's knee in an attempt to ground him back. Not realizing that, with that worried expression he wore he looked like a dog trying to give comfort. Tsunade was torn from recoiling from such an expression on Naruto's face to figuring out where all those names came from. If it were just one it may have been fine but with such an extensive list as this. A sage? Kakashi and Tsuande both jumped as Naruto started to hyperventilate. His breathing became erratic and unsteady and painful sounding. The air trying to force its way out of a small throat way too quickly. Kakashi had both hands on his shoulders keeping him steady as they were both trying to calm him back down. He started to thrash in their hold. He was pushing them away.

“Naruto-”

“Naruto please calm down!”

“We'll get you through this-”

“We-”

Naruto opened his mouth and from it a deep scratching voice echoed out.

“get...OUT!”

Tsuande and Kakashi's eyes widen as Naruto swung his arm in an effort to give himself space.

“GET OUT, LEAVE ME.. ALONE”

After he finished yelling he sat there with his hair covering his eyes and breathing heavily but more stable. The silence after the yelling made Kakashi's ears ring. He himself was breathing fast, unsure how to help or what to do. A heavy hand on his shoulder dragged him from his panicking. Tsunade looked him in the eyes.

“Let's go, Hatake.” Kakashi tensed and shook his head. He made a move to get to Naruto's side but was stop by Tsuande's pure strength.

“Kakashi, he wants to be alone.” Tsunade's voice cracked at the end. A sorrowful expression crossing her face as she moved to stand in Kakashi's line of sight.

“He's got his breathing under control now, you see? So it's fine. Let's just give him so space.” She was saying this for Naruto's sake, he noticed, as a pained look once again took over her features and she bit he lip. Space was the last thing either of them wanted at the moment. He just woke up. Kakashi's gaze drifted from the Hokage's honey colored eyes to the only window in the room where there, he saw the reflection of snow-white. The color gradually climbing, covering all the blonde there was until it was almost to pure of a color to look at. He wanted...they both wanted to be by Naruto. But they never wanted to hurt him. Kakashi let out a long sigh and let Tsunade lead him to the door. The both stopped and turned back, calling his name at the same time before locking eyes. They both smiled.

“We will be back, Naruto.”

The door closed, and the two adults use all their willpower to walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments help keep me inspired. And inspiration is the main driving force of any writer.  
> Thanks for all the kudos!


	3. Sound of Ink Tide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the errors in this chapter. Please tell me what you think.

Naruto watched as Tsunade and Kakashi left, trying to ignore the longing they both had on their faces. He tried to keep his breathing under control as he brought a hand up to cover his eye.

(Not _a_ hand, it's _the_ hand now. He only has one.)

He couldn't wrap his head around the situation. In fact, it seemed like the room was swirling around him as he tried to make sense of this new information.

“No Kaguya...no Old Man Sage. That means...the war didn't happen as I remember. Does that mean I'm in a different place? Or is this really the past? Did I make up those people? No, they were so real though.”

Sometimes talking out his problems out loud helped him but now it was making everything worse. Naruto rubbed at his temple as a blistering headache starting forming. His skin felt too clammy.

“No, the war happened here right? It happened just differently. Or, it happened normally I'm the one that's different. It's me right? I'm the problem in the scenario right? Unless...this is another dream.”

Those words that he has purposely been avoided this entire time seemingly made the world stop. Naruto's blue eyes got wider and wider as he clutched his head. His heart felt like it was tied with weights and thrown into the ocean or maybe it was him that was thrown into the waters. Gripping his hair Naruto looked up to see both doors in the room shaking as if someone was trying to break into them before being forced down. Water flooded his room to quickly to even stop. The murky water crashed into the wall on the opposite side before coming back and filling up and up and up. It was bitterly cold lapping at his crossed feet before continuing up to the height of his waist. Naruto's eyes flickered down, he stared impassively as it climbed the rest of his body in a matter of seconds and submerged him completely. A feeling of detachment pierced the poor boy like a numbing needle. He sighed out of his nose as he leaned his head back, causing bubbles. Naruto felt almost at peace in the cold embrace and that thought made him squeeze his eyes shut.

When he opened them again the water and the roaring sensation it caused was gone. No, that's not right. The water wasn't there in the first place. Naruto released his grip on his hair and winced as his headache pierced and then lessened from the lack grip. He looked left, right, up and down, but there was no water. The room was as dry as it should be. He looked back down to his hand, bone dry and shaking. This situation was becoming more and more out of control. So Naruto did what he would always do. He flung open the door that leads outside and ran as far away from the hospital as he could. Not looking back, for fear of a submerged building or new revelations it didn't matter. He ran.

–

Naruto sprinted into the third ally he came upon to catch his breath. He was more winded than he ever thought possible just from running. His vision was a little unfocused as he looked down to his bare feet as he gasped.

' _This body feels old...no that's not it either. Rather then that, it's been a long time since it moved.'_

Regaining his breath Naruto walked towards the opening of the ally. He brought up his hand to cover his vision from the strong sun as he came out. Naruto looked around and ignored the slight throb in his head as his vision distorted between the not world's village, the village from long ago, and the current vision that came from reasonable time. He clenched his eyes shut and shook his head to get his sight to return to normal and took everything in.

The village...didn't look entirely to different.

' _Wait, different from what? Different from the past or the not-world?'_

Naruto hummed a little in irritation as he walked in the shadows of the buildings. It was hard not to compare things to the not-world considering he lived in it for many years, mentally. The village wasn't, what was the word, high tech like he lived in. But the buildings and shops were not the old, nearly dumpy, way they used to be. Naruto mused to himself as his long life living as the Hokage came back.

_'The building here are made of both wood, stone, and sheet metal. That means that the relations of our imports and exports are doing extremely well if they could afford to build regular homes with metal instead of reserving it from important buildings like the Hokage Tower.'_

Without thinking, Naruto walked down the streets that he walked down again and again and again. It pained him that things weren't exactly the same, even though he knew they wouldn't build things exactly the same as before after-

' _Wait.'_ Naruto stopped in his tracts

_'When...did Konoha change its style? After a war...they wouldn't be in any place to use expenses to rebuild an entire village. Especially after just rebuilding from Pein-'_

Naruto's eyes shot open and he doubled over as memories assaulted his mind. The street he was on was more familiar than he thought originally.

_After Pein the village was ruined. Shikaku and Yamato were consulted in the re-building of the village. They wanted to use stronger and less ignitable material._

Naruto chocked on nothing while still reeling. He caught the sight of something white in the corner of his eyes but he didn't care at the moment.

_'Did the village look like this before?'_

His vision distorted again. Memories of the village returning and the street he was on becoming more and more familiar. The way it looked, the materials used. He knew if he rounded this corner a new row of homes made out of golden stone would be there. Something unheard of at the time.

“Aaaa...aaaa!” Naruto felt like his heartbeat was in his head. The pain was near indescribable. He kept his hand wrapped around his head, feeling as though it was the only thing keeping his head together. He wished deeply for his other arm. Naruto curled more into himself, feeling his knees dig painfully into the ground and clenching his teeth together. He felt so lost. His shoulders started shaking as he choked when a hand touched his shoulder.

“Excuse me, are you all right? Do you need help?” An unfamiliar but soft voice came from his right side. Naruto froze all movement before slowly looking over at a woman who appeared to be a shop keeper. Naruto stared at her some more before raising her head and looking at her more clearly.

“I saw you collapse over here and I got worried. If you want I-” The woman cut herself off once she got a good look at his face. Naruto saw her trace the three marks on each side of his cheeks and tensed. That move being all too familiar.

His childhood flashed before his eyes. All the loneliness. All the fear. Never knowing why he was so hated, why he came home to know one. Why people saw those marks on his face and became so enraged. All those names he was called. Being referred to as 'that kid' by most but a beast and worse by others. Naruto felt a tear he long since forgot about prick at the corner his eye as the feeling of pure anguish washed over him. A feeling that he was more familiar with than this street on any other street he has ever lived on. He knew what came next. He knew what came when people registered his face with that expression and he was prepared for it. In the not-world, he was loved. He was loved like he always wanted to be. More than being the Hokage or being excepted. That...was what he wished for more deeply than anything. That was the world he created. His dream world. It seemed almost pathetic now, and Naruto felt a bitter smile force itself on his face as he stared back waiting for the look that caused so many nightmares and heartache. He really was loved in the other world, and now he was back here, and he was prepared for it.

But Naruto wasn't expecting what happened next. The woman before him, right at the part where he would be cursed at or looked at in disgust, changed her face into one of pure mourning and sorrow. And it was directed at him! Wait, it took Naruto's brain a minute to connect that it wasn't directed at him, but for him. The same look Tsunade, Sakura, Shikamaru, Kakashi, and...Sasuke would give him, whenever he talked a bit about his past with just them. This woman before him was looking like that at him and he could only stare dumbly as she purposely put her hand back on his shoulder. No one dared touch him willingly as a child. 

“Do you want me to call someone, Naruto- _san_ ” Naruto torn his gaze way from the hand back to her and felt as if he exploded. No...why, why was she looking at him like this? This wasn't right. He tried to get up but tripped backwards startling the woman. He wanted to escape, to leave, to just got away from those eyes looking at him. Why this, why now? He noticed some other people have started to gather. He was used to them gathering to stare him down but they weren't looking at him with the cold stare he was used to. He should want this. But no...this is different. This was real. He always had a feeling of being out of his body in the not-world but even then no one looked at him like this. No one looked at him like they say and understand and accepted his pain. Naruto started to hyperventilate as he looked back and forth. He brought his arm back up to shield his gaze as he focused inward for his signature move, the Kage Bushin Justu. He was going to scatter and leave. Naruto pulled down within himself and gathered the Chakra forward, but he was too undone, has been too undone since waking up, that it took him a moment to realize something was off about his Chakra. It felt clumped instead of streaming. As he forced it up in a rush it came and sizzled his skin. That wasn't normal. Naruto cried out as it felt as if his Chakra leaked right out of him, clumping together as he tried to form some more. He tried to focus back, shielding his face away from those in front of him. But the second he tried to use persicion-

_Bambam...BAM BAM BAM_

Literal sparks exploded around his body, made from the Chakra that leaked out that he couldn't control. Naruto looked fearful, and in the fear still tried to summon at least one clone. He closed his eyes again and dipped down lower and in a scramble brought up with him as much Chakra as he could. He could feel his skin burn and the sizzle of the sparks grown louder and more frequent before-

_BOOM_

A man-sized explosion erupted from his Chakra, throwing him back to crash into the shop front behind him. All his strength left him and the Chakra that he just expanded left him dizzy. Naruto pried one eye opened and saw the people that were crowding him were also blown back. The woman who was trying to help him lying prone on the ground.

Naruto gasped, trying to sit up but having difficultly getting out of the apple cart he landed in. A handful of people went to the woman. He could say it was something else. That it could have been an explosive tag some kid threw. But he knew, he knew it came from him. He knew that he did this.

An old man that ran the fruit stand helped him out of it gently but Naruto didn't notice. The second he was on his feet he took off and ran ran ran. He heard calls behind him and saw that weird white out of his peripherals but he didn't stop. Tears spilled from his eyes. He was angry! Why did that happen? Why did he do that? He hurt someone! As he flew down the street. He didn't know this place. He didn't know what was real or not. He was so confused and he didn't know who to talk to. The looks the woman was giving him, the looks that Tsunade and Kakashi were giving him.

“What happened? What really happened while I was out? How much of the past did I make up? Is this real or is this all a dream too!? WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER! ” Naruto shouted to no one but himself as he continued to high tail it back to the hospital. The pieces of white that were flying before his eyes becoming red as anger overcame him.

He ran to the hospital building that he left. He thought he heard his name being called behind him but he didn't look. When he approached the door he saw Tsunade standing there with Kakashi and Iruka looking stern as if they were preparing to head the direction he came too. Naruto's expression turned pinched and painful as he spotted his beloved Iruka, but he didn't stop. He put his head down as he ran right in between all of them into the hospital. He ran down the hall, his feet slapping against the wood floor. Naruto spotted a broom propped against the wall as he ran by that he grabbed before flinging the door to his room open and slamming it shut behind him. He shoved the broom in place to prevent the sliding door from being opened before running to the outside door and window by his bed. He slammed the window shut and locked in, drawing the curtains closed and locked the door from the inside before throwing himself into the corner. He brought his knees to his chest as banging from outside started. For a brief moment, Naruto thought that maybe a crowd of pitchfork carrying villagers were here to drive him out. But the voices on the other side were ones he knew too well.

“Naruto? Naruto!? What happened? Please let me in!” Iruka was in the hallway trying to open the door. He heard Tsunade out there as well telling him to open up so she can heal him. Naruto didn't know what she was talking about until his staggering gaze went to the floor to see bloody footprints leading to the spot he was in. His feet were covered in blood and dirt. He felt pain on his arm and saw a bruise form near a cut. A cut that was small but not healing. He saw the door leading to outside jiggle and knew it had to be Kakashi, but he didn't know who was at the window also trying to get in.

“Naruto let us in, please.” The pain in Tsuande's voice hurt him more than the wounds he had. Iruka pleaded as well as Kakashi talked in the deep and soothing voice he had when trying to persuade something. Naruto clenched his teeth, feeling like a trapped animal that they ought to kill. He stood up in his spot before taking a deep breath.

“LEAVE ME ALONE YOU...YOU FAKES!” The outburst shocked the others into silence. He could practically feel the gears in the minds turning, trying to figure out what he meant.

“I did everything for this village. I saved it so many times! You guys put me through so much shit... SO WHEN I SAY LEAVE ME ALONE THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS LEAVE ME ALONE! I don't want to see anyone until I figure out what the hell happened, alright?!” The force of his yelling nearly made him collapse but he stood his ground.

“If you want to talk then we can talk through the doors, but this is my place! This is my...my den! Don't come in unannounced unless I say you can or I'll use everything in my to Fight. You. Out!” With the last of his blow out, Naruto stared determinedly at the doors. The quiet left in his wake made his ears ring. No one said anything, and knew that they were desperately trying to figure out what he meant. Naruto heard the window move again, he turned his head and snarled. He went in deep and started to push Chakra out. Pops and sizzle of his Chakra came to life, and the curtains moved from the small shock waves they produced. Naruto crouched down lower.

“Stop.” The commanding and authoritative voice of the Hokage resounded from both him and Tsunade at the same time. Everything stopped. He turned his head to look at the door Tsunade was behind. He expected a screaming fight to start. Or to even see her use her immense strength to break down the door. But none of that happened. Instead, she talked in a soft but pleading voice.

“Naruto, we will stop. For now. There is some bandages and other medical supplies by the desk near this door. If you open the biggest draw a small refrigerator should be in there. Use the water to patch up...if you really don't want me doing it. I would really not like to agree but, I'll accept your terms.” Naruto heard the other people start to inject at Tsuande's statement.

“But know that I'm only agreeing because you don't know the consequences of fighting right now. When you are ready, I'll tell you all you need to know. Until then,” Naruto heard the sound of a chair being dragged over before it stopped at the door. “I'll be sitting right here waiting for you.”

Naruto heard another chair being dragged over and heard Kakashi slid down the outside door to sit as well.

“Naruto?” Naruto's eyes widen as he was finally able to piece the voice together. It was Sakura.

“Naruto, I'll be here too. As your teammate yes but more importantly...as you friend!” He looked through the crack of the curtains to see a silhouette dip down. He could only imagine her sitting on her knees outside the window.

“I'm not leaving without talking to you either, Naruto.” Iruka spoke next in the determined voice he had. Naruto felt him nearly fall apart just hearing him before looking over when Kakashi chimed in with a hum. Naruto looked from door to door to window before down to his bloody feet. His brain didn't feel lighter, but he did feel thirsty. With a sigh he walked over to the medical cabinets, not wincing at the clinking sound his feet made when he stepped on the glass still lodged in his feet. He opened up the cold wood cabinet and the refrigerator inside before talking out one of the huge bottles of water in there. He put it in between his knees to hold while he sat on the cabinets to steady himself to unscrew the cap. He dipped his head back and downed the whole thing in one sitting leaving him gasping. He could practically feel the concern rolling in from underneath the door. He glanced at it before grabbing another bottle, opening it and chugging half before pouring the rest on his feet. He found the cloths and bandages easily enough but took his time whipping his feet off and bandaging up. Naruto was doing that on purpose though, to see if they would stay true to their promise or get impatient and break down the doors. They kept their word though, and he knew they were so quiet because they were all intensely listening to him and any sounds he made. Naruto pulled out a big piece of glass from the window behind the fruit stand that he crashed into. He looked at it in his hand and saw the woman on the ground in the reflection of it. The whine that came from his lips couldn't be stopped but to the credit of everyone outside the most he heard was a chair scrap lightly on the ground at the sound. Naruto finished bandaging his feet with his one arm and leaned back on the wall. He let out a long deflating sigh as he stared at nothing for a few a while and then sighed again. He looked towards the door Tsunade was before speaking.

“...Alright. Tell me what you know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments inspire me as much as I hope to inspire you.


	4. Cold Breeze Through the Bamboo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am happy to have this chapter ready for you! Please enjoy it.  
> I would like to say one thing though. Due to a traumatic event in the past, I have a very poor memory. If you see me contradict myself in this piece of work, please let me know! I will be eternally grateful.  
> (For example, having Naruto have two arms instead of one.)  
> Thank you! Enjoy.

Naruto paused, thinking...considering, before adding;

“You can...open the doors.” he licked his lips of any remaining water from them. “But, you are _not_ allowed to cross the threshold. Unless you want to stomach my wrath.”

There was a pause again after his words, more for him than for any thinking. He knew, deep down, that they are restraining themselves from not listening to him and just rushing him to do what they feel is right. But he is not the same Naruto as before, and the sentence goes so many different ways. They could feel it. They could see it. They won't be able to do as they please with him anymore for the time being. Or treat him like a kid. He won't let them.

He took the broom off of the door that leads to the hallway and sat back down on top of the cabinets. The door slid open once he was seated, as they waited for him, and he was grateful for that. Tsunade scanned him with the cut and precision of the great medic she was, taking him in from his hair to his arms, to his legs and his bandaged covered feet. Her arms twitched but they remained at her side until she sat down on the chair she pulled up and settled them in her lap. Naruto looked away from how hard she clenched them to make direct eye contact with Iruka.

Naruto's breath softly left him as he gazed upon the warm eyes of his most precious person. Hazel eyes, barring flecks of brown and green now but in the summertime, Naruto knew he would be able to see them change to blue. Warm and soft and gentle. He tore his gaze away to instead stare at the scar running across his nose, as staring too long into Iruka's eyes always made him feel like tears would fall for some reason. Well...he didn't know why as a child but he knew now. Naruto knew that those tears would be of pure happiness at Iruka loving him just as much as he loved Iruka, and mourning; at the cruel childhood he had where no one looked at him with any softness at all. So he moved his gaze to Iruka's scar but noticed the change in the other man at his actions. In the past, Iruka didn't say anything about Naruto's habit of avoiding direct eye contact. No one did. Naruto would look into people's eyes for three seconds max before looking anywhere else. He couldn't stand direct eye contact unless he was staring down enemies. But...for some reason doing it now...Iruka's body language changed. Naruto could read that. His shoulders hunched and he bit his lip. His eyes...were sad. Naruto concluded that Iruka must be upset that he wasn't meeting his eyes. After being asleep for so long. He tried his best to reach his eyes again but it was too much so he turned to look at Kakashi, who had open the door that led outside and sat, resting his back on the frame. Kakashi was looking at him softly too, which was a tad weird as he typically didn't. Their eyes met as well but...Kakashi made a point to hold it for three seconds before pointedly looking away.

 _'???'_ Naruto tilted his head to the side. _'Kakashi knows of my rule? Well, he's crazy observant so he probably picked it up. But why is he doing it now?'_

Sakura didn't open the window or make herself seeable. He was also thankful for that. The image of her older self...a wife and a mother. A wife in a bad relationship and a mother who doesn't talk with her only child, all that flashed before his eyes, and for a second he could _smell_ the not world it was almost like he went back. He dug his nails into the wood and grounded himself into the present. Naruto gritted out a deep breath before forming his next words.

"So...three years have gone by and things have changed. Obviously, they would change after the war. I know you wanted me to tell you what I remember but...it's probably best if you just tell me. Though before any of that, let's start with this." Naruto tapped his body. His body that wasn't producing chakra right. His body that wasn't healing his small wounds or big ones.

Tsunade nodded but a hand on her shoulder stopped her. She and Iruka exchanged looks before she spoke.

"Well Naruto, I guess I finally have an opportunity to do this." His smile was brightening as he spoke and his tone made even Kakashi shift. In front of his very eyes, Naruto watched as they all bowed...to him.

“Naruto, from the bottom of my heart and to the very core of my being, thank you for saving everyone during the war. Thank you, for so much!”

Naruto froze as they all politely bowed to him in one of the most intimate ways. He wasn't sure what to do here. His heart picked up.

"And I wanted to say...I'm sorry!" Iruka yelled out the last part. Regret and anguish toning his voice. Naruto almost got up to pick him up from bowing but stop out of fear of hurting him as he did with that villager. His movement made the cabinet squeak and then did Iruka look up. His face turned into something of awe as he took in Naruto, which made him squirm a bit.

"Your hair...really does change." Iruka breathed out. Naruto didn't know what that meant. But he was glad that it made the other two look up as well.

"There isn't anything to thank me for I was just doing what I felt was right..." Naruto closed his eyes as a way to hide from the looks he was getting but paused as he thought about what he just said.

' _But I'm not sure anymore of what I did.'_

 _“_ Iruka...tell me. How exactly did the war go?”

There was an intake of breath. Iruka seemed to smile but it struggled to stay there as thoughts rushed his head.

“I'm not saying I don't remember anything just...” Naruto trailed off as he tried to look from the intense gaze of Tsunade and Iruka only to meet the soft and caring gaze of Kakashi. There wasn't an escape from this new way they were looking at him and it was honestly making him uncomfortable. It felt like he was exposed, like his skin was see-through and they were looking at his very bones. He never liked making people worry about him, and ever since he woke up it seemed like all anyone did was look at him worriedly!

Naruto braced himself, and it was at this time that he told himself not to mention anything about the not-world. Anything about his long dream and other life. He didn't want anyone to freak out even more.

–

“When you left after our conversation I didn't stay behind. I couldn't...I couldn't let anyone fight alone.”

“The war we were fighting was against Obito, even if we didn't know his name in the beginning, and Madara.”

“So Madara was reanimated then." Naruto nodded. "Who else was?”

"Kabuto reanimated the fourth Hokage Minato," Kakashi said. He gazed at Naruto before chuckling to himself. "Minato was known as one of the most powerful shinobi as well as always being calm and collected even in battle. But that changed when he met you after coming back to life." Kakashi's gaze turned a bit saddened, but he hid it fast. Naruto knew that he was hiding it because Naruto was tired of seeing everyone gaze at him like that, and mentally gave his respect to Kakashi. "You...remember that he is your father, right?"

Naruto nodded to himself.

“Yeah, the first meeting didn't go so well. I was really upset with him, for what he did, and what he didn't do.”

"Aaaa~ I'm glad you remember that. He introduced himself as your father in the middle of the battlefield, and even I knew that wasn't such a bright idea, but he was so excited to see his one and only child. You, naturally-" Naruto felt as if Kakashi came over to put a supportive hand on his knee as he said 'naturally' just from the pointed look in his eyes. It was...surprising. "-were very upset. After he finished introducing himself he reached out to hug you and you punched him with all you got. In all my life I never would have thought that I would see Minato on his knees begging for forgiveness as someone lectured him in the middle of a deadly battle. Your mother would get angry at him sure, but he always had a way to smooth it over in a matter of seconds with his charm. It was quite funny, he tried so hard to get close to you. Well, maybe it wasn't completely funny. But when everyone was teaming up and he put a hand on your shoulder just for you to break it, I couldn't help but laugh at the face he made." Kakashi chuckled more to himself. Which was great, because it was sort of a rare occurrence beforehand to hear him laugh so much. He goofed around and sometimes made weird noises, but most of the time his laughter was more in a mocking sense, saying 'hahaha' while he did it. It was a bit, refreshing, Naruto thought. Really great.

What wasn't great was that that wasn't how he remembers meeting his dad at all. What the hell? In his memory, the first time he met the fourth was when he almost pulled the seal off of Kurama's cage, and he was sure he told Kakashi about that incident. Did he forget? Or maybe...it was Naruto who forgot. Naruto took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He pictured the face of the fourth Hokage. The way he looked and the way his voice sounded. He went to remember when he almost broke the seal but...it was blurry. Why was it blurry? This is how it happened, right? The memory in his head didn't seem as sharp as it should have been. He tried to remember where they were standing.

 _'Well, I am the one that named you. You are my son after all.'_ The words the fourth said came as clear as day as Naruto continued to picture his face. But the feeling of happiness left as he focused in the back.

_It was the battlefield._

Why was the battlefield behind Minato? They meet in his sub-conscience didn't they?

Naruto tried to remember how his mind looked when they meet, but he found he couldn't remember it anymore now that he saw the battlefield. He couldn't return there.

“Hey, I'm sorry for bringing it up. I wasn't sure if it was okay to mention it, was it...a mistake?”

Naruto opened his sharp blue eyes, and flicked them over to Kakashi. He was getting tired of this. Tired of being this confused. So he made a plan to try and not react to any more news until he had every detail. At this rate, he might have another breakdown, and another breakdown would mean more time in the unknown abyss he found himself in. The voice in the back of his head that wasn't the fox got louder and louder, saying things like 'is this reality? Alternate reality? Am I awake-' but he cut them off all at once. He took another, smaller breath.

"It's fine to bring him up. I was just thinking...of my feelings towards him." And he was. That wasn't a lie. If he remembered correctly he and the fourth made up so he could continue the battle. But that didn't mean his feelings towards everything changed. What kind of answer was 'I sealed a chakra monster in you because I knew you could deal with it' anyways? He was upset with such an answer, but didn't feel he had the time to go through it. But now that he was here, the repressed anger and hurt he had come rushing back.

"Say, what happened with him? Did we get to talk more at any time?" Kakashi looked ready to answer but Naruto interrupted himself. 

“Wait, that's not what I'm asking. That's not it at all. What I meant to ask was, did I accept the fourth as my dad, or did I continue hating him? Did we say goodbye?”

Everyone looked at him with wide eyes.

“Mmmm, well....the answer to that would probably be a no? It would depend on how you look at it I guess. You didn't want to have anything to do with him, no matter how hard he was trying. At one point you looked at him, and told him-

_'I won't forgive you. I won't forgive you for damning a child. I won't forgive you for abandoning me. You were supposed to be a genius shinobi, you could have found some way to make sure I didn't have to suffer. I'll work together with you, but only because I want to protect my precious people and you are not one of them. I won't love you just because you are my father. That's not how this works.'_

Naruto remembers that. The words tingling on his lips as he almost said them in time with Kakashi. He remembers looking back and saying that in the middle of the war. He felt like a part of his brain connected to something.

"Unfortunately, or fortunately? You didn't get to say goodbye to each other. However-" Kakashi gave a deep and sad sigh. "-I do have his goodbye for you. Whenever you want, I can tell you about it. Or if you rather not, then I'll forget it. Just know that there is no rush, and we can talk about what you want at any time."

Kakashi was getting major brownie points. Naruto made a mental note to go and eat with him at some point. He offered a small thank you that practically had Kakashi beaming before he moved to continue.

“So if The fourth was resurrected then all the other Hokage's were too?”

"Actually the only ones resurrected were the first, third, and the fourth. The second Hokage recognized what was happening and gain the willpower to honorably commit suicide to stay out of the war" 

Naruto squinted at that information but didn't ponder it further. 

"The cost of using the Edo Tensei is quite high and, quite cruel. Resurrecting others doesn't deplete your chakra for a fast death as some would think. Instead, it eats away at your sanity. A part of you is always given to the bodies, and the more you make the more you lose yourself. Kabuto had a vision, one that I would say was greater than Obito's plan. And that was to always carry out Orochimaru's ideals, even if Orochimaru wasn't around. Being his apprentice meant he had first-hand knowledge of all of Orochimaru's abilities. Whenever his sanity would start slipping or his mind would nearly break completely under the sheer weight of what he was doing, he would shed his skin and make a brand new body with no problem. He, in every sense of the word, perfected Orochimaru's technique." Tsunade shook her head before Kakashi took back over. 

"He made a horrifying enemy. I remember standing at the edge of the battlefield facing him. I saw him bring his hands to his head and claw off his own flesh as that ability took its toll. His laugh rang out, and I still get goosebumps thinking about it. His confidence was terrifying. He was dubbed the 'Perfect Enemy' by some people." Kakashi shivered as he recalled the distortion of a person with a strong will for death. The absolute chaos of it all. Naruto tried to store away the information he just learned. Not realizing Kabuto played such an important part in the war and trying to push down the weird sensation in his stomach as the conversation continued. 

"Besides the first, third, and fourth Hokage, others came." Iruka continued. 

"Madara, right?" The air became heavy at the name again. 

"Yes, Madara. He truly devastated our numbers. It was a blessing that my grandfather was there to distract him, or way more casualties would have followed." Tsunade took a deep inhale for the next line. "Now then, the other people resurrected were Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Fugaku-”

“Wait, Fugaku?" Naruto stopped her. His mind picking up. "That's...Sasuke's father, right?” He had only heard that name twice in his life, along with the other.

"Yes, he was." there was a tight and solemn nod. 

"When the war started nobody knew what to expect or just how powerful the people on the other side would be either. Obito and Kabuto worked in tandem to create an opposing force to end all they came across. I'm not sure if you remember Zetsu, the plant-like man."

"Yeah, he had an ability to split apart and form a 'white Zetsu' and a 'black Zetsu.'"

"Mhm, Unfortunately for us, our formation plans were found out by the intel gathering skills of Zetsu, if not that, it was an idea about who was going where. So Kabuto, in the last strain of sanity he had, formed his own task forces to go after our different formation groups. He didn't care about who lead what group or who all were fighting, he just wanted to win. So, an Uchiha lead each force, all renowned, and all with a Sharingan. Itachi when alive originally got Shisui's Sharingan. The one Shisui got came from the arm of Danzo, whom Kabuto was able to track down and steal a couple of eyes back.

"So....so then the war-"

"Was a war against the Uchiha's." 

Naruto sat stunned in silence. 

"What about Sasuke?" He searched everyone's faces before the outside voice spoke up.

"I'll tell you about that, Naruto-kun." Time seemed to compress around the side of his eyes at Sakura's voice. The shadow of her walking to the door overtaking Kakashi. He saw her right hand first and a thousand different versions overlayed his vision. And then she was there. And she was as beautiful as always. Taking her in was amazingly enough like intaking a breath he didn't know he needed. She was young again. He noticed how her eyes had a shine in them that seemed genuine. Her bangs weren't covering her forehead, but instead framed the diamond seal that sat there, and she seemed to be keeping her know long again hair in a braid thrown over her shoulder. Naruto couldn't take his eyes off of her face. She looked back at him with wide, almost amazed eyes. But she was young now, she didn't have the lines coming into her face, she was young-

And she looked happy.

Naruto then came to the realization that the Sakura in the not-world never looked as happy as this Sakura looked right now. And the mental hit he took to the chest was devastating. And that was because the not-world Sakura was the one he created. He made the rocky relationship with Sakura and her child. He made Sakura, a formidable and up and coming Shinobi and apprentice of Tsunade a stay at home housewife. He made Sakura marry Sasuke in a loveless relationship where Sakura took care of their child all by herself. He did that. He has over their adventures grown to value, rely upon, and most importantly trust Sakura, and what did he do to show that? It was like he killed her. Why did he do that? He loved her, right?

As Naruto's eyes traced over Sakura's face his breathing picked up. What sort of friend was he? To do that to someone he loved.

The room shook as Naruto unconsciously tried to form Chakra only to have it explode before it could stick and create shock waves. His throat felt sore and his hair was once again lifted and turned stark white. Naruto brought his one arm up to clutch at his chest.

"Naruto-kun!" He heard Sakura yell his name in such a painfully familiar way, over and over again. His trembling gaze was trained on the floor at her feet. He saw her, wearing sandals like Tsunade, take a step forward into the room.

"Don't you...come in here." Naruto abruptly stood up. The words came up low and biting. As cold as a blizzard. He looked her square in the eyes, his teammate that he hurt, and she didn't know just how much he hurt her. He couldn't forgive himself. She brought her hands up in a gasp as she looked at him. Her face a mirage of emotions. Kakashi had his hands on her shoulders in a surprising movement of not letting her get closer rather than to protect her.

' _It's almost like he is protecting me'_

It was all too tense, but then Sakura's face smoothed over, into that new painful look that everyone has been giving him. Naruto nearly faltered over himself as she _bowed_ , polity to him.

"Sorry Naruto-kun, I, for a second, forgot you didn't want people in this area. I lost control of myself, and I hope I didn't upset you too much with my actions." She smoothly took one big step backward, back outside, and stood there with her hands folded in front of her. Her face, while a little pitched, smiled a beaming smile at him. A real, apologetic but lovely smile. Naruto felt his aggressive stance relax, and it wasn't until his face relaxed that he realized just how awful of a snarl he had on his face. By the pain in his brow and lips, he had the snarl on for longer than he realized.

Naruto didn't want to bite at Sakura. The overwhelming guilt he was feeling crushed his temples, but he didn't want to do more harm to Sakura. So he took in a deep breath and held it in. He cleared his mind, and after seven seconds let his breath out and relaxed more.

"You don't have anything to apologize for ya know?" Naruto wanted to give a backward, lopsided smile, but found that he couldn't. He was slowly becoming more and more numb. Instead, he just tilted his head and hoped that what he was trying to convey would come through the static going on in his head. He made a glance over to Iruka and Tsunade and barely caught Tsunade hurriedly taking a seat to make it look like she wasn't standing up just a second ago. It would have worked if she didn't nearly miss and clank the chair on the ground, but she sat there, straight-faced, and Naruto nearly laughed. He didn't know what he would be laughing at, though.

Naruto's attention shifted back to Sakura who went to say something more but went into her thinking stance instead. Naruto took this chance.

"So, the war then, was about the resurrection of the Uchiha Clan." His eyes narrowed as he thought about all the pain and torment Sasuke must have gone through, and he desperately wanted to know about Sasuke. He really did. Even in the Not-World, he was the happiest when Sasuke was there, next to him. He remembered smiling only when Sasuke was there. At feeling at ease only with Sasuke. It feeling like he was actually in his body with Sasuke. For most of his time in that place, he felt as though a dark heavy veil was placed on his body at all times. Weighing him down. But whenever Sasuke, his best friend, would come that veil was lifted. He felt like he could breathe and move and see.

_'I...really want to see him.'_

But, something inside hurt. He wanted Sakura to tell him where Sasuke was and to bring him here, and there lies the problem.

That being if Sasuke wasn't in the village right now.

He woke up in a strange but familiar place and he was so confused it was painful.

' _I want to see him.'_

Having him here would make Naruto feel better. Would make it feel like he wasn't losing his sanity here and about to chip apart into a million pieces that nobody would be able to pick up in a hundred years.

_**'I'm, scared.'** _

He was scared. He felt like at any second he was going to throw up. His head felt like a vice was put on it and someone kept turning the handle and cranking his temples harder and harder. He was scared and unsure. And it's because of that, because of these emotions that he didn't want to talk to know what Sasuke was doing right now. In case it turned out that Sasuke was gone, that he left the village again, or that _he never even came back._

He was going to have to tread carefully.

“Who was our main opponent?” His question came.

" It sounds like Kabuto had his hand in making new enemies, but defeating him wouldn't be that hard to do, for the allied nations. You would just have to wait until he was in the middle of shedding himself and strike then” He looked into Kakashi's eyes.

“Was it Obito, then?” He said the name carefully, gently. Kakashi didn't react negatively.

“Aa, Obito. You remember him.”

“ I remember all the problems he caused.” This earned him a smile from everyone.

“But, it wasn't Kaguya, huh.” It wasn't a question. He wanted to focus on Sakura, so he didn't have to look at the pained and confused faces he knew would come. But the image of another her still lingered like a gentle layer around her. He decided to pace instead. He took note that his foot still hurt.

 _"Kaguya wasn't here. And instead of fighting those guys, it was a battle of the Uchiha. It must have been the hardest battle for Sasuke. That also means I didn't face off against anyone from the Ōtsutsuki clan. None of those guys existed here. Then the main enemy, who was the one behind it all?"_ Naruto murmured to himself as he moved. The pacing helping his brain move through thoughts. He stopped quickly and swung around to Kakashi.

“Madara.” He took a step, and then began to walk purposefully to Kakashi as his mind kept going. “Madara, Madara Madara Madara, it was Madara wasn't it?” Naruto leaned in close to Kakashi's face.

"It was that guy, who was the main enemy. He wanted to make a peaceful world so he targeted Obito to help carry out his Tsuki no Mei plan. He made Obito resurrect his siblings then and use them to fight! All so he could force people into his make-belief world of peace and love. It was Madara, wasn't it!" Naruto hadn't realized how close he was to Kakashi now. Didn't take note of Kakashi's eye-widening, the dark color swirling as he took in all of Naruto's face and expression. He didn't even notice how Kakashi's hands went up, trembling, like he wanted to desperately touch Naruto. And he did. Naruto gasped as a warm tingling sensation entered his arm. Out of reflex he stepped back, after all this time still not used to human contact. Kakashi's hand followed before he, as well, stepped back, gathering control of himself and snapping himself out of it. But he wasn't quick enough to hide his emotions. And it hurt Naruto. All of this hurt him so deeply. Everyone has been constantly giving him painful, heartfelt, agonizing expressions. He never saw them like at him in his whole lifetime. In any of his lifetimes! What was he supposed to do? Why did it hurt so much to be gazed at like this? He hated seeing his loved ones look like this. He wanted to get stronger so his precious people would never be able to make a sad expression, ever! Even if he was unsure of which world was which. And yet...and yet..here it was...

Fist balled, teeth gritted, Naruto's body moved on its own.

The sound of his forehead slamming against Kakashi's was loud, and he was sure that he probably hurt the other man, but he put his only hand on the back of Kakashi's head and kept him there as he pressed their foreheads together and stayed there. Naruto didn't know the right words to use, anymore. Didn't know what to say to these people. But he wouldn't let anyone be so upset because of him and not know that he still cared....that he was still with them. Naruto remembered seeing animals do this often enough, and it wasn't as invading as a hug would be, whatever hug could be made out of someone with one arm.

After a few moments, in which he was sure to press extra hard against the other head, Naruto let go and stalked over to Tsunade and Iruka, leaving Kakashi behind him and refusing to look at him.

“Do you have a collection of all that happened in the war written down? Would I be able to borrow it, and read it?”

They both stood up and looked at each other. Naruto saw Tsunade eyeing Kakashi up out of the corner of his eyes.

"There have been reports made, and a scroll has been started by scholars and a priestess to record and log it into the Great Library of Hayamichi. They already visited the Kages, and now they go around and bless soldiers and offer to take down their stories."

Naruto nodded. “Something like that won't be done for a while then.”

“Yes,” Tsunade said stepping up. “But we can get you something better. Something more personal.” Naruto tilted his head, which got them both smiling.

"I'll get a top-notch Shinobi, someone who already has knowledge of all that has happened and has specific knowledge of the leaf Shinobi during the war and have them write you a book on everything."

Iruka and Naruto both looked at her with wide eyes.

“My lady, you don't mean...” Sakura trailed off from the other side of the room.

"Yes, I will get Nara Shikamaru on this case immediately!" The Hokage looked more than please and entirely pumped up at her deceleration. Naruto, too, felt joy at the name of his advisory. Even in the Not-World, Shikamaru was a trusted Shinobi and great friend. He looked at Tsunade, who was giving a hearty and loud laugh and felt happy at the thought of getting help from the smart man. His chest felt lighter, and his mood was improving quickly.

_w̨͑a͇̩̓̄i͓̿t̼͓̼̮̊̓͗̿_

He was happy. He was happy to be getting somewhere. But...

Naruto looked down at his hand. Looked down at his cold flesh.

He was missing something. The walls of this room as been sinking, like a force was breathing it in but never exhaling. Something needed to be said that no one was saying. It hung so heavy that the ceiling seemed to cave in. He looked to Sakura, looked her straight in the eyes.

_Itneedstobesaid it needstobesaid_

"Where is Sasuke?" he will try in one way. See how it goes. Sakura didn't look sad at the mention of their old teammate.

“He's gone.”

_Why the hell don't you look sad at saying that-_

“He went out to find a cure...for you.”

“...what?...What?” Naruto questioned. It caught him so off guard he said it twice. Sakura looked ready.

"You're coma...well we...." she was faltering. But, with a tremendous effort, steeled herself. Everyone else stood up slowly.

“Naruto, you sacrificed yourself for us.” The words were said with such a deep and heavy undertone that Naruto knew he could have his whole lifetime and more would never be able to forget it.

“You went to war, and you fought, and you _shared_ you Chakra with thousands of Shinobi. You gave it to say many. You separated yourself into clones and traveled hundreds of miles and those clones used every technique you knew to keep everyone safe and you knew. You knew what you were doing. You were in such agony doing it but you still fought with a smile on your face while showing all the Allied Nations something that was never seen in their lifetime. Your actions on that field will go down in history and be passed down from generation to generation...haha, I mean, your jutsu's know have a spot in the forbidden scroll But... You...had no intention of coming out of that war."

Naruto wasn't sure what his heart was doing, it felt like it was beating to fast and to slow. The heavy feeling of the room moving to live in his chest.

“You knew you had more Chakra then anyone on that field, and you decided to use it all, to save everyone.”

w͚̔ḁ̬̙̥̃͋͘͞i̱͒t͉̪͍̦̲͚̒̔̒͆̔̔

"You knew, as you burn through your reserves and the nine tail's chakra, that you were permanently destroying your very self. That using too much would burn you from the inside out. That using too much too fast would eat at you kill you. No one can give away so much and live and I...even I in the middle of the battle...it didn't hit just how wrong it all was. We all sat in awe and horror. You knew of all of this and you still fought and saved people and although it was slim you took that chance anyways knowing that if you lived, the consequences would be tremendous."

w͕͝a̹̙̦̜̞̳͊͊̈̿͂̏ȋ̥̖̖̥͕̮̼͖́̾͐̾̓͒͋t̖̳͙̔̍̃͊ͅ

"I remember you, smiling up at me. And then you disappeared. I wish I knew what your true intentions were that entire time. I really do wish for that. You fought a terrible war and saved everyone and used the last of your strength to teleport yourself away because you knew what was coming. You knew that if you purged all your charka and the Kyuubi's would erode at your system and that by doing so, there was a chance that any underlying Uzumaki chakra had a possibility to come up, and reside in your burned out veins. But doing so would be a painful, violent, and combustible. So you left. You left us." Sakura's emotions came to a high, as her voice hitched and her hands and shoulders shook. Kakashi put a hand on her shoulder as she struggled to keep control of all the feelings she kept down for the past 3 years. Now that she was face to face with Naruto, it was a lot harder not to break down. Naruto saw this all but he was somewhere far away. She didn't need to say more, for he knew. The memories of the things he did came rising and he almost puked. He knew what he did.

“You teleported yourself to a location you already had picked out when it was time.” Iruka's calm voice almost made Naruto come back to the present.

"You barricaded yourself in a cave formation and summoned a toad to seal you off from others as your body went through a vicious cycle of your chakra reserves eroded to nothing," Tsunade spoke up next.

"To protect us after protecting us! We could barely find you! I thought...I didn't know what to think!" That was the biggest outburst Sakura had thus far. But Kakashi was the one to wrap it all up.

"You went to go find Sasuke, who didn't want to fight in the war. It was too painful for him to see his family resurrected and you knew it. And after that, you went to go fight on the front lines, and with your shadow clones, it was like you were fighting 50 wars at once. You made a decision and went through with it. You should have died. But the only reason you didn't die a traumatic and painful death was because of your sage mode. It was still activated when you left, and it...preserved you to put it simply. Anyone's chakra nervous system would cause them to have a massive heart attack in such a state but, you kept natural energy coursing through you while also being at such a calm state, yours still beat as your charka misfired. In essence, you slowed what should have been a quick death into one that would span over the years, but, since it was coming out so slowly your chances of survival increased by some. Now that your chakra wasn't shooting out of you at great increments. So you did it. " Kakashi looked away. "Locked away all alone, as your body fought against you."

"We believe that the state of your....tenant helped you as well. Though we would have to examine you now to be sure of our hypothesis."

"Numerous Shinobi found out what you did, and some told us that there was a way to restore, or soothe someone's damage Chakra nervous system. And Sasuke took that. You should have seen him. He staid outside of your barrier and didn't move. And when he heard of a promising lead he took it, but not before getting you out, and bring you home." The bitterest of all bitter smiles bloomed on Sakura's face. It was tangent.

“He left to go follow the lead, however small it may be. All the Sasuke said was that he didn't want you to be in pain when you woke up. He wanted to help you.”

Naruto sat with static. It was just static, rising through his throat. In his veins, his brain. He could feel everything about himself. Like he was trying to leave his body but his skin wouldn't let him. He thrummed under it like a balloon. He looked down at himself, at his clothes and legs. His feet disappeared as he got bigger and rounder. His limbs contorting as he was blown full of air. Even with himself extending he still felt like he didn't have any room. He stretched and stretched as the air filling him pushed out all thoughts and feelings. There was nothing. Nothing. Empty pages and empty pages until...he popped.

Layers and layers of life fell onto him. He felt smaller now. He stared at nothing as it came back to him. The pieces of the war he just learned replacing the moments of the not world he came from, but still leaving a few out that nothing fit just right. A jigsaw puzzle of just corner pieces. He inhaled,

_ha_

And exhaled.

He was still in the room. Those four were still around him. Nothing in the room changed like he, in the back of his mind, thought it would. A bubble of relief went popped in his head. He looked down to the ground to see where the pieces of him went from were he exploded were, but nothing was there. He thought he would see the old him, or the young him...Any other him, to be scattered about. But it was just a dark wood floor. Nothing on it.

He tried to sacrifice himself.

He remembered what he said. What he said to his loved ones before.

“A boy born as a human sacrifice will not feel the burden of another sacrifice.”

He said it out loud. Startling the others. He looked to Sakura's face, full of sadness. He hated being the cause of sadness. But,

"I don't feel regret. I don't feel sorry. To me, it was the right thing to do. The logical, thing to do." His past tried to step forward in his mind. He never talked about his experience as a Jinchuuriki. It felt like it would all tumble out.

“I won't regret it.”

“We know.” Iruka's soft voice came close to him. He was standing a little further in the door now. That didn't matter so much though. What mattered was the deep understanding that laid in his eyes. There was nothing under there beside it, maybe a little sadness and compassion.

“I know you did what you-what you knew was right, Naruto. I know you looked at all the suffering and deaths and knew you could do something so no one had to suffer anymore. I know...what you felt.” Tears were in the corner of Iruka's eyes and looking at those hazel gems Naruto felt all the exhaustion he was putting away hit him at once. His knees would have buckled then if he could move at all. He was heavy. His head stung.

"Right!" Tsunade clapped her hands together startling everyone. "That's enough for today. There were a lot of things said, and it wouldn't do to pile on more when we still haven't fully processed the rest. So I'm calling it for now!" She smiled and winked at Naruto and he mentally gave her a hug and a drink. Sakura's brow furrowed in protest though, and nobody really made a quick move to leave. Naruto realized they were waiting on him.

"haa, yeah. I have a headache. I want to lay down for a bit." Iruka stepped forward, making the floorboards creak. Naruto looked down to were he was standing.

"Oh? Oh! Aha, oh sorry about that! I got caught up in the moment, haha!" He scratched the scar on his nose as he comically backed up out of the room quite quickly. He accidentally hit the side of the door and nearly knocked over the Hokage in his scramble, looking more and more flushed. Naruto bit back a smile as he watched Iruka hide his face in his hands and turn away while the others giggled.

"Alright, I'll leave you to rest, and by rest-please don't go running off," Tsunade said in a pleading voice, but still somehow threatening. "There is some medication in these drawers here, and some food and drink in that small fridge, I'll have someone bring you more. I'm giving you 12 hours of rest time before I came to check up on you, alright?"

Naruto nodded and everyone became more relaxed. Kakashi was the first to leave, bidding him a good night and he waited for Sakura, who made full eye contact with him, bowed, and followed suit. Iruka did the same, though instead of bowing he gave Naruto a big smile and awkward thumbs up. When he turned to leave Naruto saw that smile drop and turn into a sad expression. He didn't say anything. Tsunade was last. She opened her mouth before pausing and closing it.

"Hm, there is some headache medicine in the second drawer to the left end, and you know." She paused, looked around, and pulled a small container out of her chest. "This stuff right here works stronger, plus you can still drink alcohol with it nooo problem~" She closed her eyes to smile and at that moment Naruto strode forwards, grabbed her shoulders, and put his forehead against hers. There was a gasp, and Naruto felt her begin to tremble, so he pushed his head on hers harder and slowly moved in back and forth. He stayed like that, thinking if he remembers animals doing anything else to comfort each other, before remembering all the times he shared with this person. He took a deep breath, contemplating before Tsunade pulled back, placed a quick kiss to his forehead, and put the pills in his hand. She was gone then. Walking fast down the hallway, not looking back.


	5. Dew on Green Leaf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: CHAPTER HAS BEEN RE-UPLOAD AND SMALL CHANGED ADDED  
> Thank you for being patient for this chapter!  
> Chapter characters seen- Tsunade, Naruto, Shikamaru.  
> Chapter Characters mentioned- Kurama.  
> As always, if I made any mistakes please let me know so I can fix it! I thank you all a lot!

Naruto laid in the hospital bed in silence, though he didn't know if a hospital bed is what you would call it. He has been in the hospital many times in his life but, this room was different. When he settled in he felt how soft the mattress was and how it curved around his body. The pillow was more delicate than any pillow he has ever had. Naruto glanced at the plaid wool blanket at the foot of the bed though, and debated moving it to the chair.

"It's so hot."

The bed was definitely the best bed he had ever laid on, but he couldn't enjoy it to its fullest. The humidity in the room has gotten unbearable in the quiet hours he had settled in. The gentle touch of the bed would have swept him away into a deep slumber but now the very heat of it on his back was far too uncomfortable. Naruto wanted to stretch his legs out, but touching the blanket on the bottom was too much at the moment. He was left in bed, desperately chasing the wind from the overhead fan.

_'I can't sleep.'_

The crochet of crickets outside and shrill of the evening cicadas sung the song of the night. When Naruto shut his eyes, the sounds seemed to echo and get louder to the point that the occasional clink of the fan began to grate on the nerves.

"Nn, my head!" Naruto cried out in solitude.

But it wasn't even just his head, everything hurt! His head, his body, his flesh, and very bones. The stump that was all that was left of his arm _burned_ and chilled at the same time, weighing more than the rest of him combined. The loss was as massive as a coffin. Naruto was stuck in bed, too in pain and heavy to get up. His knees swayed side to side in a fruitless way to keep them cool. Everything was to still. Naruto ignored the wetness in the corner of his eyes and tried to take in more of his room. However everything was building like a climax, and every little thing was becoming too much. Even the dim light up above scorched like a sun. Naruto threw an arm over his eyes and sucked in some shaky breathes, trying to calm himself. He hated this feeling, of being in pain with no physical wound. Naruto tapped into the meditation technique he learned from Sage mode and hoped deeply that it would work in place of the medicine he was given that he couldn't reach at the moment. Thanking whatever that could hear when it started working, and the sounds of the world faded like a radio being turned down. Everything turned dead silent. He knew immediately he shouldn't have done that. It felt like he could hear the earth itself breathe. Naruto closed his eyes tight, knowing just exactly _why_ it was deafening.

"Kurama?"

The name came out in a whispered hush with a tone of knowing no one would answer. The great fox demon inside of him, wasn't awake. He wasn't there. A small bitter bubble of a laugh came up in his throat at the true shot of irony of the situation. The fox demon sealed inside of him as a human sacrifice left him alone in his life, but at the same time, was the only thing there with him. The only constant by his side, and Naruto only came to notice it when Kurama was exhausted into a deep terrible sleep. It was like hearing how silent a house was when the furnace turned off and you realized how much white noise it created in the background. The sound of Kurama was like a quiet rumble, like someone else's breathing right after his own and the more distraught he was the more it heightened into after the battle ended, and the ringing in his ears settled down like a storm lingering away.

It was an almost funny thought, what people would think if he said that he missed that fox so damn much. They might lock him up for alluding to feel so many emotions for a demon like that.

_'Kurama...that guy. He always stole my body heat leaving me cold at all times, and now that he isn't awake I feel too damn hot. It's suffocating... it hurts. It's painful-'_

"It's painful-being this alone."

The small voice cracked in the night. He wished that there was someone here, that the fox was still awake so he could take away the pain he felt. To heal a part of him he couldn't identify. Just to have someone there. Naruto bit his lip hard as a couple of tears fell out, he wouldn't be surprised if his hot skin evaporated them before they could roll down his face.

"Kurama, you helped me save the people I cared about, even though you hated them. Please, please wake up soon so I can thank you." Naruto clutched his stomach as he spoke, hoping beyond hope that his words would get through somehow.

A soft tapping on the window echoed loud in the quiet night making him flinch. Naruto looked to see a silhouette outside, one with a ponytail that he knew all too well.

"Naruto? Are-are you still awake?" It was Iruka back again. He sounded out of breath and nervous as he stuttered without thinking about it. The shadow moved. "I brought Ichiraku ramen if you want? Can I...come in?"

Naruto struggled against the agony overlaying his body and the heavy ache in his head.

"No."

He would love to see Iruka right now but, a lot was going on in his mind right now. He was also afraid...what if Iruka wasn't who he thought he was exactly. Did he really know the man outside the window? To his relief, the other didn't sound mad.

"That's alright, I'll just leave this here for you to eat when you're ready!"

Naruto could practically see Iruka's smile when he held up the bag of food for him to see and something inside him rippled. Naruto tore himself out of bed and was upon the only thing dividing them. The noise of the chair clattering when he dug his knee into it made both of them freeze. Gently, with oh so carefully hands, Naruto turned up the lock and eased open the window a tiny crack, just enough for the food to be able to be put in. A cold wind blew in the open way and it all but slapped him across the face. For a second he had fear grip his heart of who was on the other side. Which Iruka would it be? What...world is he in?

That question followed him like a casket. Is this place a dream as well? What if this Iruka was just a dream Iruka. What if the other world- what if...

_'I don't want to get close to anything here, no matter how great it seems. What will I do if it is ripped away just like the last one.'_

Iruka, not knowing how deep the inner turmoil the other was experiencing, lifted the bag into the window to drop it on the desk below it. He chimed a soft 'there you go' and Naruto studied his hand. It was tan, with a couple of scars from teaching inexperienced children how to throw Kunai. It looked like he was chewing his nails again, something he only did when something was really haunting his mind. The was barely anything left on his thumbnail. Naruto's eyes unfocused as an afterimage of that hand at different times overlapped. From wearing a suit for a wedding, to patting Naruto's head, to reaching out to catch something. The hand, in the present, began to let go of the bag. Naruto felt panic for some reason and before Iruka could retract completely, Naruto grabbed onto his sleeve and held it in his touch. He rubbed the fabric with his thumb, staring hard at the dark blue, coarse material. Iruka didn't move, probably didn't expect him to do that. Well, Naruto wasn't expecting to do that either. But he couldn't hide from his instincts, the instincts to seek comfort in the first person to call out to him as a child. The first person to go out of their way to comfort him when he needed it. The first-to see him as a human.

No thoughts traveled in his head as Naruto's hand drifted downwards to Iruka's skin, cool from the night air. It may not be a big deal to most, but physical contact always seemed intimate and dear to him, even just holding hands with someone. It made his heart race and his stomach flutter. It didn't happen often, or even sometimes, to touch someone's skin and it not be in a fight.

The Not-World flashed behind blue eyes as Naruto realized he couldn't recall ever being touched or delicately touching Hinata, or at all. Even though she was his...wife. Naruto worried his bottom lip and to run from the thoughts, he leaned his head down and touched his forehead on the back of Iruka's hand. It was cold, a lot colder than his shirt. It felt so nice against heated skin that Naruto let out a content sigh, the soft touch all he needed to focus on.

_'I wonder if I'm weak to soft and kind touches. Too bad I never experienced them frequently enough to know.'_

Iruka's knuckles extended and prodded his forehead as, ever so slowly, the finger wrapped lightly around his own that was still holding the hand. The hand, the fingers, every touch, swipe, or pet they ever gave him filled Naruto with a different kind of warmth. Something that settled high in his chest and made him a little light-headed. Closing his eyes again Naruto counted and recounted the fingers wrapped around his hand. The world didn't seem so big and the noises so loud at the moment. He wasn't high away and out of his body anymore, but inside the body of his, sitting in a chair, letting the steam and scent of fresh ramen drift up towards him. It was the most bliss he felt in a long long while.

He could have stayed like that, but prolong human contact made him uneasy, so Naruto made a move to carefully let Iruka go, only for it to be Iruka's turn to clutch back on and speak in a shaky but comforting voice.

"I'm so glad you are back Naruto. I...don't ever want to lose you again. Not if I can do something about it. Not if I can do things differently."

The deep certainty in his voice prevented Naruto from saying anything back. He just watched silently as Iruka retracted completely and bid him a final 'good night' and leave in an instant. Disturbing some leaves on the ground with the speed of his jump. Naruto waited a moment before opening the door fully and taking out the food from the bag. The ramen tasted good, and if a tear slipped into the bowl the broth would be too salty to tell. Besides that, Naruto would be the only one to know, as the leaves and the moon were his only companion.

–

' _Why don't you wake up?'_

_'Please don't do this!'_

_'_ _ **I'**_ _m_ **H** _e_ _ **R**_ e'

–

"Ah!" Naruto jolted awake from the weird and disturbing dream, filled with memories he was having. Just a little bit too realistic that the fog didn't leave him mind right away and a headache persisted in his frontal lobe. His legs hurt. Looking down he came to realize that he fell asleep curled up on the chair he was eating in instead of the bed. Naruto unstuck his skin from the wood and stretched his legs out, hearing and feeling them crack and pop.

"~ _mmmmm_ ahh. Man, I finally get to sleep only to have dreams that made me feel like I never slept at all." Naruto pouted a little, still feeling insanely groggy. He went to check the time, thinking that the tiredness in his body meant he only slept four hours or so. But checking the time he actually slept for _ten_ hours. Naruto sucked in a breath.

"She'll be back in two hours then, huh?" Glancing out the window he thought of what Tsunade said. As he watched, it seemed like the whole wall seemed to expand and grow bigger as he was rooted to the spot. The window enlarged to look more like an open door and Naruto, had a very brief thought of simply running off into the woods, where he would wait until he felt like he sorted things out, surrounded by trees and not people. He looked down to the floor, which appeared to stretch at his very feet.

Running away felt like a good idea, it made him even feel a little safe, but, he couldn't do that. Not with Tsunade's pained and pleading eyes haunting his vision. He had to stay, for now.

The room was starting to make him feel nauseous so Naruto stumbled his way to the door, feeling like the floor was going to rip out from underneath him at any second. _He stepped down the little dip and stood barefoot in the wet dewy grass. A long bird call made him look up in time to see the shadows move off the all too familiar faces on the mountain. The Hokage Monument, without him on it. It felt all too strange, especially with vivid memories of standing on his own stone head overlooking the village he ruled._

_"Or-" with a sickening start, "did I ever really rule it?"_

_Naruto closed his eyes as he painfully tried to remember any of the paperwork he seemed to be stuck with at all times. The image of him standing in the office still felt fresh but whenever he tried to focus on the lines of any of the papers he had it was all blurry. He couldn't recall reading a damn thing. Like his actions in the Not-World were just automatic. The other him missed his own child's birthday for paperwork and he couldn't even remember why. Naruto opened his eyes under the intense gaze of all the Hokages looking down on him._

"Is this place...really my home? Did I...dream everything or did I go back in time? Is this place even real? The people act so differently here-"

_'But I acted differently there.'_

Self-loathing started to fill him up like water in a jug. Naruto thought of all the things he did wrong now that he could look back on it all. Just how much of an awful person was he? His own son hated him, and that hurt Naruto deeply. He took a deep breath and dug his nails into his stump of an arm, feeling like tears were coming on. He was so alone, so tired of being pushed away, he just wanted to belong somewhere. And he did _that_ to what he thought was his family. Ignore them so often-just like he was ignored-to the point that his kids, a piece of him, were upset with him. The self-loathing filled to the very top of his body and a cork was put in, insuring that this feeling would never spill out, never leave him. He wouldn't forgive himself for his actions, or lack thereof.

Not wanting any tears to fall Naruto looked back up into the gazes of stone. He thought about his dream, and how he achieved it. Being the Hokage was his dream for a very very long time, and anyone who ran into him knew of it since he shouted his intentions any chance he got, as if saying it enough would will it into reality. It was strange though, that not many people asked why or even, what he was going to do once he achieved it. Naruto's eyes strayed over to the Third Hokage.

_He remembered the moment he got his dream, standing in the old man Hokage's office after he got into a fight with a Chuunin. The adult passed him when he was wandering the streets after getting yelled at by a street vendor for just existing to close near his cart. Little Naruto tried hard to curl in himself, and try not to take up too much space so people wouldn't yell at him. That's when the Chunnin dropped down to where Naruto was at from the rooftops not noticing him. The second their gazes met hatred filled the older man's face. Such unbridled disgust that Naruto snapped and entrapped the guy's legs with his arms, demanding why he was looking at him in such a way. The whole thing didn't go well and Naruto ended in the Hokage's office with a beat-up face and a few sniffles._

_The old man Hokage gazed at him with a long tired look that he always seemed to have when Naruto was around-so painful to be the recipient of he might have traded it for those hated looks instead, before turning to the window._

_'You see all these people, Naruto?' his voice old, gravelly from smoking and stress, a lot different from the booming voice of a leader he normally wears. This change did not comfort Naruto._

_"I am their leader. No matter what happens, big or small, they want to come to me for guidance and protection. Many people will view the leader of their village as a stable guardian, and will ask for their view and advice on many things. From war and enemies, to where would be the best place to set up stalls for festivals. They will come and ask for anything, but, not many people ask their leader how they view their people. All these people, Naruto-" he pointed a long boney finger straight ahead to the window, "-Everyone, from children to adults, civilians and the fine Shinobi that protect them, they are all my family. I care about them all deeply, and see them as my children and I, their parent. And sometimes I need to make decisions that will hurt a few, but help the most." Do you understand this, Naruto?"_

Closing his eyes from the memory of the old Hokage turning to face him, Naruto plunked his head against the door frame as a bitter feeling lingered on his tongue. Back then, he _didn't_ understand it at all. To him, it sounded like the old man was sticking up for the Chuunin that got into a fight with him. Calling that guy his family. The old man didn't seem to understand, or notice just how much he was hurt. He didn't hear what that guy said, how he called Naruto a 'fucking fox in human skin.' This was around the time that Naruto started to view the old man differently, didn't keep him up on the pedestal that everyone else had him on. Instead of the nation famed warrior who lived a thousand wars, Naruto saw him as an old, bitter looking man who longed to move on into the afterlife. Brittle bones wrapped around a steel heart.

But Naruto did conclude, back then. He thought that, if he became Hokage people would start to see him differently. They would look at him like family and come to like him, maybe even love him. And Naruto would be able to say he has a family as well, and what better a family than a whole village, countless people. He would become the Hokage, and people would treat him better, like him more. And no one, nowhere would ever dare to look at a Kage with hatred or disgust in their eyes. They would look at him like they look at the old man, and that thought sent Naruto's soul flying.

Leaning his head back more a small chuckle escaped his throat at the absurdity of it all. That was just the beginning, and his reason for becoming Hokage evolved and adapted over time as he found out more about the horrors that lived inside the walls he was encaged in. Naruto, at some point, eventually accepted the fact that the villagers would most likely never view him as family, even if he did become Hokage, and he accepted that a long time ago. Though...

_'If it came down to a choice, between becoming a leader or gaining a family, of course, I would pick having a family.'_

Naruto turned back into the room away from the sunlight. It wouldn't do to be in a foul mood when Tsunade came back, least she asks questions, so he decided he would busy himself away from his thoughts until then. Naruto was going to explore every nook and cranny of the place in his room.

"Well, I guess it really is my room now, since I claimed it in front of everybody." Naruto cringed and for the first time thanked his lack of arm, fore he smack himself in the face.

Starting with the back left corner behind the folding screen, Naruto found a closet he didn't notice before tucked into the wall. Walking in, he saw just how spacious it really was. There was a wall full of clothing hanging up on one wall and shelved upon shelves of folded clothing on the other. Near the back wall was a Kimono Hanger with a detailed kimono displaying beautiful koi fish on it. It looked fancy and well-tailored. In the folden piled there was a great assortment of tops and bottoms ranging from different styles. From coarse material to fine silk. Going over to the hanging sections Naruto found numerous dresses, Yutaka, and more kimono and Haori. What was most interesting, Naruto thought as he approached the kimono hanger, is that all these clothes seemed to be around his size, like they were made for _him._ He wondered what they were all here for. Maybe for any injured person who comes here with destroyed clothes. Before walking out, Naruto tried to open a small sliding door in the back but found it locked, so he went over to the medical cabinet outside the closet.

Beside the cabinet, there was a small fridge with a few bottles of water and can tea, but not much food. In one of the cabinets, he found more bottles of water as well as a change of hospital clothes, bandages, and medical equipment. Naruto hasn't found the bathroom yet, if there was one, and become confused before remembering.

_'Ahhh that's right, there is a long hallway outside the door here. Maybe the bathroom will be in a different room? Might as well check.'_

Enjoying his little exploration distraction Naruto went to the door and flung it open. On the other side was Tsunade, hand posed as if to knock on the very door he opened. Both parties froze in shock, until worry and a bit of sadness filled Tsunade's eyes.

"Were you...going somewhere?" Her voice didn't sound right as she looked to his feet and back up to his eyes. It took Naruto a second before it connected that the reason for this expression was that she probably thought he was trying to leave and run off again.

"No, not really. I was waiting for you, but I was looking for the bathroom...ya know?" The upset expression was hitting him too hard in the heart that he became a little nervous. He didn't want to see her make such a face. Telling the truth was the right answer as she brightened up quickly.

"Ah, that's where you were going! Yeah yeah, sorry I forgot to mention it kiddo!" She was practically beaming like the sun now and for a second her body moves as if she wanted to pat me on my shoulder but restrained herself.

"It's just down the hall, here I'll show you the rest of it." She gave another sunny smile and took a step back, waiting for the other's cues. Naruto looked at the floor in debate before taking one small step out, before making to follow. Both their footsteps were relatively quiet as they walked save for the occasional creaky floorboard. Going outside of his room into the hall, Naruto stopped in awe at the hall filled with windows. Outside were many big and round trees alleviating any concerns that someone could peek through. Standing there looking at, made him feel small. Naruto followed a warbler that was flying low with his eyes before looking back up to see Tsunade watching him at the end of the hall, a quiet look on her face. She was the one to turn her gaze away first.

"Right here is the bathroom!" She opened the door as Naruto approached and he peeked in. A nice like bathroom was inside, a good side basin and mirror were to the left, and a little door hiding the toilet. What caught his attention the most though was another door on the left near the back. Naruto walked in, feeling immediately that the bathroom floor was a few degrees colder than the outside, and slid the other door open. His eyes widen when the secret room revealed a huge wooden bathtub inside. It was decorated with flowers and vines and numerous soaps, shampoos, lotions, and candles. The room it was in had a light that didn't need to be on, as the skylight above brought in tons of natural light. There was another folding screen in there, painted like a forest lake scene with fireflies and tall grass, and decorated with little charms that looked like stars and rain. Behind the folding screen was a sliding glass door leading to a similar dense forest as the other side.

It was all so terribly serene. It was beautiful. With careful steps, Naruto walked over to the low ledge of the empty bath and stepped inside. He laid down flat on his back and looked up to the skylight, watching the clouds move by, casting playful shadows everywhere in the room. Naruto felt a yearning feeling in his heart, as he wished it was night time so he could see the view then.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Tsunade kneel down and smile at him from the edge. Her breast, resting on top of the wood, looked as massive as they did when he was a kid and tried to look up at her. The memory begged a smile out of him.

"You like it, kid?" She spoke in a soft voice.

"Yeah, I really like it." His eyes fluttered close as his arm felt up the bottom of the bath, loving the feel of it.

"Good, I can tell. I wanted it to be something that would blow you away when you saw it."

"I didn't know you knew I liked baths so much." Naruto spoke thinking of how true that statement was. Nothing could beat bathing in a nice lake, or so he thought. This bath may just prove him wrong.

What he said seemed to impact Tsunade though, as her expression pinched and she looked away. Something deep in her eyes, so deep it could drown him. But she smoothed herself over, years of not letting people see the Hokage's person feeling take over. She looked in his eyes again.

"It's a different sight you know?" She asked.

"What is, laying in a giant bath in a hospital kimono?" She laughed as she offered a hand for him to sit back straight up.

"No not that! You know, Naruto. You have such a big impact on the people who cross your path. You have big dreams, a big personality. Huge appetite, and a big heart. With all these 'big' things, when people hear your name I bet they think your appearance should be of a huge guy!" She lifted her hand to emphasize just how huge she meant.

"I think, in my mind, I also got used to the big things that sometimes when I see you in person it's a little strange, just how small and thin you really are." She inspected his hand, which was still in hers helping him out. Naruto took a small glance and compared the two of them, noting that his hand was smaller than hers. He didn't really know what to say here.

"So, you're telling me that people expect me to be a big huge fat guy then?" Her smile never left.

"Maybe just a little, but I don't think they are expecting someone who is around 158 cm either."

Naruto shot the joyful woman a look and opened his mouth to correct her. To say that he finally hit a growth spurt and grew to 180cm. But then he turned and looked up at her. Looked up, because he wasn't that height...not anymore. It was almost funny at the moment. How his insecurity with his height was so strong in manifested into the Not-World where he had such a drastic height increase.

"It's not my fault I stopped growing a long time ago." He said instead, turning around and admiring the painted scene. He was glad the door was still open, otherwise having Tsunade or anyone stand so close to him might have upset him some.

"That's right, it is not your fault, at all." Tsunade said affirmatively, walking in front of him and opening another door on the other side. Naruto cooly brushed off the slight cryptic statement and followed into the closet he was in earlier, realizing that it all looped back to his room.

"Here we are! I guess you already know about the closet by now, though it also doubles as a changing room." Naruto brushed past her, giving her a wide birth, and walked back to his room. When he turned around Tsunade was still in place, not making a single move to enter inside his space without permission. It twisted something in his chest, but he was entirely grateful. Naruto thought about allowing her in but, after standing so close through the tour he decided he didn't want any outside present to permeate in the room. It must have shone on his face somehow, as she turned around and made the long way back to the hallway, where Naruto waited for her. She kept her distance still, giving him much-needed space. Naruto walked back out, the sun shining in his eyes, blinding him a little. The sun made him think of the stone monument, and a question burned at his throat.

"Are you still...the Hokage?"

The smile left her face as she gave him a small questioning look. Naruto took a few steps forward, almost wanting to reach out to her and demand the answer. His gaze bounced from her, the floor, the wall, to the window.

_'What if she isn't the Hokage? Who would it be, Kakashi? Someone else? Would she even give the position up after everything she has been through? What if it's something else entirely. What if the one ruling the village is...someone bad? Everyone has been too nice to me, what if the leader is someone who hates Jinchuuriki and everyone is hiding it from me?_

_His thoughts spiraled out of control quickly as Naruto thought of all the possibilities there could be. Of who could be in charge of the village. Of what his world really was. The hallway stretched before him again, putting Tsunade and him miles apart and the door to his room too far away._

_'What if everyone being so gentle with me is an omen? What if something happened during the war. What if it was me, what if I accidentally killed a Kage, and I'm awaiting trial here. Those guys who say they are my friends may just be so nice because they know my end is near. Or...maybe there isn't a Hokage at all. Maybe, this is all a dream and I haven't_ _**thought of one yet.'** _

_The air around Naruto began to pop in distress, making a high hissing noise like a snake ready to strike. He was a million miles away right now, but he was forced back in his body by the sound of Tsunade's voice._

"Yes, I am still the Hokage of Konohagakure, even after the war. I haven't thought about quitting the position, really."

Naruto's unfocused eyes tried to train on her. She was shifting from side to side a little. Naruto couldn't look at those eyes so instead and focused on her hair.

"Don't get me wrong, I was asked that question, but I thought it wouldn't be a great idea or a fair thing to leave the village without a leader when it was still recovering. And recovering from war takes more than a couple of years. Having the same face to look at instead of coping with a new change of hands can be comforting, is what I thought."

Naruto closed his eyes, letting the words wash over him. Tsunade was still the leader of the village. She kept her position.

"I see...That's good...I'm glad." Naruto made eye contact as he said the last part. She smiled.

"When the going get's tough, you need to listen to your heart, and stand for others. That's what you taught me."

Naruto, as if his limbs were new, made a quick line for the fridge in his room for some water. Not bothering to acknowledge the last sentence. He held out one without looking at her before tossing it. She played with the cap as she leaned against the door.

"How are you feeling today, kiddo?"

The question threw him for a second, as he didn't even ask himself that since he woke up. A very very typical 'I'm fine' pushed at his throat. But the thought of knowing she would see through it, and having to play that dance as she tried to figure out what was really going on made him incredibly tired. So he went with a shorter answer.

"Headache, comes and goes. Haven't really thought about anything else." He caught her giving him a once over with her eyes.

"You really want to give me a physical check, don't you?"

"Eh?" Shocked spread before she sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck.

_'Being that shocked is a little uncalled for ya know.'_

"Well yes, of course, I do, but in this-ahem-what I mean is that I want to respect your boundaries no matter what. I do hope you'll let me, but I'll wait until your more content" she said, before turning more serious, "what is most important right now, is your mental health."

Naruto tilted his head. Mental health? He knew about stuff like that, but next to nothing about his own.

"How do you even fix something, like mental health." He muttered to himself, turning to watch the leaves fall by the window. The question of what season it was bounced in his mind.

"Well, I do want to discuss more with you, but I thought that there was someone who knew more and would be a better fit for the job. I have them here with me, if you are accepting?" Tsunade turned her body away a little, waiting for his response. Naruto twitched at the thought of someone else being him. Anxiety clawing at his body before he turned to face her again.

"Show me." The authoritarian tone changed the atmosphere. Tsunade gave a sharp nod before motioning someone in the hallway.

_'They're already this close?'_

There was a couple of soft footsteps. Clouds overhead blocked out the sun, dimming the room to a noticeable degree. When they slid out of the way, there standing the door in full view was Shikamaru.

He looked just like he did when he was younger. In some matters, less tired around the eyes, and he didn't have any facial hair. He was holding a few things in his arms and when Naruto traveled up to his face he was taken aback by the intense gaze resting solely on him. Shikamaru had a deep look on his face as he shifted his gaze to different points all over Naruto's self, going down to up, resting on his hair, and then settling on his eyes again. Naruto tensed, but then thought about who the guy was. Shikamaru, his trusted advisor. His friend who has looked out for him for a long time. Someone that doesn't judge and someone whose appearance change wasn't drastic enough to send Naruto for a spiral loop. Naruto felt a calmness he would always feel whenever Shikamaru would come and help Naruto out whenever he was having trouble. He could always count on him to fix things. To help him.

With a calm feeling in his chest, Naruto gestured the other inside.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated! Thank you all for your support, and I hope you continue to enjoy this work!


	6. Shadow Afloat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the wait! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. If you have any questions or spot an error (especially with Naruto's missing arm) please let me know!

Naruto gazed at Shikamaru and for the first time, the layers of another person didn't appear before his eyes. The shadow that Shikamaru cast onto the wall behind him flickered something fierce but the person in front of him remained the same. Naruto brought his gaze up to Shikamaru's eyes where they were held evenly for three seconds in real time but like seven years in feeling. Naruto's breath was stolen away at the sight of the sharp penetrating gaze that seemed to fly right through him, into his very soul and core and back out. Unconsciously Naruto's hand groped at his chest in an undeliberate attempt for his brain to check if his hand would go through his very flesh and bone, given how exposed he felt being studied at like this. But his hand hit his solid mass, and Shikamaru looked away from his eyes at the count of 3.

"Yo, Naruto!" Shikamaru smiled and easily hid his talon-like eyes away from view, changing from a terrifying battle tactician to an easy-going schoolboy in a blink of an eye. Shikamaru sunk his broad chest in and hunched over his wide shoulders, effortlessly losing a few feet from his impressive height and erasing away the intimidation it could cause for some. Add with the almost dopey smile on his face, Shikamaru would always quickly put Naruto's instincts at ease as not many would be on guard with some lazy looking guy who couldn't be bothered. It worked in the past, and god somewhere inside of him Naruto wished it worked now, but it couldn't. Shikamaru couldn't hide behind that mask of his at this point. Naruto lived too long, has seen too many things whether they were real or not. Shikamaru's eyes may be that of a falcon, bright and brown, and piercing, but at this moment in time, he would have to counter Naruto's own, weary and always watching eyes. Shikamaru's eyes could pin someone down to the ground; to have their soul overtaken with moss and their body buried down, but Naruto's were a deep whirling sea swirling, taking in and swallowing everything it catches. No sailor nor soldier can ever hope to escape the whirlpool so vicious it shook the lighthouse sitting far up above. The shadow user before him may have trouble finding a steady patch of land in the sunless bottom of ocean eyes.

Naruto stared, and just as before it was just Shikamaru standing in the doorway. No other version of him, nothing of innate change. He still held in him the air that Naruto was the most comfortable with, and it was hard to see him differently. He was Naruto's trusted advisor. A friend when he didn't have any. Someone who, not once, put Naruto down even when Naruto was being his most annoying self. Shikamaru accepted him, something his own teammates way back when couldn't do, and even if Naruto wanted to be on edge, wanted to watch Shikamaru from the corner of his room like a caged beast looking down on potential prey, he couldn't do it. His body reacted to the Shikamaru he knew he could always ask for assistance when needed. Naruto hated asking Shikamaru for help in the past, as he was afraid he might one day drive Shikamaru away, but whenever he did ask for help he knew he could definitely rely on the other. And what a wonderful feeling it was, to be able to rely on someone to take care of something. To know whatever was bothering him would be dealt with. To know he was safe. All that was what Shikamaru encompassed.

Naruto brought his hand up and delicately waved Shikamaru inside. Tsunade looked at the other with wide and happy eyes as Shikamaru took a confident but slow step inside the fox's den.

"I'll be around then," Tsunade said, and both boys looked to her in the doorway. She looked wistful. Hope in her eyes shone. Tsunade gave a long, long look at Shikamaru like she was conveying something important through glance alone. Then when she turned to Naruto it changed into something softer. Naruto felt that he may have preferred the look she gave Shikamaru instead of something with such raw emotion.

"I'm going to go get you some more drinks and food, is there anything else you need?" She inquired. Naruto's hand twitched at the question. He walked over to the closet and dug out his little frog wallet and found when searching the place that he hid under some cloth. Naruto brought it over to Tsunade and handed it to her.

"If you see anything called orange rose tea, can you get that too please?" Naruto knew how much he had stored in his little wallet friend, though he was worried about his funds for the future, given that he also didn't know how much it cost for him to stay in this nice room, but he was hoping Tsunade did stumble across the drink he mentioned. He drank it occasionally as a child but it was saved for special occasions given how expensive it was to him. The taste though was incredible and the aroma sometimes filtered in his dreams reminding him of happy times.

Tsunade blinked twice, and carefully turned the frog pouch in her hand like it was some other-worldly thing. Her bewildered face came back up to look at Naruto's...and then she burst out laughing.

"Ni-Hahahaha!" She clutched her stomach and shook with the force of her laughter. This was the hardest Naruto has ever seen her laugh. Even more then that time Jiraiya slipped crotch first into a pole when he was leering at some women in a snowy stroll through the village. Naruto kept his face even but took a couple of steps back.

"What are you laughing at exactly?" Tsunade shook her head and made a big damn show of pulling herself back up. Her grin wide with mirth.

"Oya Oya, just what do you take me for!" She juggled the wallet in her hand.

"Like I would make a three-year coma patient spend their own money on essentials! Especially a drink, a nonalcoholic drink! This has to be one of the most hilarious things that anyone has ever done, ya know most people would be milking free things for days, even weeks!" She tossed it back for Naruto to catch. He looked down at his worn buddy.

"I think most people would know that I am not like most people." The sentence slipped out. A water snake that held more meaning. Tsunade didn't waiver.

"Yea, yea, and that's what makes you so great! Say, why don't you just forget about money until I tell you differently, okay? Brat." She leaned in the doorway, hands on her hips. Her eyes were swimming with happiness and her excitement didn't let him get another word in.

"Orange rose tea hmm? I'll see what I can find. I'll be back in a bit, if you think of anything else let Shikamaru know and he'll contact me alright? Behave yourselves, boys!" She turned on heel and walked away, light blonde hair flying. Naruto watched her go, feeling light in the chest at seeing her so happy before turning to the quiet person who has been watching him intently out of the corner of his eye this entire time. It was a little funny to see the stone observer quickly turn to laid back Shika when he noticed Naruto turning his gaze. Naruto walked past Shikamaru to one of the chairs under the window and took a seat. He was hoping that Shikamaru would pick up the conversation, as Naruto had too many questions to pick one out to say and start them off. Shikamaru did not disappoint.

"How are you liking this room so far?" he asked as he took the other chair. A small table being the only thing between them. Naruto brought his legs up, tucking one underneath and the other up so he could rest his head on it and curl into himself.

"This has to be one of the best rooms I've ever stayed in," he answered bluntly, which Shikamaru seemed to like.

"Yeahhh, it is nice in here. Seems like a good place to take a nap in." Naruto hummed at that statement that solidified the idea that Shikamaru hadn't changed.

"It's nice to be in such a comfy place, especially if you don't know what all has changed outside of it." Shikamaru shifted and moved his leg to rest in a similar position as Naruto's own.

"It's really good to see you awake again, Naruto." he breathed out. Warm gaze shining in the sunlight coming in.

"So I've been told." Naruto decided to rest his head in a position facing Shikamaru instead of the wall in front of them making it all more personal.

"I'm still getting the hang of things though, who knows, this place might just become my permanent home." Naruto gave a small tired smile that he didn't have the energy to keep up. He finally took in the books Shikamaru had brought in with him. Naruto didn't take in the names all that much but had a gist of what it was for.

"Those must be books about people's psych and mental being, right?" Shikamaru looked a bit surprised.

"Umm, yea, yes they are. I was just reading up on them..." The shadow user halted, trying to pick the right words to say next. Naruto chose to cut him some slack.

"Because Obaa-chan told you how weird I was being since I woke up and asked if there was anything you could do." Naruto followed his statement smoothly. Shikamaru's eyes widen so much that Naruto could see the gold flecks in them. He almost looked away, since the sun was making them a little too bright. He heard the breath that escaped Shikamaru's throat and watched his throat as he swallowed.

"Yes." Shikamaru continued. "You're right, though partially. The Hokage did tell me that you woke up and were having some trouble, but she didn't really go into many specifications...:" There was a lot of unsaid words in the air, Naruto noticed.

"I do have some psychological books with me, but I brought them to lend to you if you wanted something to read. The other things I brought were a blank book to write in, and my own gatherings on the war and what happened strictly with the leaf shinobi."

Naruto watched Shikamaru's long hands and fingers pick out a leather book and gently push it towards him. He debated for a moment before taking it. It was dark green, and had twisting patterns carved into the face of it. The spine of the book was bound with a cord that crisscrossed over itself. Naruto felt the little lock mechanism keeping the book closed, feeling the coldness of the metallic. It was a wonderfully made book. When he undid the lock and open the book the smell of parchment paper all but erupted from within. Beautiful, white, and empty paper lined the inside. Naruto sat up as a need to draw flooded him. He wanted to draw in it. He wanted to write! Nobody knew, not a single soul in the world knew, but Naruto loved to write things. He liked to write down stories he thought of, of legends he heard while traveling. Sometimes a story would wake him up in the middle of the night and he had to urgently write down what he thought, resulting in numerous torn out pages to scatter his room filled with excited thoughts and emotions. Naruto even, as a kid, would write down good things that happened to him, compliments that were given to him so he could go back and read them, again and again, to remind himself that it wasn't all bad. It was all horrible. Stories, tales, thoughts, there were even letters! Naruto didn't have many to write letters to, but he did write to Gaara a lot, and that brought him joy. Sitting at a desk, careful writing the words he wanted to say, sealing envelopes with wax. It was all so...lovely. Seeing all these empty pages made him want to gather his little stationery set and write down so many things going through his mind.

"What is this for?" Naruto asked with a hoarse voice. One that sounded like the scratch of pen on paper. He didn't know what was wanted of him. The other did say he brought a book to write in, but of what exactly? Did he have to write...about the Not-World? Shikamaru leaned over just like Naruto was and spoke closer to him. His voice lowering as he leaned.

"I thought you would like something to write in..." Naruto turned his eyes back down on the carefully well made book. A hand entered his vision, gently holding a pen.

"It's for you, to do whatever you like with. I hope you like it." Each word of Shikamaru's left a lingering sensation of a thousand unspoken things. A trail as if he was trying to lead Naruto into something that neither one knew if he was ready for. Naruto took the pen and leaned back, Shikamaru following suit.

"Thank you." Naruto hugged the book to his chest and brought his knees up to enclose it to his chest. He could feel the weight of it on his chest every time he breathed out. Of course Shikamaru didn't want him to write about the Not-World. He didn't even know of it. Naruto didn't have to speak of it out loud. With lidden eyes, Naruto felt warmth at his gift.

_'I'll cherish it. I'll cherish this forever.'_

He looked back over to Shikamaru, who was all but turned completely in his seat to face Naruto. His hands were pressed together like a pyramid over his mouth. His gaze profound as more thoughts than Naruto could ever hope to know ran in his mind. Naruto couldn't bear to look directly in those eyes, so he took this chance to again trace the other's face. For some reason, in his mind, and in the Not-World Shikamaru's eyes always seemed to be droopy. But now that he had a chance to really gaze at him, he could see just how incredibly sharp and narrow they were. They were quite intimidating. Naruto thought about how wrong he got the eye shape. Here Shikamaru was, giving him a gift, and all the time and helped Naruto in the past and Naruto couldn't even remember what his eyes looked like.

 _'What kind of friend am I?'_ Naruto thought bitterly. Pain welling in his chest.

' _Just how awful of a person am I really?'_ In a flash Naruto uncurled himself. His knee hit the top of the small table with a dull thud as he loamed over Shikamaru on the other side. He grabbed the other's very much shocked face without a word and brought it close to his own. Naruto took in everything, burning the sight in his mind's eye and very being, defying anything to make him forget the view. This close he saw all the gold and rich brown buried in Shikamaru's eyes. Those eyes that always appear dark and half-opened actually hid such a beautiful color. His hair as well, dark brown with light brown streaks trailing through like forest paths held together by a very dark green tie. The very tips of his hair, sticking out of the ponytail, held a touch of a light blond tint that would be impossible to see in the dark. Shikamaru had a couple of freckles tracing across his forehead and Naruto rubbed his thumb on them and let it fall down where it trailed down over the nose of the other, which had a dent in it. Something from an injury? There was another injury mark on his face, right by his right ear was a small scar, and another one on the fold on his outer ear on the left side. Naruto's fingers went down further to the extreme dip in Shikamaru's top lip, where he then pried open the other's mouth. Shikamaru had pretty good canines and Naruto took note of it all. The moles, the freckles, the scars, even the bags starting to form under his eyes. It was all an interesting sight, and Naruto marked it to his core. He kept looking until he was felt a little satisfied. Naruto saw his reflection in Shikamaru's eyes, and at the moment become aware of just how much he was crowding Shikamaru.

"Ah, um sorry," Naruto said, his tone neutral, to surprised at his own actions. He started to pull away but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"No, it's okay." Shikamaru spoke in a hushed tone. Eyes turning nearly pleading.

"You can look as long as you like, I want you to know that." The hand on his shoulder became heavier, making sure he was dragged in the present. "I want you to know that you can ask of me anything, anything in the world, and I won't judge you." The gold in his eyes grew as Shikamaru's eyes widen with intent as he leaned up closer to Naruto. Everything was quiet, but Naruto got the point, so he nodded his head.

The hand dropped and Naruto sat back down on his chair.

 _'This room is too hot, I hope summer passes quickly.'_ Naruto thought.

' _Wait...I'm not sure what season it is.'_ Naruto stood from his seat and walked over to the back door in his room. Nice cool air came in making Naruto close his eyes at the feel of the wind. It felt nice. The sky was a bright shade of blue, but the sun was beaming directly done from over top, making it hard to look out. He couldn't see.

"Naruto." The one in question turned to look back. Shikamaru had stood up, and after great internal debate, walk to where he was standing. A cloud overhead came and blocked out some of the sun as Shikamaru reached him.

"You're hair, it went back." What a strange thing to say, Naruto mused. He patted the top of his hand to make sure there was hair there and he didn't go bald in his sleep. He pulled a long stand down and eyes the blonde color. Smoothly he turned to face Shikamaru and tilted his head with a confused noise.

"Nh?"

"Nnh?"

...

"Ah! Did you not know!?" Shikamaru blurted out loud, looking shocked in disbelief.

"Oh man, did know one say anything?! Well, I guess maybe there might not have been a good moment but still, ahh those guys are a pain." Shikamaru patted his chest till he pulled something out. A bird flying by fast and free caught Naruto's attention halfway, so he was no longer listening as he watched.

"Here, I got a compact mirror to show you, maybe you'll see-"

Naruto painstakingly tore his gaze away, expecting to see Shikamaru's own face. However, what he saw was not that, as strands of bright blonde hair came into view, and the start of the side of his face.

_CRACK_

Out of pure instinct, Naruto slapped the mirror out of Shikamaru's hand. It bounced off the wood floor onto the stone step right outside where it shattered against the edge. Both parties stood in silence.

"Ah!" Naruto bent down first and started to pick up the pieces but a hand stopped him.

"It's alright."

"But-"

"It's alright." Shikamaru said again with a smile. He went down to sit while groaning like an old man before sprawling out, contently looking at the sky. Naruto staid nealing on his hunches, but he didn't try to pick up the mirror. Instead, he kept thinking about it. He could have sworn, at a split second, that he saw his hair turn a different color right before he slapped it away. Naruto chewed the inside of his lip before he decided to ask.

"What did you mean, by my hair?"

Shikamaru looked over before straightening up with another smile.

"You're hair, it changes color now. Not really sure why, Kakashi was the one who told me about it. Well, if it's something you are worried about we could try and see why you know? Maybe do some research together and figure it out, yeah?" Shikamaru rested both hands on his spread knees and lightly bumped Naruto with one. Naruto blinked and thought about it.

_'My hair is changing colors? By the way he says that, it changes and goes back to the original color then, right?'_

Naruto twirled another strain between his fingers, mulling.

_'Well, hair changing colors is the least of my problems, and as long as I didn't go bald or anything I think it should be fine.'_

"Mm, yeah I think it would be interesting to do researching...some time." Naruto replied. This little response seemed to make Shikamaru quite happy, as he gave a nod and a smile so big it made his eyes squint. Naruto didn't think he ever saw Shikamaru smile as big as this before...ever. Naruto couldn't stop staring, though they were both interrupted by a loud cluttering outside the inside door.

"He-llo!!" Tsunade yelled as she whipped the door open. She was carrying a couple of brown bags in one hand and two boxes through over her shoulder in the other. Both boys got up, Shikamaru getting up first and letting out a hand to help Naruto up, and they went to greet the Hokage.

"My my, what's in the boxes now?" Shikamaru drawled out with hands in his pockets. Tsunade smiles fiercely as she dropped them down and in a flourish opened them up.

"Ta-da!" Inside were bottles and bottles of orange rose tea, all neatly lined up. Naruto was beyond shocked as he knelt to peer in.

"Are these...all tea?" He asked tentatively. Tsunade also came down and moved the open box off.

"Well, those were just the cans I could find in the village at the moment but in here, here is some orange rose tea leaves! I didn't know if you liked that as well so I got it anyway, but then you would need a kettle so~"

Inside the other box were two carefully places packages. Underneath them, both were even more bottles of tea. Naruto felt a little bit of sweat run down at the sigh of it all. He turned back as Tsunade handed him the now unwrapped package.

"What do you think?" She was beaming again. Naruto took the kettle and looked it over. It was...orange! It looked like an orange sunset was painted on it, darker at the bottom and fading at the top where the lid sat. Delicate flowers were painted at the bottom in a field scene, with some petals scattering in the painted sky. It was wonderfully well made, looking at it made him feel like he could walk right on the scenery made. It came with four cups, two black and two orange with small flowers painted on the inside. Naruto picked up some of the tea bags and looked at it all.

"It's...gorgeous." He spoke. The other two sighed happily and smiled at him. Naruto went to place the tea set on the counter, carefully looking it over. He then thought of something important.

"Oh yeah, I have a mini stovetop as well so you actually have something to put the kettle on, it even has wheels so you can move it around!"

Naruto nodded his head at Tsunade picking up his thoughts, bringing a hand up to cover the glare of the sun outside hitting his eyes. He went back over to where Shikamaru and Tsunade both still sat to look at all the tea.

_'My heart is beating fast...but I'm really happy about these gifts. They are so thoughtful.'_

Naruto's chest clenched a little painful as he carefully walked over to the others. Their faces young, they were young. But staring at their features too long made a headache appear. In this dimming light, Naruto tried so hard, to be in the present. To _think_ that this was the present and r _eal word._ He wanted to believe in it so badly. However much the ghosts of something else kept lingering in the side of his vision. These people were so nice.

...They were too nice.

_Did he deserve this?_

_What if it was taken away?_

Naruto crouched back down, knees huddled to his chest even though he was trying to relax a little more. Because while their behavior was off from what he was used to, this was ultimately what he wanted. What he longed for deep in his heart, so much so that he created a fake world where he got it.

_'Doesn't that mean this could be fake too?'_

Naruto tsked to himself at not being able to stop that quick thought he knew was coming. He was happy about the thoughtfulness of the other two, and wanted to for just a second live in this happiness...

but he was scared.

Naruto took in a breath and tried to focus back in real-time, at the very least just to make sure these two left and he could be alone for his incoming breakdown of horrid thoughts. He looked up to Tsunade, in front of him, who was talking but he wasn't getting a word of it. The sounds of her words were there, but they weren't connecting into a pattern of cohesive words or sentences. It was like a wobbly sound that couldn't even hit both ears at the same time. He thinks she was explaining something about the tea bags...or maybe where she got all the cans. This was bad, he was giving it his all to be in the present, so why weren't her words coming through. Naruto bit inside his lip again. The deeper baritone of Shikamaru's voice cut through the air like a knife and Naruto turned towards the sound, hoping that he was trying to wrap things up and leave, only to freeze.

The sunlight coming in hit the back of Shikamaru's head, casting a shadow that all but erased all the little colors in his hair that Naruto picked out earlier. Shikamaru slowly turned his head to face Naruto, the shadows running along his face fasting than they should. There, below his lip, sat a triangle of a shadow. Naruto's heart, which he thought was racing before, picked up to another speed all together as he took in the shadows around Shikamaru's eyes and below his mouth. It looked too familiar. It looked too familiar! The ghost of the past dance and hollered in front of the Shikamaru that he painstakingly watch, slowly settling into the other's skin.

 _'He is here for me.'_ Naruto's mind raced. ' _He is going to take me back!'_

He now understood things a little bit better, seeing whips of blonde turned red in his vision as he pulled back his fist. He couldn't stop. He punched right where the others Shikamaru's goatee would be. The momentum of his swing was offset by his missing limb, so Naruto dug his feet into the ground and threw himself on top of Shikamaru, crashing both of them to the floor. He grabbed at the other's collar.

"I-" how can a voice be so wobble but stern? "I won't let you do just whatever you want with me!" He didn't know why he said that of all things, but then again he was happy what came out of his mouth was coherent given how many thoughts and feelings were rushing through his being. Naruto sat up, still straddling Shikamaru and still holding on to him. At this point, he would have brought back his fist and go for another sucker punch, but the breeze on his stub gave him a painful reminder at the last minute. He didn't have another hand to do anything with. Naruto choked a little on his tongue as he ignored the fact that he thought he saw an apparition of a bandaged up arm just a second ago. This was all too much. Naruto leaned all the way back and looked down at the other and, like a snap, his intent to beat the face right off Shikamaru left. The Shikamaru underneath him wasn't the one that he wanted to fight. Not at all.

Shikamaru laid sprawled on the floor, neither hands up to guard him nor to push Naruto off. He was laying down with them flat on the ground and a neutral expression. But the shadow was gone. Naruto knocked both of them fully in a patch of sunlight which highlighted his features, all of them, that Naruto made sure he remembered to his core. Gold and brown eyes looked up at him, not hate or malice or pain, just calmness. He was completely calm.

Naruto carefully lowered his grip on the other but remained seated on him. Neither one said anything. Naruto didn't know this, but the reason why the other person in the room didn't interfere was that Shikamaru quickly raised a hand to her to ask to deal with this alone before pressing it firmly on the ground. Tsunade was close, almost touching Naruto, but backed up against her instincts for fear of hurting Naruto anymore then he was hurting.

Naruto stared at Shikamaru, bringing his face close before rolling off and away to lay on his side on the ground, facing away from the other two. Nothing was said, nothing needed to be said. They knew they should leave him be now.

"It's alright, you know?" Naruto twitched a little at Shikamaru's low spoken words. His vision obscured by red strains of hair. It reminded him of his mother. Naruto listened to their quiet footstep as they gathered what they needed to leave while thinking of his mom. The memories he had of her were...calming. He wished he had red hair like hers, like an Uzumaki, and somehow, someway, he got it. Naruto turned his head to face the door and his visitors. The roots of his hair struggling to decide if they wanted to turn back blonde or not. He wasn't really looking at the faces of either, but they seemed to take his movement as something positive.

"There was something you wanted to say this whole time, wasn't there?" the statement was directed at Shikamaru. From his resting position, he could only see as high as their tummies, so whatever look or conversation they were having together was something he wasn't picking up. Naruto's eyes shifted though when Shikamaru knelt down on one knee to make better contact with the prone figure on the floor.

"You're correct, I...actually wanted to see if you were comfortable with other people coming to visit you-and by that I mainly mean my team; Chouji and Ino. They don't know you are awake, but I know they would be happy to hear it, and to see you. The choice is obviously up to you, I don't really care either way." Shikamaru rubbed the back of his neck at that.

"Honestly I'm content if you let _me_ come back-"

"When?"

"Tomorrow?"

Naruto hummed low and didn't move.

"Bring them the day after tomorrow."

Shikamaru's face split open with shock before the analytical look took over. He searched Naruto's face, knowing better than to ask more questions, and once he found what he was looking for gave a court nod.

"Alright, I'll talk to you soon, okay?" He gave a soft smile but Naruto was already turning his head the other way. He heard both of them say goodbye as the walked away. No thoughts ran through Naruto's head, it was all silent. Which is probably why he could hear those two talking even when he knew they left.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, you don't have to worry about me, you're the one that got punched you know?"

Naruto sighed and closed his eyes. Leaving everything to go black.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking of making a private email so people can message me about my work or even send me fan-art, though I wanted to actually get your opinions about that first! What do you think?


	7. Moon and Ocean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this out for you guys as soon as I finished, so sorry if it has mistakes. Rest assured I will fix them!   
> Please let me know what you think. I had more I wanted to add but it became long so I decided against it. I might add it later though.   
> ALSO, I redid the chapter with first person (I think chapter six) and added some things to it, please check it out!

For what seemed like only a few minutes he laid there on the floor, staring at an equally unmoving wall with a blank look. His face hid well what was going on inside his stomach, as it turned and flittered about uneasily. Even if Naruto were to press his whole body flush against the floor and lay beyond perfectly still his stomach still moved about like a whirlpool trying to escape a glass jar. It made him feel sick...

_'Uh-oh.'_

Shooting up with lightning speed Naruto ran to the back door and threw it open just in time for water to rise up from the back of his throat. The force of his heaving put a strain on his head and shoulders that, by the time he finished he merely slumped over, chest on wood while his head and arm hung out of the door, fingers lightly touching the stone step right underneath. Naruto knew if he were to get up the world would be spinning, so he decided to put it off as long as he could. A slightly bitter wind blew over his hair-still white- making him look up. It was quite a shock, as when the two visitors first left he only thought he laid down for an hour or so. But the pitch dark sky told a different story. It was late...very late. A lot of time went by without him noticing...which was at the very bottom of the list of Things That Were Very Concerning to Naruto Right Now.

_'The wind chill was a tad bit cold...Autumn must be starting soon...or ending.'_ he thought absentmindedly, kicking his legs up in the air. Naruto turned his head to nuzzle it into his arm, only to get a whiff of what he smelled like. His eyes shot open.

"...I need a bath. Badly."

It was a little funny, that he was so preoccupied with other things that he forgot to do something as simple and routine as bathing. But the thought of using the big bath he saw was very appealing. Naruto slowly got up, both physically and his mood, as he made his way into the closet.

While running the water in the bath Naruto stood in front of all the clothes he could pick out, feeling a little lost.

"Uwaa, there is so many to choose from, what should I wear?" He spoke to himself as he patted around the shelves and racks, trying to make up his mind. Spotting a light blue long sleeve, Naruto went to pick it up, only to see underneath an all too familiar black and orange jumpsuit.

"Nope!" Slamming the shirt back down a little too hard and rattling the whole shelf, Naruto stepped away and pushed more clothing over top, trying to hide the thing he didn't want to see at the moment. He picked up one item at a time to place on top until he had a decent pile of crumpled clothing.

"There, all good." Naruto very much ignored his arm that moved, as he wanted to clap his hands together but remembered he couldn't. Instead, he grabbed something random and went in to wash up and bathe. The little shower by the bathtub was nice, despite that, Naruto still hesitated as he grabbed the liquid soap. It wasn't like his senses weren't working in the Not-World, they were. And that is where his new problem lies. If Naruto closed his eyes, he was _certain_ that he would still be able to smell the scent of the Not-World. All in which, wouldn't be that different from here, perhaps. Or maybe it would? Maybe even his sense of smell was made up? In that case, when he went to scrub his body with something that sat on his skin, maybe it would erase the smell in the back of his mind as well? Maybe permanently? Would that mean he would be one step closer to...forgetting about it? Could he forget about it...completely?

…

_Did he want to forget about it completely?_

Naruto squeezed the loofah in his hand as his mouth twisted downwards.

_He didn't want that._

He has done a horrible thing. He made a mockery of his friends in what he could only assume was his unconscious view of them. Or maybe it was something else? But still, it didn't sit right with him. What if it was all a premonition? The future to come? Then he couldn't forget it, lest he be doomed to repeat it.

_But he didn't want to remember it. It hurt, it hurt so much._

Though, there is a chance that this world was fake too. Who's to say it isn't? A world where people are nice to him and treat him like a decent human being and he gets to achieve his goal? That's been every dream he ever had since he was a child! Was this all a test? He failed the last one in the Not-World and now he was sent to another one to rectify his mistakes, even though he didn't know what he was being tested on? Maybe it's a test from God?

"Tsk." Naruto couldn't help but scoff here, thinking about his very long and rocky history with the idea of God. The idea of this being a test from God made him angry if anything. He took the soap bottle in his hand and popped it open, a nice citrus smell flowered out. In the end, he poured on a decent amount.

For now, he wanted to be confident in his ability to remember his wrongs and to never forget them no matter what. He will promise himself.

Completely rinsed off he sat on the edge of the tub, admiring the bath once more before dipping in. The moan he let out in the scalding water was almost obscene but he could help it. It felt so good. His entire body was surrounded by the warmth of the water, infectious enough to seep into his bones and soul, soothing any ache it found. Naruto could feel his muscles unknot, and the strains untwist. Body moving on his own, Naruto slipped underwater, becoming one with the cosmos.

When he came back up for air he felt a thousand times better than he has in twelve lifetimes. Naruto warily looked at his reflection in the water as he stretched his shoulders, seeing his hair blonde once again, and smiled to himself. He now felt new and better, like a flower, twisting open and blooming. Naruto sat there, swirling his feet in the water and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere when his Shinobi instincts told him of a presence arriving somewhere outside. The tired and weary look in his eyes came back, but only for a moment. And at the moment, he decided that he would let his curiosity roam now that he was in a good mood. Naruto got out of the bath, and walked out to the hall.

.

.

.

  
  


Completely in the nude, he walked down an empty hallway. Skin once golden tan from years of being outside now pale, glowing an eerie white in the moonlight coming from the windows. The watery footprints he left as he walked shimmered as well painting the view as if it was something of an ethereal tale told around a wake of a fire. Coming to the front door he crouched door, and opened it but a crack. Two people were on the other side, and they appeared to not have noticed him. Naruto caught on to the end of a sentence being said.

"-been organizing the mail into stacks, there is quite a lot, and still some coming in." The pleasant drawl of Kakashi's voice came through. Naruto peeked through but he knew internally that the other person was Iruka. What he didn't know was why there were here, especially at this time.

"Mm, though I'm glad about that! Thank you for all your hard work, Kakashi-san."

"Please, I told you right? You don't have to add 'san' at the end." Iruka chuckled at that.

"Yes, and _I_ believe _I_ told _you._ I add it to the end because you are deserving of it, and you aren't going to change my mind. Got it?"

"Yes yes, Sensei."

"If you are going to call me sensei perhaps I shall call you with 'Kun' instead!" The two shared a peal of laughter together, and all in all, seemed to be enjoying themselves. Naruto knew that sometimes Iruka had a habit of talking to adults like his children from the academy, much to Iruka's embarrassment. There were even a few times when Naruto had to consol Iruka in his past because Iruka accidentally talked to a superior like that. It was a sensitive issue with his Iruka but...

Naruto leaned over to see the sliver of view he had on Kakashi. He didn't know when the two of them have gotten so close that Iruka wouldn't be shy about his speech habit. He didn't even get mad when Kakashi pointed it out, more like...he teased him back. This would be something, if Naruto was younger perhaps, that he would point out and say 'hey, since I don't remember you have a relationship like this then this proves it's a fake world.' But Naruto is not a young kid anymore, and he knows that people have other lives he doesn't know about. In fact, a very light and happy feeling floated in his chest at seeing this Iruka have fun with someone around his own age. He always worried about his Iruka, not having much time to make friends or meet new people. It was nice, seeing him be so open with someone. The pleasant air that the two created outside turned to something more serious as they both moved to stand close together with back turned towards the door. Still, neither one noticed the extra presence. Naruto continued to listen.

"How were things today?" Kakashi asked, voice lower and softer.

"...Well, Shikamaru got punched today. Luckily it wasn't a serious injury, and even if it was the Hokage was there with him. He is doing fine now, and was invited back in two days. And just a little bit again I sensed the back door open, but no one came in or out. Now it's just...quiet."

From his position, Naruto could see Iruka shrug his shoulders as he nervously trailed off.

' _He somehow knows everything that happened today...did someone tell him? Even with the back door though...'_ As he thought more he saw Kakashi lightly tap Iruka's shoulder with his own.

"Everything is going alright. Yeah, there are some things we don't know, but it could be worse? Honestly, I'm glad that he is here now, after all that's happened. And I know there is a lot of things that need to be fixed, and healed...but I _know_ I'll be here to help with it all. You as well. It's not going to be like in the past, _he_ isn't gonna be doing this alone. Not anymore. It's alright."

Whatever words Kakashi was saying seemed to be just the right ones to make Iruka feel better. Naruto watched, intently, as Iruka gave a small thank you. The two said a good night to each other before Iruka hurried left, wiping an eye as he did so. All that was left was Kakashi, who leaned heavily against the door making it rattle. Kakashi looked down, seeing it open a crack, and stood back up. Carefully, he opened the door a tiny bit more and peaked in.

A dark and empty hall, with the only two doors in it, shut. Kakashi's eyes lingered over the door to Naruto's room, still and unmoving. In his chest, in his heart, he wanted to go check up on the only person occupying this space. But he couldn't, not right now, even though he wanted to so bad. Instead, he forced himself to close the door completely and resume his watch, the whole time not seeing the poised boy sitting just barely out of sight on the other side of the door.

-

Naruto made his way back to the bathroom to get changed, the whole time thinking of the look in Kakashi's eye as he gazed at his room's door, unaware that he was right there. The change of his gaze, how soft and almost wounded he looked before shutting the door. It didn't sit right with him, but he didn't know exactly why. It made him feel sick all over again. That, and he couldn't help but wonder more on why Iruka knew about everything or why either of them was here.

_'Are they keeping an eye on me?'_ That notion filled him with dread. Was he being kept here? Wait no, he was the one who claimed this area for himself...but maybe they secretly loved it?

Naruto bit his lip as he pulled his clothing on, trying to chase off the intense emotions he was suddenly feeling. He didn't want to do any of the reckless things he knew he normally did when he felt emotions so suddenly like this. Keeping a calm and rational head is what will help the most. Naruto took a deep breath, and thought of what he could do.

He decided to make some tea. The mini-stove had been hooked up already, putting the new kettle lovingly on he sat and waited. Drinking a couple of cups and feeling out his stomach. Naruto was hungry, but he didn't reach to grab any food. Not now. He is still just waiting. 

When his stomach growled for a second time, and a pain started to linger, Naruto got up and went to the hall, purposely closing his door loudly. There was startled movement on the other side, and from all the way at his door, he saw the door shake just a tad bit. Naruto didn't hesitate though as he reached for the front door. He threw it open and almost laugh at the sight of Kakashi bent slightly over, fingers still poised as if there were in the door handle with his eye wide. Kakashi looked at him before sputtering and backing up quickly. It took him a minute to compose himself.

"Oh..uh, h-Good morning~ Naruto. How are you?" Kakashi's voice cracked a little with his nerves running. He looked down at Naruto before crouching at his knees and looking up at him. Speaking more softly.

"Is everything all right? Do...you want me to get you anything?"

Naruto stared impassively down at the other man. He sucked on his teeth a tad bit seeing the flip between personalities, not knowing whether to laugh or cry or a mix of both.

"...I'm hungry, for something that isn't here. I wanted to go out and pick some Nashi to eat. It's around that time of year right?" Luckily to add to his point, his stomach growled, though rather than waiting till he finished speaking it interrupted him at the end. It didn't matter though as the point got across. Nashi harvesting was always a good past time, mainly for the elderly or couples, but it was still stable. Kakashi tilted his head a little in pondering, before smiling way too brightly at someone who didn't sleep at all yet. Naruto squinted.

"Oya oya, sure! Why don't we go now and get some! I'm sure it will be fine~" Kakashi stood back up and...held out his hand to Naruto.

_'Hand? Smile?? WE??'_ Naruto numbly looked at the hand, the long nimble fingers and palm, before wrapping his hand around just the fingers. He didn't really know what was going on.

"Oh?!" Kakashi looked taken aback when Naruto grabbed his hand, startling him. He made a move to take his hand back, feeling embarrassment, but Kakashi held on, bringing their hands together and smiling again.

"It's all good! Shall we go?"

Naruto kept his lips pursed, thinking of how quickly his plans changed and becoming more somber.

_'He said 'we'. This was all a test to see if I would be able to leave this place on my own, but before I knew it someone else was coming with me. Does this mean I am being kept under tight watch? Or doesn't it?'_

The hand gripping his let off after a few moments, and it was just the two of them walking in the streets of Konohagakure at night. It was so dark that anyone would have trouble making out the buildings and signs around. Naruto was grateful for that. He felt calmer than he thought he would with not being able to see anything. But he wouldn't allow himself to forget the true meaning of being out like this in the first place. Naruto looked down at his bare feet as they walked, then over to Kakashi's that strode alongside him.

"You know, I can do this alone." Big beautiful blue eyes glanced up at the face of the other through eyelashes, appraising any reaction he would get from his words. From his position, Naruto saw...sadness...fill Kakashi as he looked up at the sky. His silver hair like the silver lining in a cloud, or maybe the silver glint in a sword. They passed underneath a streetlight where Kakashi paused, the light reflecting off just right that Naruto could see his white eyelashes...and the silver in his eye. Naruto heard time and time again how good-looking Kakashi was underneath his mask but, he always thought that the sentiment stayed true even with the mask on. Kakashi looked into the blue eyes looking up at him, looking more and more like a sailor trying to find land from his raft. But then he smiled, again. And crouched down to Naruto's side, again.

"I know," he said. A voice full of emotion and firm. "I know you can do it alone. I know, of all the things that you can do alone. It is actually, incredible...but, I was hoping..." Naruto watched as the grown man trailed off before gently, like a whisper, lifted his finger into the slack palm of Naruto's hand, like he wanted Naruto to hold it again. The feeling of it was ticklish to Naruto, and uncertainty welled up. However, Kakashi simply pulled on his hand a bit, to allow it to rest in Kakashi's hold. He looked at the knuckles of his hand the same way Naruto supposed he looked at Iruka's, before looking up to his face.

"I was hoping you would allow me to accompany you, is all. I haven't seen you awake in quite some time, and seeing you here makes me very happy!" Kakashi smiles at him sideways. Naruto looked at their hands and then back to the face, deciding then and there that maybe this test was a bad idea. He didn't have to answer or say anything though, as his stomach made a very horrific noise that sounded like it was about to learn how to talk with words just to get something in it. Naruto blushed while the other laughed. Neither of them moved for a moment until Naruto stepped forward, thinking that Kakashi looked fine with standing there all night just waiting for his cues. But now he was leading him again, taking his mask down low enough to sniff at night air and turn corners. Every time he walked out of reach to find the direction he would look back and wait, patiently, for Naruto to walk back up to his side.

_'It's almost like he is a dog. A big fluffy white dog.'_

They didn't go out of the Village, which was expected, as Konoha had many mini-forest around the village, or more to say, that the village was built around. Soon even Naruto recognized the crisp scent as they came to a stop in a cluster of Nashi trees.

_'It smells so nice here.'_ he thought to himself.

"Ayaa, shall we get to pickin'?" Kakashi put his hand on his one forearm, looking like he was getting ready for something fun as he ducked under the branches. With Naruto's height, and the fact that these pear trees were about a hundred years old, there was only so much he could pluck. In his mind, he thought of folding them into the bottom half of his top, but that worked better if he had another arm to help him out. Instead, he managed to get three and was holding them awkwardly against his chest. A light tap on his shoulder made him turn around to see Kakashi holding a small handwoven basket. Naruto dropped his in as Kakashi then decided he himself would be the basket holder and would simply walk behind Naruto, waiting for him to pick the ones he wanted.

Naruto quietly imagined a white dog holding a basket in its mouth and looked away.

_'I'm going to climb up and get some better ones...I guess. This isn't at all how I thought any of this would go. I honestly thought there might have been a fight but instead, I'm pear picking in the dead of night with Shiba Inu here.'_

It was more challenging than he thought, climbing a tree with one arm. Kakashi stood below him, and even used his arm to help push underneath Naruto's butt to get him up. Naruto allowed it to help, becoming more desperate to just go back to his room with each second. He sat on a thin branch, picking what was in his area and dropping them down into the basket, feeling a little bitter about how everything turned out and how his idea changed too quickly for his taste. He tried to not look in Kakashi's weirdly wide and happy eyes. One of these men seemed to be having a million times more fun than the other at the moment. Naruto placed another pear in, counting six with room for just one more. He looked around and saw another one just out of reach.

_'It shouldn't be too much trouble to get to.'_ Carefully rising, the young man sidestepped towards the edge of his pearch. The branch he was on shook as he tried to reach up and get the last one, but Naruto would not be swayed. He focused chakra to his feet to help him stick.

_CRACK_

The branch below him was gone in an instant, breaking into thousands of pieces from the contact of such a high amount of corroded, damaged Chakra. Naruto was free-falling down, and then he was going up. Opening his eyes Naruto looked up to the concerned gaze of the man who caught him mid-air and landed them both on top of a roof.

_'Fast...I didn't even have time to think!'_ Naruto's mind was blank from the sudden movement, and from the sudden remembrance of what he lost. Kakashi grabbed something behind him before pulling at the basket they have been using, seven pears laying inside. He gently placed them in Naruto's lap. Naruto shrugged off the hand and struggled to sit upright, his head and legs filled with static. He immediately tried to stand, whether to just get up or to escape the encloser of Kakashi's arms he hadn't picked yet, but his legs shook and weakened with any pressure on them. Naruto tried, he really did, using all his will power to stay standing upright, though it didn't' seem to matter. His legs weren't listening and he collapsed back down, only to bump his face against Kakashi's back, who had kneeled over to carry him.

The second his chest pressed against the other's limber back Naruto remembered time and time again the times Kakashi caught him like this. It was so familiar it was agonizing. The warmth, the scent, the feel of the material. Naruto blinked, and for a moment, though he was transported to another time again. Like when Kakashi found him after his first fight with Sasuke, or after fighting Pein. When he looked up what would he see? Where will he be now?

"Just relax, I'll help you."

Naruto looked up. It was...the same. A Dark village covered in shadows, cast in gentle light from lamp posts that looked like fireflies leading you further in a wood and metal maze. He wasn't anywhere else, well he was, he wasn't where he thought he was in the beginning...Where was he? He still hadn't figured it out.

For a second Naruto's soul lifted out of his body and nearly fled. But then Kakashi started moving, fast. In a blink of an eye they were in front of the door they left out of.

_'Oh, that's right.'_ Naruto thought dimly. _'Kakashi can still use Chakra.'_

_But he can't_

Naruto didn't really know where he was. Didn't know if the place he came from was real or not. He didn't know how long he was going to be here, and, he had no Chakra to help him out. It was gone. To corrupted to use unless he wanted to lose another limb.

_'My room is an island in the middle of a black sea.'_

And to his island, he went. Kakashi didn't drop him off at the front door, instead of making his way to the back so Naruto could get to the bed faster with a slight jog.

"Hup, hup, hup, hup." Kakashi made the noise under his breath, prevent Naruto from getting lost in his thoughts too much. Kakashi got to the back door, smoothly turned, and bent down perfectly so that Naruto was gently placed in the door opening. He let go of the front of the other's shirt that he had clutched tightly to the point of tearing and sat. Not looking at anything, not seeing anything. His limbs were still tingly and felt like they were pulsating. A terrible itch that made him want to dig into his skin just to satisfy. Moving his hand over his leg, he debated, for a moment, if he should do it. Tear his skin right off his body, to expose his nerves and workings.

"Look, I still got there! Here." His voice was soft, as was the way Kakashi set the woven basket down in Naruto's lap. Seven pears sat inside. Since he no longer had a view of his leg he guessed he wouldn't scratch the hell of it. Naruto took a brisk bite, alleviating the pain in his stomach, and kept his gaze forward, not bothering to look at the older man who was crouched beside him watching his face. It ticked Naruto off, just a tiny bit, that when he thought about wanting to be alone Kakashi at the same time stood up and began excusing himself.

"I'll leave you to it then, give you time and space. If you need any help...please...don't hesitate to call me..." With anger irrationally filling him, Naruto snapped his cold gaze at the man who trailed off, not sure if he was going to say another or just snarl like a beast. He watched sharply as Kakashi, fluid as water, stood up while easing the mask off his face. The world seemed to pulsate, as Naruto traced in the face bathed in moonlight. Bright hair, cutting eyelashes, the mole was on his face. He saw his face before...he couldn't pinpoint exactly when, but he knew. That mouth, barely seen by anyone, curved into a smile tang with bitterness.

"I hope you'll let me come back some time."

Ah, he didn't know that Naruto knew he was outside.

Before Kakashi turned away completely Naruto picked out a few more pears.

"Mm."

Stopped by the small noise, Hatake looked back to see his beloved student holding out the basket with four pears in it. Naruto wasn't looking at him, but that was alright. Kakashi took the basket gratefully and left, careful not to overstay his welcome. He wouldn't know that Naruto would sit there for the next few hours, unmoving, only going in when the sun started to glare out him in the eyes.

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments help keep me inspired


	8. Honey Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone~  
> This chapter also welcomes exciting new guests with a special mention to Uki-san! Please let me know your thoughts on him right away, I'll be waiting.  
> As always, my excitement couldn't be contained, so please be aware of any fixes and changes that may happen in the future as I re-read what I wrote.  
> Wish you all the best

The story of Momotaro, the boy born from a peach, is a common story handed down through time. Many parents and grandparent would fondly tell their children about the boy who befriended others, and went on a brave quest to defeat the fearsome Oni who lived in Onigashima. Naruto remembered the first time he heard the story, back in the academy being argued between two students on who was the best sidekick to the 'hero.' He went inside and looked up at his teacher, at Iruka before he became _his_ Iruka, and asked why Momotaro set out, why did the demons need to be slain.

' _Because they were bad.'_ Iruka had said, continuing organizing papers and not looking down at him.

 _'But why were they bad?'_ Naruto had strained his neck to look up at the teacher, nearly standing on tip toes.

_'Because Oni are bad, they don't need to do anything to deserve to be treated that way. They are 'born' bad, and there is no way to change that.'_

Iruka had been exasperated at having to explain, the tone and eye roll said it all. The simple answer was troublesome though, for Naruto, as every time he passed the Teriyaki shop on his way home the old woman with wild hair and a bony finger would always waddle out quickly when she spotted him. Even now, Naruto could still feel the jabbing pain of the finger bent at odd angles as it was shoved in his chest, and can still smell the horrid breath of the woman as she leaned in to identify him in a terrifying, throaty and gargled voice _'Oni~~'._ The old woman would then call over her daughter to throw dry beans at him, while the old woman hollered and whopped for him to 'git' and the girl not much older than him would giggle and dance as if this was the highlight of her day. The family there weren't the only ones to say such a thing, in fact, a handful of elders would spit the same thing if they spotted the young boy and knew they were alone. This news on Oni was concerning for little Naruto. But Iruka had continued on, unknowable of the plight of his student.

 _'If this is a prank of some kind it's a bad one. Why don't you just read the printout I gave you.'_ Irritation was in Iruka's voice. Back then the teacher always gave off an air that he was extremely uncomfortable talking to young Naruto one on one. He often looked around to see if anyone saw Naruto come in after hours. Always turning his whole body away if Naruto talked to him in front of the other teachers, like he wasn't there. He tapped his pencil on his desk and waited for his response.

 _'I can't read it.'_ Naruto had said. Earning him another eye roll and a loud sigh.

 _'You're not going to say you're too good to read it are you? Because I already got the excuse from Takahashi.'_ Naruto tried again, deciding to be truthful.

 _'I can't read.'_ Plain and simple. And wrong. He was kicked out of the room by an angry Iruka. At the time he didn't understand why he was in trouble...he was trying to be truthful. He _didn't_ understand what was written down. The characters seemed to blend together and some of them he never saw before in his life. Naruto went back home the evening, so lost in thought that he forgot to take the long way and ended up running from the mean old woman and her laughing daughter.

-

Naruto woke up from a strange dream, one where he lived as a demon in Onigashima and he ran away from a child wildly swinging a sword with a monkey, dog, and pheasant in tow. The last of his dream ended with him searching out a peach that when eaten, would make Momotaro disappear. The dream was so realistic that he could still taste the lingering sweetness when he opened his eyes.

"Is this my burden? A life cursed with vivid dreams, each one weirder than the last?" He spoke out loud to no one as he straightened out of the fetal position on the bed and cracked his back and knees.

"Mmm, I'm starting to sound like Kakashi, though he can sometimes crack parts of his body that I'm pretty sure shouldn't crack."

After a minute to wake up more he got out of bed to make it, not out of any rule of such, more so because keeping his area clean and clear leaves his mind clear. While struggling to pull one side of the blanket down with one arm Naruto tugged too hard and lost his grip, causing him to fall back onto his butt, bumping the desk by the window.

"Ouch..." Naruto learned his back heavily against the desk to balance and rub his sore behind.

"Haaa, still getting used to it." He said heavily and leaned his head back, counting the dust particles that floated up in the air. Another long drawn out sigh escaped as Naruto's head rested on his shoulder in tiredness, though the feel of something at his fingertips made him reopen his eyes. There on the floor, were the scrolls and book Shikamaru had given to him. One of them unraveled, a peek of ink words becoming visible. Naruto stared at it, a feeling of a wave washing crashing upon rocks.

Smooth like a stream, graceful like the pond, Naruto picked up the scroll and laid it across his lap, baring the words to the world.

_The Collective Accounting of the Konohagakure Shinobi in the Fourth Great Shinobi War._

The words were written fluidly with bold strokes. Naruto read the next line.

_The first day of battle began on the fourth of December of the --- era._

Naruto rubbed a finger on the Kanji he didn't understand. He was going to read more but was stuck, for a moment. Only one sentence in and he hit two blocks.

 _'of December? I was sure though...that the war started in October. It ended on my birthday, right? Maybe...it's a mistake in writing? I'll have to ask when I get a chance.'_ Naruto worried his bottom lip but determinedly pushed on.

_The war was raged by The Masked Man, who was later revealed to be Obito Uchiha, an ex-Konohagakure shinobi who was presumed dead._

Naruto nodded his head at the writing that lined up with his memories, biting the skin of his index finger in thought. Obito...so in this place and in his memories Obito was the one to start the war...at least he had good clarification.

_Obito first announced his – at the Kage -, interrupting the meeting being held there. Obito demanded the last two –, but was refused. Refused or not, the war was already in motion as evidence of the hell leading up to that moment. Leading up to the war many Shinobi from all around reported having to fight – Shinobi with – starting knowing the – and locally – having to fight his –--_

Naruto stopped reading altogether, staring down at the letters that only a few he understood. He attempted, again and again, to break down the characters on paper to understand them better, however, the more he looked at them the more they distorted. He went to hold his palm up, and follow the lines of the letters to trace the pattern in his hand, a method he used when he was young to help familiarize himself with them. The ghost sensation of a hand not there gently touched his palm sent a cold tingle through his body. Naruto shook his head, and to compromise tried to trace the pattern on his leg instead.

_'I'm still not sure...wait..'_

"Ah! Summit! I know this one." Happy to get one Naruto took in the scroll again, trying his absolute hardest to understand the self-taught thing.

 _Obito first announced his – at the Kage SUMMIT, interrupting the meeting being held there. Obito demanded the last two –_ , but was refused.

Ten minutes went by but he wasn't making any more progress. The words were beautifully written, but sometimes the spacing of the characters made them mash up together, making it harder for him to differentiate one from another. The familiar bitter frustration started to rise from the back of his throat. An annoyed whine escaped as he scratched at one character in particular when it vanished under his finger. Naruto gasped and looked, as the character was no longer on paper but was now on his skin, sitting on his finger. Looking closely he noticed it...moving! It wiggled around in place, before coming off completely and floating in the air. Soon, the rest of the characters followed, rising from the paper and dancing in the air angrily over his head. Naruto reached out slowly, and tried to wave them away, but when he tried the dancing characters latched onto his skin. They melted together, painting his skin in inky blotches. Naruto tried wiping them off only for the same thing to happen to his clothes. The black ink spots grew rapidly, coating his being. More and more of them came out from the scroll, his knees down and arm were completely black, the ink growing to cover his entire face.

Through the whole thing, Naruto did not panic. Through the whole thing, his eyes were cut gems, betraying no emotion. They watched with no feeling. Just when Naruto was about to be consumed completely, the tea kettle whistled snapping him out of it. He was no longer covered in black, in fact, he was still hunched over the scroll that was still in his lap. He quickly rolled it back up with a sigh

"Every time something like this happens, I seem to be interrupted before the end. It puts me on edge, thinking what will happen if something doesn't interrupt in time." Grunting he got up to get his tea, wiping at the floor with his foot to set up a spot and drink. With a nurti-bar in his mouth, Naruto glanced back in the fridge, taking not of some Sake that was hidden in the back. It smelled sweet.

_'When you become Hokage, I want to share a drink with you.'_

Naruto startled when he remembered the words Gaara said to him. He quickly chewed the rest of his food and prepared his spot.

"I wonder how Gaara is doing...Is he here? Even if it would be a fake I kinda...would still want to see him." A bird on his window sill made a shrill cry, almost like it was replying to Naruto's words. Blowing on his cup of tea he set it down to grab another bar to ground up and feed the bird with.

"...Hello."

" _Shrill"_

"Hello..."

 _"Shrill!"_ Naruto smiled. He gave the little round bird the food, which it seemed to like if the repeated chirping was any indication.

"Yes yes, I know. Tell me more."

_"Chi chi chi chiii!"_

"You are very cute. Be careful not to get too fat or you won't be able to fly and see me anymore!" Naruto scolded while patting the bird on the head with his finger. The tiny sounds the bird made weren't too much of a disruption, and it made a good companion for drinking tea. Before walking back over, Naruto gently pushed the scroll he bumped into on the floor underneath a chair. He will look at it more later.

 _'I want to know what really happened, with the war, with this village, with myself. Just as it is that the possible answers to my question sit behind a wall of my inability. Maybe I_ s _hould ask for help understanding the characters...but, the reaction people make when I tell them I can't read well...hurts.'_

Naruto made a bitter face as he thought about the issue. The other possibility would be for him to go out and get a book that will help teach him better. He had a couple before as a child, and it helped him get to where he was now. Maybe he needs a next step book?

_'Going out to get the book though hmmm...if I had to I would have to go at night. I can wear a henge-wait no. That's not a possibility anymore. Not unless I want to destroy everything around me.'_

"Damn."

It was a frustrating situation, having something so close but yet so far away. Not only that, but the growing concerns for the visions he keeps getting and the weird dreams every night were rising his anxiety steadily bit by bit every day. The growing ball in his stomach was becoming tighter and heavier.

 _'Maybe I will turn into a fat bird that cannot fly at this rate.'_ he thought sadly, rubbing his stomach.

Sitting on his knees, Naruto took a sip of his nice and hot tea with a heavy sigh. Struggling was something he was used to but sometimes he wished things would just be a bit easier-

"Hm??" Naruto tilted his head as, thinking he heard a noise in the distance. What was that? Whatever was making the noise sounded like a wild boar on the loose. Naruto went to take another sip, when he realized the noise was approaching his direction at an alarming speed.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'M HERE!" His sliding door was flung open with such force that it could have flown right through the wall and out the building, making the man sitting on the floor jump in surprise. Sweaty and out of breath, a barely recognizable light blonde-haired woman leaned heavily in his door way. The woman took a deep breath, dusted herself off, and struck a pretty pose.

"I'm here! Ino Yamanaka is here to make your day bright!" The woman-Ino, it was-vanished from his vision before reappearing with a folding table she held above her head. The thing that was probably making all the noise. She stepped-into his room-and sat the table down before the frozen blonde, who was so shocked that he remained icy in place, the teacup that was in his hand had fallen as soon as Ino entered, luckily hitting the ground bottom side down with the hot liquid not spilling for just a few drops. He watched with wide eyes and a blank face as Ino ran out once more and came back in with a small wheel cart, herself in the place of any donkey or pony, placing the things inside the cart on the table as well. Finally, with a grand flourish. she sat, and beamed a wild smile at him through the numerous cups and vases of flowers that now covered the entire table. Ino excitedly placed both hands on the tabletop.

"Well now well now, it's good to see you beautiful!" She gave him a wink, one that started to stir him out of his stupor.

"I, the amazing Ino, thought it would be _just_ the thing to cheer you up by bringing flowers I grew myself for us to arrange together!" She laughed, organizing the things around her to suit her taste better. The whole time, Naruto sat there blown away by the quick-moving Shinobi. Ever since he woke up everyone around him moved with caution and patience, analyzing him, gauging his reaction to everything around him. This was the first time someone acted so...bubbly. Naruto glanced at all the objects brought into his room before looking to Ino once more before...standing up and grabbing another teacup for his guest.

Naruto cleaned up the droplets that spilled from his own cup before handing the other one over. The whole time he was up Ino didn't stare at him, or watch him when she thought he wouldn't notice. He then poured a drink for Ino, who looked calm and excited, taking in the aroma of his tea with an elegant wave of her hand. Naruto blinked a couple of times, taking in Ino's new look while she drank. Smoothing himself and dusting off anything on his lap, Naruto finally locked eyes, liquid blue meeting sparkling Forget-me-not blue.

"How do you properly flower arrange?"

-

Ino was in all sense, a great teacher. She was patient and gentle and, when Naruto found that he wanted to know more, did not mind being asked questions that may seem stupid or pointless.

"Hey now, you catch on pretty quick! You're a natural at this!"

"...Thank you." The praise made Naruto blush, and Ino calling him beautiful when she first entered was still fluttering around in his mind. Her presence was...nice. She made him feel light and airy, like he didn't have to try to pretend to be someone else. Naruto, as he sat aside his peony and worked with the wisteria, thought of how fun it was to arrange flowers. He mused to himself about how he always loved plants, and that was something that a few other people might even know. Even Kakashi would know considering Naruto gave him Ukki-san, a potted fern he saved when some shop keeper forgot it outside in the winter. A small smile tugged at his lips as he thought about the first time he found that plant as a child. It's spiky limbs covered in snow caught his attention at once, and he visited it for three days straight to see if the shop keeper would take it inside or not. The little plant, even though it was so cold and covered in white underneath it all it was still green and growing. Naruto's heart was captured altogether at the plant trying so hard to live and refusing to give up. He took it home and did his best to take care of it, even going to...the Yamanaka flower shop and asking the tall, blonde-haired guy about how to ensure his plant would survive.

_'That was...Ino's father right? I remember being surprised when I saw 'the nice plant guy' pick her up from the academy...'_

Ino's father gave him great instruction and the fern grew better in no time. He was dubbed Yuki-san by a little Naruto, since the fern was covered in snow for so long, but the nickname Ukki-san came to be because of little Naruto not being able to pronounce Yuki correctly at that age.

Years later, when Naruto first met his new Jonin sensei Kakashi, he took in how Kakashi's hair looked like Ukki-san's had, and made the decision that Ukki should go to the older man as a gift. It was hard giving up something he grew and helped for so long but...

But...

The thought of Ukki and Kakashi looking so similar was just too funny. Naruto spent a lot of time staring at Kakashi's hair and laughing as a kid, must to the older man's confusion. The image of Kakashi taking care of the plant that looked like his twin was way too amusing, and it brought laughter to Naruto even now, years and years later.

_'Well, I did wait quite a long time before I gave Kakashi the plant. I wanted to be sure it would go to a nice home. I wonder what Kakashi thought when, the day after I gave it, I barged into his home and lectured him on how to take care of it? It must have been a pretty amusing sight, for someone so small but so serious to come into one's home and tell them how to treat a plant.'_

Laughter almost bubbled out of Naruto's throat but he kept it down, he didn't want to laugh if there was a guest present. The memory of his past plant filled him with determination. He was glad not all memories of his were terrible.

"Oh!" Naruto's musing was cut short by Ino's gasp. She was looking down at her now empty teacup in shock.

"Would you like some more?"

"Yes, please! This is great tea!" Naruto nodded in agreement as he poured them both some more. Looking into his tea, he could see Ino's reflection in it. Naruto watched, taking in all the changes. She looked nothing like her past self or even the self from the Not-World. It was jarring, to say the least. Nothing too overlap, nothing to miss, it was like she was a stand-alone person not tethered to the chains he made. He thought for a moment.

"You're hair....you cut it." A simple statement. Ino looked confused for just a second before smiling and petting her hair.

"Ah? Oh! Yeah, I had it cut. What do you think? I don't look too weird do I?" Ino did a few poses, letting him see the whole new hairstyle. The long light blond hair was no more. And the whole change was such a difference to the wicked long hair he gave in the Not-World. Now it sat short, way shorter than he ever thought he would see. It ended just at her chin, the curly waves puffing out in a fluffy manner. Both her eyes were uncovered, framed by twist bangs. Coupled with her pretty face and bright eyes, she looked mature and beautiful.

"You curled it as well?" Naruto asked. Ino waved her hand.

"Nope! A lot of people asked me that too! My hair is naturally curly! I take after my mother in that. I used to straighten my hair everyday actually! You can imagine how tiring that could get..." Ino whined while placing her chin on top of interlaces fingers. Naruto nodded in agreement to the tiresome part, but he still was curious.

"What happened that made you change it?" The question seemed to catch Ino off guard. She started to laugh it off but, seemed to change her mind about it and became more there. Ino rubbed the back of her neck and looked away before a small but genuine smile crossed her face.

"Actually, I made a promise to myself, long ago. That I wouldn't cut my hair until the person I liked acknowledged my feelings." Ino looked him in the eyes and seemed...grateful?

"Aha, so yeah, my feelings were recognized. That doesn't mean they were excepted though, but it is what it is. It's actually a long family practice, one of the only traditions that I think they can keep around. But when someone in my family falls in love they will grow their hair out until the reason for their feelings notices. However long your hair is, is supposed to signify things like how much patience you have and how long you were willing to wait for the one you love. If you end up together, members of my family would then cut off all their hair to signify a new stage of their life with their lover! Some of them gave their cut hair as a present, or weaved it into things like a bracelet or necklace, but I didn't think I wanted to do something like that, you get me? Back in the old days, it might have seemed okay but in this day in age, it's practically a marriage proposal!" Ino shook her head hard at the notion of marriage.

"...You fell in love with someone." Another statement. Naruto bit the inside of his cheek as Ino become more flustered.

"Y-yeah, yeah! I did, haha. I didn't think I would ever fall in love as a little girl, I was too boyish for those types of things or at least that's what the boys on the playground always said! But here I am!"

More questions popped into Naruto's mind. He thought of interrogating her, finding out who she had feelings for and if it was the same person he thought it might be. However, sitting here, across from a lovely young woman who was teaching him new things, who blushed, and eyes filled with longing whenever she thought of the person of her affection...it made him pause. Naruto had a goal in mind he wanted to complete, something to accomplish. But he wasn't going to step all over someone's deep feelings so casually.

"Your feelings...are really strong. I'm sure someday they will be able to reach that other person fully. They might not have accepted them now, but I'm sure, I'm absolutely sure they will someday."

Ino stared, before blushing again and wiping at moist eyes. She never stopped smiling though.

"Thank you, that really means a lot to me. You know, I'll allow you to ask me any questions if you want! You are technically the only other person who knows why I cut my hair...well...there is someone else who probably knows but I won't give him the satisfaction you get me?"

Naruto ponders, hesitating. He didn't want to trample on her feelings, but it would be different if she offered herself. However, he knew, that depending on the answer a new problem awaited. Naruto stood solo on a road, multiple paths stretched before him. Each one filled with varying degrees of mist and darkness, the unknowing bringing more terror than the fog that moved like a stream over his feet. Naruto mentally walked up to one path. Ino's answer...if Ino has fallen in love with _that person._ The same one he made in the Not-World, then that means he would have to walk this path. The mist cleared over the sign.

-' _Maybe the Not-World was a premonition that he now needed to prevent happen.'-_

Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat, stretching against the heavy feeling on his shoulders.

"Hmm, is the person of your feelings someone in the village?"

Ino nodded vigorously at that. The ball in Naruto's stomach tightened.

"Yup! I met some cute people while out on missions but I don't think I would be good for long-distance relationships like that." Ino's sparkling eyes lidded at the talk of the person of her affections.

"Mmmmm, is it someone I know?" Naruto's own eyes narrowed, his voice lower in octaves as he listened.

"Ding Ding! It is."

The next question came after a small stretch of silence. No words could describe how tense he was at this moment.

"Is it...Sai?"

The humor faded away from Ino's face as she stared at him in shock, and Naruto leaned over ready to throw up. But then, the woman before him doubled over as a dramatic laughing fit hit her. She clutched her stomach, tears rolling down her face before throwing herself back to roll around on the floor. Naruto at this point, was second-guessing allowing her in his room so easily.

"You're laughing a little too much, don't you think?" He glared down at the woman banging her fist on the ground, feeling some tension leave his back at her expressive face. She looked back over her shoulder, mouth still wide in laughter, but froze in shock under the intense glare she was being given. With astonishing speed, Ino flipped completely and sat at the table properly once more. Back straight and hands firm on her lap.

"S-sorry! Hehehe. It's just that....hehe-out of everyone you could have guessed you choose that guy!" Naruto blew a bang out of his face as he watched her struggle not to double over again. He put his elbow on the table and leaned his head on his palm.

"Ah? So it's not him you love?" He said it with a bit more attitude the necessary.

"No, not at all!" Ino finished her giggling under the wide and intense eyes watching here.

"Aa-aa don't get me wrong though! He is a good guy, and a talented Shinobi, but we don't really have a connection you get me? Someone can be really good-looking but if I don't feel a connection that I don't think I could date them. Besides that, I started growing my hair out long before I met Sai, remember?" Ino gave a patient and gentle smile.

All the air that Naruto was holding in left him. The tension headache that started also retreated making the room feel a bit bigger. He couldn't believe it, he jumped to the gun so fast that he missed a common reason. Naruto's shoulders relaxed drastically, his heartbeat evening out and the path he was on being washed away in a flood of silky mist.

"You're right, that's right. Your hair was pretty long a while back..." Naruto trailed off in thought.

"...oh, you were growing it out, all the way back then! So...you fell in love with one of the Konoha genin graduates?"

"Yeah, I did! Hehe, though that's an interesting way to say it. We as a group have just called ourselves the Konoha 12."

"Oh is that so? Hmm, well I suppose that leaves twelve people still to guess left then, huh?"

Ino laughed, throwing her head back.

"You know, this feels like the first time we ever engaged one on one. We normally greeted each other as 'Sakura's friend' and 'Sakura's teammate.' It's a bit of a shame, considering we have a couple of things in common." Naruto looked over all the arranged flowers and went to pick another one up, thinking how fun it might be to draw it in his new book, though, he couldn't draw that well. So maybe he would write about them instead? Naruto reached for a colorful branch laying on the table, but flinched back as Ino's hand nearly caught his own. She was leaning too far over, invading his personal space. Naruto couldn't hear what she was excitedly saying over the white noise static that grew in his ears as she got closer. The relaxed body of his switched back to tense spring coiled muscles, her movements happening too fast for Naruto to be able to form a single word. He watched, mouth opening, whether to speak or snarl hasn't been decided, as she reached out arms wide in what might be a hug. Just at the absolute last second, a new interruption happened, his door to his room opened once more.

Shikamaru stood on the other side, and Naruto has never seen him look so _pissed._ His brows were furrowed tight together, and eyes that could have cut through a glacier became even colder when he took in the scene. That intense swirled to rest on Ino. Using Chakra, Shikamaru flashed stepped inside just quick enough to grab Ino by the back of her shirt and take her back to the other side of the door. Before closing it, Shikamaru bowed to Naruto polity. A scream was then heard.

Naruto looked around the area to calm himself down a bit. He was a bit worried about the expression Shikamaru had, but was also curious about harsh whispers and whimpers he was just barely hearing. He got up and walked over to his door that everyone was opening today, and peeked out. He couldn't see them, but he could see their reflections in the window. Ino was sitting on the ground holding the top of her head as Shikamaru stood over her, arms crossed, back straight and expression still as fierce as a tiger.

"We. told each other. that we would meet at my place before coming over here. Can you tell me exactly _why_ you are here first?"

Naruto got chills from the rare cold tone Shikamaru was using. He really has never seen him like this!

"Uwaa I thought-"

"You thought what? When you didn't show up we went to your place only to find it a mess. So what were you thinking? If I didn't figure out you went on ahead just how long would you have been here? Actually, tell me, _how long have you been here?_ "

Ino tapped her fingers together and bounced her gaze from the wall to Shikamaru's face.

"I just...I was thinking...I suppose..." She was struggling to form words under such a deadly glare.

"I suddenly had an idea to bring stuff over! Some things that I thought would be useful and that he would like, and I was right! We were having fun! Uhh, but you know me. Once I get an idea I act on it, and I was so sure it was a good idea. I was going to send a message to you but I...forget. I just piled everything I thought I would need and ran all the way here. And we have been here for almost...two hours...."

"Two hours."

"Uhhh, yes... for two hours..." Ino sunk her head as Shikamaru gave such a deep sigh Naruto wouldn't be surprised if the windows fogged up. He quickly walked back in and sat back at the table, not wanting to be in the crossfire of whatever was going to happen when a weird feeling overcame him.

_'Why am I running away? It's because...for a second I thought Shikamaru would come in and yell at me too, maybe even hit me upside the head.'_

Naruto stood over the table he was just working at and stared.

_'Out of habit...it's all out of habit. Like a routine I just expected them to act like this. That isn't good, what if I'm taken off guard? What if I get too relaxed and everything changes again? It's my fault...I got...to comfortable-'_

"How foolish."

The thoughts, which traveled through his mind with such contempt that they escaped to the physical world, were only meant for himself, _to_ himself. By mistake they were heard, though Naruto didn't realize, it wasn't until the hushed commotion on the other side of the door died down did he look behind himself. Shikamaru was peeking in, an upset or hurt like expression on his face. Intense blue eyes trained on him in an instant, and with it, Naruto willed his thoughts into reality.

_'Do it, do it. Prove I am in control. Prove this is all a dream. Come in, like normal. Walk up to me, like normal! Berate me like normal! DO IT! Follow the path that is already outlined and prove me right!'_

Naruto focused with all intensity and will power he had in his entire being for the world to play out in his control. He tried to force his body to become one with the world, and become the wheel that would move it forward. With a deep breath, Naruto became ready to enter Sage Mode so that he could become one with the world and see what he could do.

However, all of that came to a screeching halt before he could even start. After all, having Shikamaru bow on _his knees_ and plead for forgiveness was something he would never expect to happen. It caught him so off guard that he lost all concentration and staggered in place. Shikamaru, who had his forehead pressed to the ground, didn't say anything about it.

"Naruto, I deeply apologize for anything that happened that may have made you uncomfortable or made you became uneasy. My intentions were for my teammates and me to come over, so that you had a chance to interact with other people, and, to be honest I was hoping that maybe interacting with others may cause you to open up more. I've been deeply worried about you ever since you woke up. I acted selfishly to try and get my way, and I hope you forgive me."

Naruto took in all the words of the bowed man.

_'Uwaa, what what what? What's happening here. Why am I being bowed to? I didn't expect this at all it's throwing me into more of a loop than anything!'_

"Why are you bowing to me?" Naruto asked the Shikamaru that didn't move.

"I wanted to show just how sincere I was, and this was the only way I knew how."

_'The only way you know how? Hmm?? Think about other people and how they would feel to suddenly have something so formal like this happen? Huh?!'_

"To be honest, it kind of feels like your mocking me by bowing like that. Doing things on your own...whose to say that I'm angry anyway?"

"Your hair." Came the instant response.

"Hah?"

"Your hair turned red. I know you're angry because it turned red."

_'AAHH, SO INCONVENIENT!! How can I be a proper shinobi if my feelings are broadcasted straight from the roots?'_

Coughing into his hand Naruto did not let his inner turmoil become obvious. Instead, he walked over to the door, noting that Shikamaru was so careful that he didn't even let his fingers cross over the divide between rooms. Naruto stood over him until he looked up.

"Hoo, is that so? I'm glad you figured that out, but it may be beyond even you to guess what I'm even upset about."

Shikamaru's eyes widened drastically as he looked up at Naruto, who was having a hard time standing there being looked upon. Normally he was the one who had to look up at others due to his height, it was a weird feeling. Averting his eyes he spotted Ino in the hallway, who quickly looked away in flustering before bowing as well.

"It was a surprise to have someone come in and treat this place like their own..." Ino twitched and squirmed in spot, but Naruto dragged his gaze back to Shikamaru's.

"...However, we managed to have quite an interesting conversation. So I suppose I'll let it slide. This time."

"Conversation?" Shikamaru said it to himself, low and under breath. Naruto could practically see the wheels turn in his head and wondered what all the other man was thinking of. Naruto bent down at the knees, so they were eye level, and put a finger to his lips.

"It's all a se~cret." The mischievous glint in his eyes caused both parties to look up at him in wonderment, Ino looking in awe before beaming. Scanning the rest of the hallway, while awkwardly leaning over the guy who still sat in the way, Naruto tilted back in with a look.

"You're missing one aren't you?"

"Ah!" Shikamaru _finally_ stood up, and went to offer a hand to his teammate.

"I told Chouji to wait at the flower shop, I just figured it would be for the best." At this Shikamaru passed him a searching look. Naruto hummed in thought.

"Well isn't it time you go get him? You said you would be bringing them all over, didn't you?"

Shikamaru gasped before nodding his head.

"Understood, we will bring him here."

"Best do it now before something changes."

"Of course."

"Rush along now." Naruto said with a backward wave of his hand. The two were off for a total of six minutes before they were back at his door, this time with Chouji in tow. The other man had a giant basket in his arms with good smelling food scenting out. Naruto, a little tired already, waved them in. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like Uki-san very much. 🌱


	9. Warmth Nearby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta go to work so I'll look over it after I am done.

While they were gone Naruto swept his eyes over the room. The medium size wagon and numerous flower arrangements still sat there, and oddly enough, he thought, oddly enough know having them there was a tad bit unwelcome. It felt like they gave off a scent that wasn't his, and that scent would slowly infiltrate his room, and perhaps override his presence. It was a silly thought, he could admit that. They were simply flowers and a cart that transported them.

 _'But they came from the outside.'_ A voice supplied in his mind.

_'They came from the outside, and you don't know what the outside holds anymore. And in a few minutes, more people from the outside will come in. Bring the unknown, fill the unknown, let it all swirl into a spell.'_

"Shut the hell up." He bit right back at his thoughts, growing a bit annoyed at them. He didn't go sit back at the table, but instead brought his knees up at the bed and waited. Naruto wished the bird was back, to make some noise in this dead silence that was left.

 _'I wonder if Iruka will know about all that happened today.'_ Naruto sighed into his arm, feeling the warmth of his breath and the condensation.

 _'Will those two...be keeping watch again? Do they come every night? What's more, is...that Kakashi didn't seem to sense my presence even though I got so close. Is it because I'm basically living without Chakra anymore_? _Mmm...'_

"It seems I'm still a tad bit far away from having at least _one_ day without new questions coming up." A dry chuckle trickled out, which he covered up at the feel of his guests arriving. The added 's' at the end made him twitch. Three people were going to be here...well it wasn't that different from the last time three people were there he supposed.

Right before they made it there Naruto had an idea, so he quickly got up off the bed and went into the closet, where he, as quiet and skillful as a cat, made his way around to the toilet room. He waited for no more than a beat before the front door was slid open, Shikamaru in the lead. Naruto stood in the dark bathroom, the only light casting in from the small slit in the door. With one more quiet step and a neutral face, he stood to the side of the door, watching them file in, waiting to see...

It left some type of feeling in his tummy, standing there and not being noticed, even when he wasn't trying hard to hide. First Shikamaru, who keep the other two in an even stare down, then short-haired Ino, scratching her cheek from her earlier flusterment, and then....then was Chouji. The other man passed by quick, and Naruto was so busy watching Shikamaru that he almost forgot about him, but he could never forget about the size. Chouji passed by like a titan, a tower taller than Naruto could ever remember. Long, spiky brown hair flowed behind him, a soft 'click' of armor that the other was wearing, and then they were making their way down the hall. Naruto caught sight of a woven basket the other was carrying. The group slowed a bit as they came to the halfway point of the front door and his room from a sharp look Shikamaru gave his friends. Out of instinct Chouji and Ino crowded up to him as they conversed and Naruto, for a brief moment, took a step out to view them better. They all had their backs turn, the two learning closer to hear what the other said. He couldn't see any of their faces, and for that, it seemed he gained courage. Naruto stood the whole way out, hand still holding the door frame as he watched them from afar.

 _'Standing like this...makes me think of all the times I was separated from the other kids as a child.'_ Naruto narrowed his eyes, before sliding back in and making his way back around.

_'I used to hate that feeling. The feeling of not being able to be around others, to always feel like I was one step behind the rest of humanity. However...now, it almost doesn't hurt that much. It feels almost...safe?'_

Walking quickly on the balls of his feet he was almost like a fairy traveling over water. Graceful, determined, unbothered by the objects of the world. The change in the air was instantaneous as he came to his room's door, knowing just on the other side he would have to face three people. Three more people.

He already saw that Chouji changed. His hair and outfit were different, but more than that, his _body_ was different. The layover image that lapped at his figure was nowhere near the same height or size as the man he knew was on the other size. The giant change made his head hurt and Naruto didn't even see his face yet. His face twitched and Naruto fought to keep the snarl off from forming, putting his arm up on the door and leaning his head into it to hide his face. A few droplets of sweat fell in his vision to the ground, and Naruto was reminded of the wounds on his feet. The bandages were becoming a bit dark on the bottom, suggesting that he didn't check and care for them as well as he thought. A tsk almost made its way out of his mouth but he tampered it down when he felt someone approach the door from the other side. It was like he could see through the very door, his ears drumming as a hand raised to knock.

"You're back now then, huh?" Naruto asked before a noise could be made. Small intake of breath.

"If you don't mind, may I open the door?" Shikamaru's voice was almost soothing in familiarity. Naruto grunted and moved to stand upright. Shikamaru opened the door, only wide enough for his body to fit through. Naruto couldn't see past him or into the hallway at all. Shikamaru looked around the room, and to Naruto it all seemed like he was looking for him, as when Naruto called out, standing so close to the side of the door, he swore he saw Shikamaru jump. The other man jerks his head to the side, took one look at Naruto, and gained the damn analytical look of his. Something like a deep understanding crossed his face, before he tilted his head to ask if he could come in. Naruto took a breath of his own, and stood back to allow it.

Only Shikamaru came in. So quick that if Naruto blinked at the right moment he would have thought he teleported. The door was shut firmly behind him. Naruto furrowed his brows.

...He knewthat the other two were here. Isn't it a little rude to leave them out like that? Shikamaru took in the room, or more importantly, took in the items that Ino had still left behind. The little wagon cart and many flowers seemed to stick out from the rest of the room, almost like it had a scent on it that screamed it came from the outside.

"Hey, I was thinking, it may be better if we stay on the outside of the door, you know? But not like, leave or anything. We can just sit and arrange everything on the outside and you can stay in here, or even come out if you're feeling up to it. No pressure." The gave directed down at him made everything feel stuffy, but he tried not to think of that and instead focus on what was just said.

 _'He's thinking of having those guys stay out, while letting me still talk to them?'_ Naruto hummed in thought and couldn't help but think of his past self. The one that would of had a rebuttal already through his throat and resting on his lips. He would stomp his feet and yell out loud, doing everything to deny his discomfort. Waving away the question and stomping down any of his insecurities, but....not because he thought those emotions made him weak.

"You know, I...don't really like being around other people. I never really have. In the beginning, I tried to be close to others, but these feelings came far back. Back before the academy, or the first time I saw anyone of you on the street. I, probably got these feelings at the orphanage. Around that time is when I got afraid, of being a burden and a bother to other people." The words would have felt so wrong. These words, in the past, would have never come out, _ever._ The reason being for what he just said, he used to be so scared of people thinking he was a burden, of getting in the way, and he was afraid of never being able to make friends if people only saw him as something to avoid. He didn't want to be alone forever, so he never said anything about himself that could affect other people, he wouldn't bring up his past, which he knew was sad.

But he is no longer the same person from the past. He's no longer the Naruto he knew, and that thought was so excruciating. This change, though, was something he noticed long ago. And while it was a sorrowful moment coming to terms with the loss of oneself, it didn't carry the scarring weight. He was prepared for it.

"....We can try that...for just a little bit." Naruto glanced up to Shikamaru, who he heard gasp aloud when he spoke. The eye contact seemed to ignite something in the other man, as he suddenly walked closer to Naruto, standing over him with such a complicated look on his face, as if he was on the verge of saying something. Brown and gold glittered as Shikamaru opened his mouth, leaning down closer to Naruto and both arms up as if he was about to touch him. Naruto gave a sharp intake and that, thankfully, kicked whatever mood Shikamaru got in right out. The taller man leaned back in a swoop, and the hand going to touch was expertly moved to aim for the door at the last second. Shikamaru touched the door, then the door handle, then decided he wanted to lean casually against the door, at last, all the while opening and closing his mouth, the only sound in the room being the ghost of words he couldn't figure out. Finally, Shikamaru stood still, arm stretched on the door and hand on his hip as if he were laying on his side as he tried to act cool.

"Mmm? Uh yeah, yeah! That will be good then. Uh...you know, actually nevermind. I-" Naruto almost laugh, he really did, as he continued to watch Shikamaru until he smoothed things over in his mind and pulled himself back together.

"Alright, good! I'll let them know and we will start setting up, you can open the door _whenever_ you feel like." Naruto nodded and was about to turn away when a gentle tug on his sleeve made him stop. Shikamaru was halfway out the door, the top half on him still leaning in.

"And, I wanted to let you know, I don't mind, if you tell me about your past. And I definitely would never mind, if you told me about your feelings. You know I won't judge you for _anything._ " And then the leaning willow of a man was back on the other side of the door. Naruto could hear them talking and the chorus of 'yeah!' when Shikamaru told them what was happening, yet he stood still in the spot. In all his life...he never really had anyone say they wanted to hear about... those kinds of things. Or more to say, no one in the village had ever made an attempt.

 _'The difference being Sasuke. But because he isn't in the village I don't include him in things like these.'_ Naruto stared at the ceiling for longer than he thought, when he got the okay that everything was ready he looked down and winced at the neck pain.

 _'Hmm to open the door or to not open the door.'_ He thought, crossing his arms-wait he can't do that. Putting his hand on his hip Naruto pondered. The sounds from the other side weren't silent, but the sound of a close-knit group getting ready for a meal together. Bits of chit chat and sharp laughter courtesy of Ino. Naruto leaned back in thought.

"Hmmmmmm." A sharp turn from the door and he was walking away, but then the walking got faster as he changed his mind and he was making a big U-turn and coming right back to the door where he sat on his knees. Naruto brought his hand up to open the door, but an invisible force made him stop.

"Mmmmm..." He must of tap the door three different times trying to make up his mind before collapsing over his knees and pressing his face into the floor.

"mm." The squeak came out.

 _'From down here I can feel the cold air come in.'_ Naruto mused and turned his head, listening to the conversation going on outside.

"Have you been over there yet?"

"No, but I really wanna go! It sounds so interesting!"

"Yeah yeah, it totally is! But be careful about the one guy who works there-" Chouji's voice was a little boyish, but had a gained a deep notch. Naruto rigidly brought himself back up in thought, then carefully, slowly, he opened the door a crack. The person sitting right outside was Shikamaru, who gave him a soft smile but continued conversation.

"Mmhm, yeah, so are you hungry?" The last part was directed at him, and the scent of good warm food in the air made his stomach twist painfully. Naruto nodded.

"Yosh, let's get you something then-"

"Oh, I got his right here!"

"Carefully were you set that!"

There was shifting and rumbling to the point that Naruto almost peeked out, then his vision was covered in white.

"Here you go!"

"...Eh..." Naruto blinked, and blinked some more, before backing up a little to see what was placed in front of him was a bowl filled with a giant tower of rice.

"Aahhh...."

"Idiot, that's too much!" "That's too big of a serving!" Came the scolding from both of Chouji's teammates from...somewhere beyond the mound.

"Naruto may be able to eat a lot in one sitting but this may be the limit, Chou." Ino was still there. The leaning tower of rice swayed, amitting an intense aura. A few pieces fell off from the top and fell to the table.

"Take some back, here."

"Ehhh, no no leave it! It's all fine right?"

"How did it all fit in the box..."

"You should know better than to ask that Ino, it's a clan secret technique after all." Came a serious reply.

Naruto paused for a beat before he swiped some rice with his finger and put it in his mouth, only to have his privacy mountain shift away from him.

"Ah..." Naruto watched sadly as the leaning tower of Rice-san was taken away back to a point that he couldn't see at the moment. The arguing between the three friends continued. Naruto looked to Shikamaru and watched his profile, taking note of the earring stud in his ear and the way his eyes would roll and shine during a conversation. He wasn't sure if the food was coming back, but he took this opportunity to drill his eyes into the side of Shikamaru's head as the other has done to him.

_'There. How does it feel to be stared at when you're just trying to live your life! I'm going to observe you so hard.'_

The glare was harsh enough to be noticed rather quickly. Shikamaru glanced over before raising both of his palms up. The arguing seemed to grow bigger, but, by the time Shikamaru's hands fall back to the table, the very second they touched, all argument stopped.

"Ahem." Shikamaru cleared his throat. "Chouji-"

To Shikamaru's surprise Chouji but back in, something he apparently never did base on his expression.

"I will not fold! I know it may seem like a lot but, you know the traditions that my clan practices! Everyone always gets equal portions for all meals to show equality no matter who you are or where you come from. Because we believe food can unite people from all over the world together. This only changes in the privacy of home, with our most closest clan members. Someone will go around with a bowl, and everyone who wants to contribute will pick up some of their own food, bless it, and put it in the bowl, which is then given to someone they all respect. This is considered an honor you two! It has deep meaning to it!"

All parties were quiet after the outburst. Shikamaru closed his eyes, before giving Chouji a sigh and smile.

"Aa~aa, sorry buddy. It slipped my mind completely." Then he turned to Naruto.

"Naruto, I want to know if you are fine with eating this? It has meaning to Chouji and his clan, but I don't want you to feel like you _have_ to eat it if it's too much. You don't have to do anything if it feels like too much, yeah?"

Naruto looked away, thinking how to him, it was just rice.

"What's the meaning, exactly?" Shikamaru opened his mouth but Chouji was the one to talk.

"Ah well, it's nothing scary you see. All this rice was gathered from my clan members, who wanted to show gratitude and respect to you! Each one of them blessed their piece with good intentions like health, good fortune, and happiness, and this is the bowl where it all mixes together to come to you! This top part here is from me, you see! So what do you think? Will you...accept it?" The nervousness was very evident in the other's voice. Naruto looked straight ahead to the back door.

"It isn't about whether I will accept it but rather, if you really want to give something so precious to someone like me. I don't recall doing anything that would garner something like that, nor do I do things in hope of getting offerings in return. I'll eat any good food sent my way, but you're the one that needs to decide if you really want to give me something like this." Naruto wanted him to really think about these decisions, especially because the object had significance to it, and planned to wait as Chouji thought about it. However, a fist hitting the table and a raising voice startled him out of his patience.

"Of course we want to give it to you!!" Chouji yelled. The sun wasn't playing its part, so Naruto couldn't see any shadows on the other side, only the voice.

"I absolutely want you to take it! It would mean a lot to me, but more importantly, you do deserve it! I wanted to thank you at some point, and I guess now it alright, but thank you for everything you did! For us, for the village, for those you deem precious. I-I always admired that about you. How you always do what you want to do, regardless of what other people think. Ah but-" Chouji stumbled in his words as Shikamaru, who had his hands raised again, gave him a pointed look. "Anyway this is just from me, like I said, but as a thank you from my clan, for... _everything_."

Naruto sat in silence, thinking about what he should do.

_'So, it's a thank you of some kind for the war? I still don't really know what exactly is going on but, food is food. And if Chouji is insisting this much on me having it, then I guess it's fine.'_

"Alright, then I'll take it. Though, I don't have as big of an appetite as I normally do yet...is it alright to put some of this aside for later?"

"Yeah! We can definitely do that. As I always say, yesterday's leftovers or tomorrow's new creation!"

This sentence made the other two laugh, and Shikamaru loosens his shoulders, as they helped dish out more appropriate size servings. Soon Naruto had a better size helping put in front of him. The team worked in tandem, passing more bowls between each other with Shikamaru handling anything going Naruto's way. Something hot was opened and poured, the smell enough to make Naruto almost drool, and then the finished Oyakondon was placed before him. Naruto took in carefully in his hands, feeling the heat from the bowl and letting it linger up to warm his face. Naruto wasted no time starting and almost melted away by how good it was. He ate at a leisure pace, as he took a sip, he could feel the warm liquid travel down into his stomach. So focused on the food he didn't see the exchange of glances and soft looks sent his way, though he somehow still finished first. Not that it seemed to be any problem, he thought as he munched away on the small plate of fried lotus roots placed next to him. He didn't realize it, no not at all did he realize it, but the happiness at being able to eat food this good made him sway and dance a little to himself.

 _'Delicious, finally some good fucking food.'_ That wasn't him discounting the ramen Iruka brought over, but the food in between the ramen in this was mainly nurti-bars and other quick and easy food. No comfort food like this.

"It's good isn't it?" Shikamaru asked gently in between his own bites.

"Mm?" Naruto looked over from working on his third fried lotus root before nodding, looking back down.

"It really is good. You have a real talent. If you ever opened up a shop I'm sure it wouldn't take long before you were well known and spoke about, and even if it did take time I'd probably be there every day to boost your sales." It was meant as a compliment even if the last part was sort of mumbled to himself. There was a pause before a warbly 'thank you' was heard, and Naruto tuned him out as he started talking about how much it meant to him.

_'It's a shame but I don't really know how to talk to Chouji, Shikamaru and Chouji were about the only other kids that didn't treat me too differently, although there was still some hesitation. It was always Shikamaru that talked to me while Chouji stood behind him being shy. It wasn't until the later year of the academy did we start to talk more...'_

He would have never guessed that those two would end up becoming people he cared for, people he could call his friends. It was such a strange feeling.

As the team talked amongst themselves Naruto found it in him to slide open the door just a little bit more, just a little bit enough to see Ino, who was sitting on the opposite side of the table. Her eyes were dancing and they lit up when she spotted him, but Naruto didn't return the look. Shikamaru really had a good idea. His room now, his place still kept the semblance of solitude. He pondered to himself, though, that it felt one side was bathed in dark and the other light, just he couldn't decide which one was which. While gazing out the window Naruto spotted the round little bird appearing again, and decided to give it some more food. He stuffed a lotus root in his mouth, thought about it, ate, and stuffed another one in while breaking off a little bit at the end. He got up and wandered over.

 _'Here you go, little guy. Maybe I should get some healthy food so you don't turn into a ball?'_ Naruto smiled softly as the bird ate. The smile was in enjoyment but it wavered at the feel of a gaze on his back. It was intense enough to make him sweat a little, but he knew exactly who it was.

 _'Does he think I won't feel such an intense gaze? You always look at me when you think I can't see ya know.'_ The little birdie almost seemed to sense his discomfort, the two looked at each other before both tilted their heads as Naruto let out a small chuckle.

_'This isn't so bad. Well, it still is something that two out of the three here don't look like anything I thought they would, and their appearances still throw me off a little. Though I suppose it helps to try and narrow down what this world actually is.'_

He turned his gaze away from the window and made his way back to his spot, confidence returning to him. Naruto sat down and grabbed the door, stopping when he noticed a lot more lotus roots on his place than he left, but he ignored that for now and opened the door a tad bit more, then all the way. Chouji looked surprised, but that could have been for any number of things including Naruto's own appearance, or from seeing him awake, or anything else that changes with him that he didn't even realize yet. Whatever the case may be Naruto didn't care, or to say couldn't focus on it, as his breath was stolen while taking in the giant on the other side.

The overlay was heavy, heavy enough that he almost couldn't see Chouji underneath, if not for the fact that the Not-World Chouji was significantly smaller than this one. That wild and spiky brown hair fell long and carefree. A cute butterfly hairband, from what Naruto could only instinctively assume came from Ino, held back unruly bangs. What caught Naruto the most was Chouji's face, _his face_ , didn't look like he remembered at all. Not from a Not-world and not from the past and Naruto was struck with the realization that he never really _looked_ Chouji closely in the face before, not since they were children. The spiral on his cheeks were there, as they always were. Though his eyes were kind and droopy, and striking green and teal. The cool colors holding more warmth than anyone could hope to achieve. It was like it was the first time he ever looked Chouji square in the face, and Naruto knew that he spent his life tracing his eyes around the red spirals more than taking in Chouji and that act was making him pay now. His act of not looking people in the eyes and taking them in was catching up to him quick.

 _Though he knew why._ He knew exactly why he never looked the kindhearted and shy kid in the face. Because Naruto was not used to having bright and pure eyes gaze at him, to look at him like he was _human_ so openly. It was terrifying! It was something he never got! And it made him scared, it made him distrustful. Wondering if the other one was looking at him like that to catch him off his guard. To laugh in his face at the end and say 'you really fell for it, you think anyone would want to be your friend?'

Those same eyes were here now, looking at him in such a gentle manner that Naruto nearly cried right then and there. Instead, he looked down and narrowed his eyes through the other layer that had not yet faded.

"You're clothing...look nice."

 _'That was pretty lame, even I can admit that...'_ His mind instantly smacked back. Though it was true, if not a little weird. Chouji know was wearing a sleeveless red Haori, with a layer of an armor sheet and fishnet underneath, leaving his biceps bare, and god they were huge. Naruto was sure that even Shikamaru's long deft fingers wouldn't even be able to wrap around them with both hands. There were soft looking at first glance but there was definitely muscle there. And at the bottom forearm, Naruto was memorized by the armor found there, the gold glittery cracks running along red-ish silver arm plates.

_'It must be made specifically for people in his clan...'_

It was interesting, it was nice. For a second Naruto knew that if his curiosity got the best of him and he asked to touch the armor, that the kind man would allow it. Would probably not even look uneasy either.

"Yeah, I helped him pick it out! He was a little shy about showing "so much skin" but I told him it would be great! And now look, see what did I tell you~" Ino teased her now blushing teammate with a soft coo before turning back to Naruto with a glint in her eye.

"You knooooow, I wouldn't mind helping you pick out outfits now and then."

"Ah, that may be too much trouble." Naruto replied. Ino's serious face was putting him off.

"Not at all, in fact-" she leaned dangerously over the table, "-I always wanted to dress you up! There are sooo many outfits you would just look darling in! Maybe something with lace, oh but I'm sure frills would suit you the most! Something definitely flowing ah! Maybe even a sailor outfit~" Ino put both hands to her cheeks and wiggled in spot, letting out a small kya as she apparently let loose the thoughts she has been holding back. Naruto honestly didn't know what to do. He looked to Shikamaru only to make the other jump, his hand that was outstretched hovering above Naruto's own bowl froze.

_'Did he really think I wouldn't notice him giving me more lotus root? Just look at the size of the pile!'_

They stared at each other for a solid minute before Shikamaru oh-so-carefully opened his chopsticks hovering over his bowl so the lotus root in them dropped in before stealthily retracting his arm.

_'...Maybe I am being tested by some God after all.'_

"You all are ridiculous you know?" Shikamaru just smiled.

"Aye, that's right. This team is filled with nothing but ridiculous people doing ridiculous things."

"That just means you should stay out of our way!" Ino added.

"Unless you want to be dragged in and become ridiculous yourself!" Chouji finished it all off with a beam so bright Naruto had to look away. The team were so close to each other, they bonded so well. It made him ache to be close to others just like that.

_'I wonder where Sasuke is now?'_

"Um..." He started, causing all other bodies to quiet down.

"I...do not much about fashion, but I do like flowing clothes. Though one of the things I always admired was those fur kimonos. You know, the one with white fur on the collar? They look really fluffy and nice, and I have seen some with very pretty colors." Naruto said the last part low as he thought of those garments. The three other people looked surprised, shared a look with each other, and then smiled.

"Mm! I like those too! Maybe one day we can go together and pick one out!" Ino said, clasping her hands together. Naruto nodded back. The air was a little shifty at the thought of him going out, but he could see from the corner of his eye how excited Shikamaru was at the prospect.

"Yeah yeah, I also- I also want to go out to eat with you!" Naruto looked at Chouji in surprise.

"Me?"

"Yeah, I want to go eat ramen with you! And try more food!"

"Oh? I don't think I would be good in that kind of area. I'm not a food connoisseur or anything like that." Naruto waved his hand at the notion.

Not at all! You can pick out each season in a bowl of ramen and can tell if something is added or even if something is off! I know you like ramen the most, and I'm not really expecting you to develop an interest in other food, but I thought it would be fun having you come with! Especially if Ino or Shika can't." Chouji scratched the side of his face and looked away shyly. The act was so different from the giant's appearance.

"Now now there isn't anything to be afraid of! It would be just a fun outing for you two, not like a trial of anything." Ino flapped her arms and leaned dramatically onto her teammate.

"Though you'd still be surprised about how important he takes food. This one time I was helping make dumplings and I folded the ends uneven, you would think I committed a crime! I stood there being lectured on how ' _uneven dumplings would ruin the presentation of the plate!"_

"It _will_ ruin the presentation!"

"I know I know, I learned my lesson!"

The three of them got into it, with Shikamaru acting as a mediator. Everything seemed light and airy, to the point where even Naruto felt like he was being affected by the atmosphere this team created. He almost found himself laughing in between observing everyone and their actions, and missing his own teammate. Chouji turned back to Naruto, a warm gentle light in his eyes. Naruto turned to face him more, reading off of his face that he was about to say something important.

"Well, when it comes to enjoying ramen I don't want to barge my way in. I know how important it is to you. How a bowl of ramen was the first ever kind gift you ever got."

"..." Naruto stared, the last of the bigger man's words coming out louder in his ears than was spoken. The lightheaded feeling that was forming in his mind dissipated. A cold, heavy, uncomfortable ball formed in his stomach, big enough to hurt the way he breathed. Naruto sucked in a breath and stood up. In three steps he walked over and opened the door the whole way, standing over Chouji and staring him down with eyes opposite. Warm, friendly, teal met a witch's brew blue, swirling and swirling.

"How did you know that?" Naruto whispered out.

"Mm?!"

He stared impassively down at the squirming man and waited till his words were actually understood. Teal eyes widen incredibly, before instinctively turning to his teammates. They were bouncing everywhere but Naruto's face.

"Hey, you. I asked you...how did you know that. How did you know something that I know I never told anyone before."

Naruto's naturally high voice sounded so wrong and downright disturbing coming out in the monotone voice, going down a few notches with each word. Chouji looked scared. He opened his mouth, staring at what Naruto would guess was Shikamaru while a bunch of sounds escaped his throat. Naruto, not once, looked away. His eyes threatened to swallow up the other man whole.

"I-uh...uh-um. T-t-the ramen chief..." Chouji's voice waved incredibly, his nervousness almost drowning out his words.

"Oh?" Naruto leaned in close to the shivering man.

"The, the ramen chief told me...about it. While you were asleep, I-uh...I heard it from him."

"..."

After a long moment, Naruto leaned back up and took a few steps backward, crossing the barrier once more between his room and the hall. His vision was swimming for too much for him to pick see anyone anymore. The colors kept changing, and everything felt tight. He wouldn't be surprised if Chouji's long long hair grew even more, overtaken the very corners of the room, wrapping themselves around Naruto's body tight.

_'The people at the ramen stand told him...'_

_'That's how it is...huh...'_

It took a moment, and a lot of strength, but Naruto made it back to the present. He could finally make out the three guests, two of which were cleaning up and shooting concerned looks and worried expressions. Shikamaru, the ever dutiful Shikamaru, was standing close by Naruto, watching him while biting his thumb.

"Are you alright? Is there anything I can-"

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked. Pointing to the two cleaning up.

"Ah, well...perhaps it is time for us to go? We don't want to overstay. Besides, you still need some rest to regain all your strength. If you do it won't be long until you're running the streets once more." Shikamaru gave a genuine smile. Ino came up behind him and looked at the things she brought over that were still sitting in the room. Naruto stepped aside to allow her in.

 _'I might not get better if people keep running away every time something upsets me.'_ That is what he wanted to say. On one hand, he was happy that they were leaving, happy for the quiet that should come and the time he would have to think more. On the other hand, if people keep rushing away like this it will be forever until he could get more information. What should he do?

"No." His commanding voice stopped everyone in their tracts. They all looked at him.

"There is no need to high tail it out of here, for today. It was probably difficult to carry all those things here right? It can be just a few more minutes." The two parties looked to Shikamaru. In the end, while Naruto was busying himself with his teapot, it was decided that they would stay for some tea. Luckily, the other three had their own teacups with them so Naruto didn't have to use his just yet, and even more luckily it seemed Chouji brought some dessert.

"Here, it's Monburan! Perfect for this time of year." Chouji was happy putting the chestnut dessert in front of him, and Naruto listened attentively while he ate as Chouji explained how he made it. The team was either good actors, or there just wasn't much that could ruin their mood. Either way, it wasn't awkward, and they finished on a high note. Soon the three teammates were standing straight in a line in front of Naruto's door as he stood on the other side, noting the Chouji had to duck to see into the room due to his height. They all straightened and bowed, bidding goodbye. Shikamaru was the lone one to stay there was Ino and Chouji laughed their way down the hall.

"Sorry..."

"There isn't anything to apologize for." Naruto still had the impassive look on his face.

"But-"

"It was fun. It was nice, and the food was really good. And it seems like I'll have a lot of leftovers to continue enjoying it. So it's all fine Shikamaru, you did well." Perhaps being around Kakashi so much caused it, but Naruto at that moment stood on his tiptoes and patted Shikamaru on the head. Shikamaru's eyes widened, before a small blush crossed his face. One of those smiles that scrunched up his eyes came, and Naruto was glad that he wasn't beating himself up for anything.

"Thanks, Naruto. Oh? Are those the scrolls I left over?" Both their attention was directed to the scroll peeking out from under the chair. It somehow unraveled and rolled farther away from where it was hidden.

"Mm, yeah. I was taking a look."

"Great! Good, I'm happy about that. I made sure to write down anything I thought you would need to help you."

_'How difficult will that be to read though.'_

Naruto kept the thought to himself. He watched Shikamaru's back as the other said goodbye once more and began walking off when a thought struck him.

"Hey. When will you be back again?"

"Huh?" Shikamaru turned back, the light from the windows playing across his face, making his eyes look like gold. Naruto's words processed in his mind, making Shikamaru give an intake before that same cute smile of his blossomed once more.

"Whenever you want! If it's fine, I can come back in two days to see how you are?"

Naruto thought for a moment. "Come back tomorrow, we'll see how I feel. If you want."

"Yeah!" Shikamaru's eyes dazzled as he waved and jogged the rest of the way out to catch up with his teammates. Naruto waited till he left, the last thing he saw before he closed his door were the fogged up windows from the delicious food they all ate.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments help inspire me.


End file.
